quote of the day thread..

" im a white man, you cant even hurt my feelings. what can you say to a white man to hurt their feelings?" -Louis CK



 
From the group Riders in the Sky

Never take a sleeping pill and a laxative at the same time
 
" Yes we got drunk last night yesterday too and Went on a nude cruise
Jest Cale's to say vroooom vroooom "
A text I just got from one of my boating friends.
Sounds like he is drunk again...
 
"A friend will help you up if someone knocks you down. A best friend will say 'Stay down, I got this.'"
 
-Brother(not sam): penny's have micro chips in them so the government can trace you.
-Me: how did you figure that out?
-Brother: they self destruct when you heat them up, they blow up!
-Me: got a lighter i have a shit load of penny's right here, i wanna see this.
-Driver: what? how long do you have to heat it?
-Brother: what do you mean?
-Driver: how long...
-Me: I assume till it blows up.
 
hey, everybody is smart. if you judge a fish on its ability to climb a tree it will live it's life believing its stupid.
 
"I thought if you were following a semi over a certain height you were exempt from running a red light when following them through an intersection"
 
Did you let them off or give it to em rough?
 
At the drive thru booze store the girl took my order and asked if it was to go.......I about put it in park and just sat there and drank one for the thought of it.

Cheese "she was cute and stupid, my favorite combo" Man
 
Text i sent to the wife today

warning: i made regular coffee and i made it strong!
 
Last Night:

Tara: You are to drive that jeep home from the shop? Last time I drove it on the road it was all over the place like I was driving on marshmallows.

ME: In Attica?

TARA: Yes when I went to the IGA

Me: UMMMMMMM Do you think having 8lbs of air in all four tires may have had something to do with it?

Tara: OH ya I forgot about that......

Ram" God I love that woman" Rod
 
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