Crazy Neighbor stories

DrMoab

DrMoab

NAXJA Forum User
Location
The Utah Backwater
Lets hear um!

Here is mine.

My brother, who is a local cop here calls me the other day.

Brother "You will never guess what just came over the radio"

Me "yeah?"

Brother "Yeah, your crazy ass neighbor just called the cops to report that an airplane has dropped sh!t on his roof"

Me "hahahahaha"

Brother "no serious, maybe you should go look at your roof just in case"

Me "OK, hold on and I will go check"

So I walk outside, I see the Co cop at his house, no crap on my roof

Me "nope, no crap"

Brother "OK I will talk to the cop after he gets done and get the story.

A few minutes later...

Brother "Well I guess it wasn't on his roof...it was in his driveway, a huge pile, the cop saw it and took some pictures"

Me "hahahahahah.

Four hours later....

I am outside in the back yard and I see my other neighbors walking a couple cows across my back yard so I go over and ask them whats the deal. I guess their prized Co. Fair cows got loose.

This got me thinking so I asked them.

Me "Did you go talk to (crazy assed neighbor)?

Other neighbor "yup, they walked across his front yard and he seemed really agitated and embarrassed about them being in his yard"

Me "I bet since he called the cops because he thought it was airplane poop"

Thats right folks...this guy can't tell the difference between a cow patty and blue ice.

Then last night he cornered my wife in the grocery store and told her that our rabbits were eating his garden.

We don't own rabbits.
 
This fourth of July I was out in the street with my family shooting fireworks.

Our neighbor, who has lived across from us for 20 years, had just come back from a dinner out and came out in a fury screaming about how the fireworks were illegal and scaring his dog, and that we were shooting fireworks in his yard. He also claimed that it had been going on for a long time now and that we needed to stop or he was going to call the cops.

We had started shooting fireworks five minutes before he got home.

We were in the vets office a few days later and overheard the vets talking about his new puppy and how it wouldn't stop peeing on the floor.

Our guess is that the dog had urinated on the floor long before he got home, but he automatically assumed that the fireworks scared the dog into peeing on the floor.

Last night the neighbor brought over an apology letter.
 
Osprey413 said:
This fourth of July I was out in the street with my family shooting fireworks.
Click to expand...
We were out of town at my cousin's house for the fourth this year and his neighbor was lighting off "Roman Candels" which are illegal in CA. He was holding them a firing them off right by his house (under the eves) at an angel until he stepped on his dog one went off at hit the eve and exploded sending him to the ground with a blown ear drum and concusion.
 
XJ Samo your post hurt my head to read. Could you be a little more careful with your spelling punctuation please? Otherwise people will just think that God was getting even with the guy for stomping on dogs and shooting at angels with roman candles.
 
Not really crazy - we've just got this neighbour who's decided she's President of our (non-existent) HOA. Calls us in every year for weeds, because we don't use herbicides (we dig them up,) and we aren't about to haul in a crew of Mexicans to do it for us (it's my wife's hobby - most of the time, she won't even let me work in the yard! Fair enough - I don't touch her yard, she doesn't touch my garage. Happy marriage.)

That's why we're moving - I'm getting tired of this bimbess. And, since we rent (and she owns,) we're the ni**ers on the block, so we always end up catching Hell.

It wouldn't be so bad, but she can't come to us first. She acts like my kid sister when she was six. I didn't take that from my kid sister when she was six - and I don't see why I should have to take it from some forty-something now, dammit!
 
well heres a good one, I live on 12 acres in the country, and we shoot guns quite a bit. Two rounds I have ever lost or cannot account for, in 20 some years of shooting. Now dad and I are out back zeroing my new cva optima pro .45 cal muzzle loader, when all the sudden the crazy A** neighbor come running down the fence line yelling and waiving hos hands franticly. Now dad and I have more than just the muzzle loader with us and are wondering what the hell jeff is doing. well he get close enough for us to hear him and hes yelling something about his boys being in a field behind ours! well after he tries to climb the fence and I give him "that" look he stops, and dad carefully explains to him that his boys were riding the quad and went in a differant direction. jeff then procedes to give us crap about shootong at his house and all other excuses. after a few mins of trying to talk to him he realizes his wife had gotten him all worked up about nothing and he apologizes. Ever since we moved out here we have had to deal with his antics, so much that he has called the local county police and told them we had a gang out here firing illeagel machine guns(how the hell does he know if they are legit or not) . now the police call just to make sure its us and not someone else!
 
We live out in the country on five acres. I was at the kitchen sink one morning and saw our neighbor come walking through the bushes wearing pajamas and carrying a coiled up rope. I didnt know what to think, was a little creeped out though. So I kept watching him and he keeps walking through our yard and goes into the bushes at the other end of our property. Never did find out what the deal was (I'm guessing animal related). Just kind of a weird thing to see at 10:00 in the morning on a weekday.

Couple months later we get some snow, I wake up open my blinds and see footprints outside my window. I look closer and they go half way around our house, make a U-turn and then into the bushes leading to his house (wher they came from). Again I was a little creeped out, it makes you wonder if this is a common thing while we arent home.

I've never really talked to the guy before, but he did come over and jump start my jeep one morning, so I cant bag on him to bad. Then theres the neighbor across from us who cut 95% of the trees down on his property (5 acres) to help pay for the house thats on it. :confused:
 
Neighbor growing up bought the house next door. In the garage was a refrigerator with a bunch of chain wrapped around it and locked. He decided to ignore this (why?!?) and continued moving in. About a week after living there he decided to cut the chain and open it up to see what was inside. Well inside the refer was a bunch of old dynamite that starting to sweet. Needless to say we spent the next couple hours 2 miles down the road waiting for the bomb squad to remove it all.

You know, now that I think about it, I cant think of any crazy neighbor stories since I’ve gotten older….crap, maybe I’m the crazy neighbor now. :wierd:
 
Well, I had certified crazy neighbors at one time, when I was at college. There aren't any funny stories there, though - just tragic ones. But, lazarus reminded me of back home. We lived in a farm house out in the middle of a corn field. It wasn't our corn, we just owned the house, yard and 1/4-mile driveway. Up at the end of the driveway, and west about 100 yards was our neighbors' house. Nice couple, Jim and Mary: good old, solid third-generation German farmers. They owned the corn field just west of the one around our house.

Every fall Jim would set up behind his barn to sight in his deer rifle. If you were out in the garden, or working in the shop overhauling a 318 or something, you'd hear his rifle - pop - then, through the corn field just west of us you'd hear a round go by - ziiiiiiiiiip - through the corn and off south toward the river. Now, Jim wasn't crazy or anything, and he only did this once a year, sighting in his rifle. We never said anything to him, but I always wondered if he knew just how far his rounds were going.
 
Now as far as a crazy neighbor, yes my neighbor is crazy, but in a good way. A few of you that used to be over at the RE forums may remember this happening, but for the others here it goes again. There was a bunch of stuff getting stolen in our neighborhood and my neighbor came over one evening and told me that his boat batteries had been stolen the night before and thought that I should keep an eye on my Jeeps since the TJ's have easy access hoods etc. Well, I kind of shrugged it off and though, gee how many batteries does a theif need. So I proceeded to just lock things up and hope for the best. A few days go by and one night about 1 AM I hear screaming from outside of my bedroom window so I come flying out of bed and grab my nightstand partner (pistol) and go running outside to see what the hell is going on. Now mind you that I am 6'3" and about 250# in my underwear and waving a pistol as I run outide. I came out of the house through the garage and did not even notice that the side entry to the garage was open. It was open b/c the damn theif was in my garage stealing all my hand tools. He had a nylon bag with about 150# of handtools shoved in it. The bag of tools was lying on the back deck area where all of the noise was coming from....and the screaming was him!! My crazy nrighbor had just got home from the late shift (bar!) and noticed the theif coming out of the garage. So my crazy neighbor snuck over to the side of our house and waited for the theif to come around the deck to leave and my neighbor busted a heavy wooden lawn chair over the guys head and beat the living shit out of the guy!! Hence, this is where the screaming was coming from. So my wife called the sheriff and frantically told them that the crazy neighbor was beating the hell out of a possible theif. The sheriff said if the theif was on the losing end of the fight that he (the sheriff) would take the long way there, but if me or the crazy neighbor were on the losing end he would be there immediatly. After they came and arrested the theif and we filed our complaints, the damn wet behind the ears deputy wanted to check me for proper paper work for my pistol....geezzzz! I know this sounds made up, but it honestly did happen. I wish I was creative enough to make this kind of crap up! I guess there is an advantage to having a crazy neighbor....but unfortunatly all the other neighbors put me in the same class as my crazy neighbor after they saw me running around waving a pistol in my underwear!!
 
Mines been seen on multiple occasions "making love" to his pillow with the lights on and the blinds open.
 
Ramsey said:
Mines been seen on multiple occasions "making love" to his pillow with the lights on and the blinds open.
Click to expand...

YOU'RE not the crazy neighbor?

You're block is f-ed up man!
 
XJ&TJ4ME said:
Now as far as a crazy neighbor, yes my neighbor is crazy, but in a good way. A few of you that used to be over at the RE forums may remember this happening, but for the others here it goes again. There was a bunch of stuff getting stolen in our neighborhood and my neighbor came over one evening and told me that his boat batteries had been stolen the night before and thought that I should keep an eye on my Jeeps since the TJ's have easy access hoods etc. Well, I kind of shrugged it off and though, gee how many batteries does a theif need. So I proceeded to just lock things up and hope for the best. A few days go by and one night about 1 AM I hear screaming from outside of my bedroom window so I come flying out of bed and grab my nightstand partner (pistol) and go running outside to see what the hell is going on. Now mind you that I am 6'3" and about 250# in my underwear and waving a pistol as I run outide. I came out of the house through the garage and did not even notice that the side entry to the garage was open. It was open b/c the damn theif was in my garage stealing all my hand tools. He had a nylon bag with about 150# of handtools shoved in it. The bag of tools was lying on the back deck area where all of the noise was coming from....and the screaming was him!! My crazy nrighbor had just got home from the late shift (bar!) and noticed the theif coming out of the garage. So my crazy neighbor snuck over to the side of our house and waited for the theif to come around the deck to leave and my neighbor busted a heavy wooden lawn chair over the guys head and beat the living shit out of the guy!! Hence, this is where the screaming was coming from. So my wife called the sheriff and frantically told them that the crazy neighbor was beating the hell out of a possible theif. The sheriff said if the theif was on the losing end of the fight that he (the sheriff) would take the long way there, but if me or the crazy neighbor were on the losing end he would be there immediatly. After they came and arrested the theif and we filed our complaints, the damn wet behind the ears deputy wanted to check me for proper paper work for my pistol....geezzzz! I know this sounds made up, but it honestly did happen. I wish I was creative enough to make this kind of crap up! I guess there is an advantage to having a crazy neighbor....but unfortunatly all the other neighbors put me in the same class as my crazy neighbor after they saw me running around waving a pistol in my underwear!!
Click to expand...

You sleep in your underwear ? I only do that in the winter or as a sign to the wife I'm not in the mooooo......never mind... was it a good lawn chair ? some of those good wood ones are expensive..
 
Ramsey said:
Mines been seen on multiple occasions "making love" to his pillow with the lights on and the blinds open.
Click to expand...

My daughter saw the lady in the apartment across the alley way in philly getting bit of lovin from her black lab....doggy style too.... the sad part is she's pretty good looking and I always wonder if her boyfriend knows...
 
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