Cheezy jokes.....lets hear em

[Johnnie Walker]

What do you call a 7-course Irish meal?
A SIX PACK AND A POTATO!

What do you call someone who doesn't fart in public?
A PRIVATE TUTOR!

You can always pick your nose but you can never choose your face.

A child is dressed up as a pirate for Halloween, knocks on a person's door and says "Trick or Treat"
The person at the door hands the child some candy and says "A pirate eh? Where are your buccaneers?"
The child says "Under my buckin-hat!"

 

[DrMoab]

A child is dressed up as a pirate for Halloween, knocks on a person's door and says "Trick or Treat"
The person at the door hands the child some candy and says "A pirate eh? Where are your buccaneers?"
The child says "Under my buckin-hat!"

Someone scooped you. Read back a page or two.

 

[Johnnie Walker]

What happens to old mufflers?
THEY GET EXHAUSTED!

 

[1989JeepCherokee]

Do you wanna here a joke?
Woman's Rights.

 

[Johnnie Walker]

What you need to start with is..
'Do you wanna hear something funny?' ... 'The WNBA!'
Then..

Do you wanna here something funnier?
Woman's Rights.

 

[stewie]

Do you wanna here a joke?
Woman's Rights.

she has the right and the moral obligation to get me a beer!

 

[mcdavid123]

What's the difference between Oral sex and Anal sex?

One makes your Whole Week, the other makes your Hole Weak

 

[CherBear]

Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.
This made him a super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

 

[Jeepman401]

What's the difference between Oral sex and Anal sex?

One makes your Whole Week, the other makes your Hole Weak

I think your doing it wrong

 

[Poofengle]

A priest, a rabbi, and a chinese man all walk into a bar. The bartender turns to them and asks, "What is this, a joke?"

 

[Poofengle]

Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff:

clicky

 

[4WDlifeform]

I got a few to share with y'all!

A dog with no legs, is named Cigarette. Why?? The owner would take him for a drag every morning.

What has balls, and screws old ladies?
-Bingo.

 

[4WDlifeform]

A married man walks outside to see his wife gardening. She was bending over, planting flowers, and her husband says, "wow! I bet your butt is as wide as the gas grill!" So, the husband gets a tape measure and measures the grill, and then his wife's butt. "Yep! Your butt is as wide as the gas grill!" Later that night, they lay down for bed. The husband asks his wife, "hey honey, how about some lovin?" the wife yells back, "you mean you want me to fire up this big-(butt)-grill for one little wienie!?"

 

[joe_peters]

Woman walks up to me wearing a "T" shirt with the word "GUESS" printed on the front.

I said "Implants?"

Bhatch slapped me!

 

[zummzy]

Mickey Mouse is sitting at a bar, slugging whiskey and holding back tears.
The bartender says, "Hey, you gotta cheer up. So what if Minnie acts a little silly, it's not the end of the world."
Mickey looks up with bloodshot eyes and says, "You a**hole, I didn't say she was silly, I said she was f**kin' Goofy!"

 

[HaleYes]

A three legged dog hobbles into to bar. He walks up to the bartender and says, "I'm looking for the guy that shot my Paw..."

 

[MT Mike]

An elderly New York couple, Margaret and Bert, moved to Texas.

Bert always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots, so, seeing some on
sale, he bought them and wore them home.

Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife,
"Notice anything different about me?"

Margaret looked him over. "Nope."

Frustrated, Bert stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and walked
back into the kitchen completely naked except for the boots.

Again he asked Margaret, a little louder this time, "Notice anything
different NOW?"

Margaret looked up and exclaimed, "Bert, what's different? It's hanging
down today, it was hanging down yesterday, it'll be hanging down again
tomorrow!"

Furious, Bert yelled,
"AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT'S HANGING DOWN, MARGARET?"

"Nope", she replied.

"IT'S HANGING DOWN, BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!!!!"

Without changing her expression, and shaking her head, Margaret replied,
"Shoulda bought a hat, Bert.
Shoulda bought a hat."

 

[stewie]

what would cheezy jokes be without some gay jokes...:spin3:

im not gay, but my boyfriend is!:dunno:

so last week i was scewing this guy in the rear and i thought that i would be nice and gave him a reach around. F@got had a hard on!lastara

yesterday i was doing this other guy in the rear and afterwards he wanted to cuddle. i said "dude, im not gay.":eyes:

 

[Darky]

I think some people don't fully understand the meaning of cheezy....3 men walked into a bar, the 4th one ducked. Cheesy. Three men walked into a bar, the fourth one raped your mom. Not cheesy so much as off-color or dirty...

 

[16guns]

A guy is driving down a street with four penguins in the back seat. A cop pulls him over and asks why? The man responds these guys are my buddies! The cop says take them to the zoo right now! The next day the cop sees the man with the penguins in the back and pulls him over. The cop says...didn't I tell you to take them to the zoo? The guy says sure did we had a great time and now were going to the beach!