asp
NAXJA Forum User
- Location
- Westport, MA
:roflmao:
-
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Cheezy jokes.....lets hear em
- Thread starter Curtis_H
- Start date
:roflmao:
bigdumbfun
NAXJA Forum User
- Location
- belfair, WA
A penguin drops his Jeep off at the local mechanic to check out an oil leak. The mechanic tells him that he will put it up on the rack and to come back in an hour to pick it up.
So the penguin decides to go next door to the Dairy Queen and get an ice cream cone to help kill the time.
When he returns about an hour later the mechanic says, "Hey. It looks like you blew a seal".
The penguin relpied, "No. That's just ice cream".
So the penguin decides to go next door to the Dairy Queen and get an ice cream cone to help kill the time.
When he returns about an hour later the mechanic says, "Hey. It looks like you blew a seal".
The penguin relpied, "No. That's just ice cream".
asp
NAXJA Forum User
- Location
- Westport, MA
There's this blonde out for a walk.
She comes to a river and sees
another blonde on the opposite bank
'Yoo-hoo!' she shouts, 'How can I
get to the other side?'
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts
back, 'You ARE on the other side.'
She comes to a river and sees
another blonde on the opposite bank
'Yoo-hoo!' she shouts, 'How can I
get to the other side?'
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts
back, 'You ARE on the other side.'
Hellbent
NAXJA Forum User
- Location
- san diego, california
A blonde scientist is testing how far a frog can jump. She places the frog down and yells, "JUMP!" The frog jumps 12 feet. Then the scientist cuts off one of the frog's legs and runs the test again. "JUMP!" The frog jumps 6 feet. She cuts off a second leg, places the frog down and yells, "JUMP!" The frog goes nowhere. Her conclusion: when both of a frog's rear legs are cut off, the frog cannot hear.
HaleYes
NAXJA Forum User
- Location
- Clay County, IL
bigalpha
Moderator
- Location
- Tucson, AZ
A guy walks into the bar and slams 20 dollars onto the table and says "Give me four shots of vodka"
As soon as the bartender pours the shots the guy slams them down. So the bartender says, "What's the celebration?"
"My first blowjob."
So the bartender hears this and says "Oh, Congratulations! Here have another shot on me."
The guy says, "Nah, that's okay. If the first four didn't get the taste out of my mouth I don't think a fifth one would help."
As soon as the bartender pours the shots the guy slams them down. So the bartender says, "What's the celebration?"
"My first blowjob."
So the bartender hears this and says "Oh, Congratulations! Here have another shot on me."
The guy says, "Nah, that's okay. If the first four didn't get the taste out of my mouth I don't think a fifth one would help."
- Location
- WA state
Chased by the Bear[FONT=System,Helvetica] [/FONT][FONT=System,Helvetica]Chased by the Bear [/FONT]
[FONT=System,Helvetica][/FONT][FONT=System,Helvetica][/FONT][FONT=System,Helvetica] Once there were these two backpackers who see a bear begin to charge them so one backpacker takes off his hiking boots and puts on running shoes.
His companion says, "You'll never outrun the bear, why are you putting those on?"
The guy with the running shoes replies, "I don't have to outrun the bear, I just have to outrun you."
----------------------------
Got all the Equipment[FONT=System,Helvetica] [/FONT][FONT=System,Helvetica]Got all the Equipment [/FONT]
[FONT=System,Helvetica][/FONT][FONT=System,Helvetica][/FONT][FONT=System,Helvetica] A couple went on vacation to a fishing resort up north. The husband liked to fish at the crack of dawn; the wife preferred to read.
One morning the husband returned after several hours of fishing and decided to take a short nap.
The wife decided to take the boat out. She was not familiar with the lake so she rowed out, anchored the boat, and started reading her book.
Along comes the sheriff in his boat, pulls up alongside and says, "Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?"
"Reading my book," she replies as she thinks to herself, 'Is this guy blind, or what?'
"You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her.
"But, Officer, I'm not fishing. Can't you see that?"
"But you have all this equipment, Ma'am. I'll have to take you in and write you up."
"If you do that I will charge you with rape," snaps the irate woman.
"I didn't even touch you," grouses the sheriff.
"Yes, that's true....but you have all the equipment..."
[/FONT]
[/FONT]
[FONT=System,Helvetica][/FONT][FONT=System,Helvetica][/FONT][FONT=System,Helvetica] Once there were these two backpackers who see a bear begin to charge them so one backpacker takes off his hiking boots and puts on running shoes.
His companion says, "You'll never outrun the bear, why are you putting those on?"
The guy with the running shoes replies, "I don't have to outrun the bear, I just have to outrun you."
----------------------------
Got all the Equipment[FONT=System,Helvetica] [/FONT][FONT=System,Helvetica]Got all the Equipment [/FONT]
[FONT=System,Helvetica][/FONT][FONT=System,Helvetica][/FONT][FONT=System,Helvetica] A couple went on vacation to a fishing resort up north. The husband liked to fish at the crack of dawn; the wife preferred to read.
One morning the husband returned after several hours of fishing and decided to take a short nap.
The wife decided to take the boat out. She was not familiar with the lake so she rowed out, anchored the boat, and started reading her book.
Along comes the sheriff in his boat, pulls up alongside and says, "Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?"
"Reading my book," she replies as she thinks to herself, 'Is this guy blind, or what?'
"You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her.
"But, Officer, I'm not fishing. Can't you see that?"
"But you have all this equipment, Ma'am. I'll have to take you in and write you up."
"If you do that I will charge you with rape," snaps the irate woman.
"I didn't even touch you," grouses the sheriff.
"Yes, that's true....but you have all the equipment..."
[/FONT]
[/FONT]
- Location
- WA state
Bible Salesman:
[FONT=System,Helvetica]A sales company has particular trouble selling bibles. One day, a man comes in with a job application and says "l-l-l-l'd l-l-l-l-l- like t-t-t-t-t-to b-b-b-b- b-be a b-b-b-bible salesman, s-s-s-sir." initially, he doesn't want to give the job to this man, but decided to try him out.
After three weeks, the manager is looking at the charts and realizes that the newest guy is selling the most copies. Amazed, he calls him in to his office.
"You've only worked here for three weeks and you've already sold more copies than anyone else here! How do you do it?"
"W-w-w-w-w-well, l g-g-g-go up t-t-t-t-to th-the d-d-d-door and-d-d l-l--l s-s-s-say, w-w-w-w-would y-y-y-y-y-y-you l-l-l-l-l-like t-t-to b-b-b-b-buy a c-c-copy o-o-of th-th-th-the b-b-b-bible, or w-w-w- w-w-would y-y-y-y-you l-l-l-l-like m-m-me t-t-t-to r-r-r-r-read it t-t-t-t-t-to y-y-y-you?"
[/FONT]
[FONT=System,Helvetica]A sales company has particular trouble selling bibles. One day, a man comes in with a job application and says "l-l-l-l'd l-l-l-l-l- like t-t-t-t-t-to b-b-b-b- b-be a b-b-b-bible salesman, s-s-s-sir." initially, he doesn't want to give the job to this man, but decided to try him out.
After three weeks, the manager is looking at the charts and realizes that the newest guy is selling the most copies. Amazed, he calls him in to his office.
"You've only worked here for three weeks and you've already sold more copies than anyone else here! How do you do it?"
"W-w-w-w-w-well, l g-g-g-go up t-t-t-t-to th-the d-d-d-door and-d-d l-l--l s-s-s-say, w-w-w-w-would y-y-y-y-y-y-you l-l-l-l-l-like t-t-to b-b-b-b-buy a c-c-copy o-o-of th-th-th-the b-b-b-bible, or w-w-w- w-w-would y-y-y-y-you l-l-l-l-like m-m-me t-t-t-to r-r-r-r-read it t-t-t-t-t-to y-y-y-you?"
[/FONT]
Trail Blazer
NAXJA Forum User
- Location
- Moberly, Missouri
thats sad, cuz we've had people order pizza from us and ask the SAME question.
other stupid questions: "whats the difference between cheesy bread and bread sticks?" ....... one has cheese....
"What comes on your chicken-bacon-ranch sandwich?" ........
"Whats the difference between your deep-dish and your thin crust?" ....
stewie
NAXJA Forum User
so, whats the answers??
souske
NAXJA Forum User
- Location
- The land of competition
djwright4341
NAXJA Forum User
- Location
- Kentucky
What's brown and sticky?
A stick...
A stick...
GrimmJeeper
NAXJA Forum User
- Location
- Gardena, CA
tbburg
NAXJA Forum User
- Location
- Scottsdale AZ
Make you own joke:
Difficulty level: Easy
Goal: make "Yo mama", "Paris Hilton", "fill in your favorite porn star name" joke by using headline, and adding a minimum of punctuation.
Link to Headline
Difficulty level: Easy
Goal: make "Yo mama", "Paris Hilton", "fill in your favorite porn star name" joke by using headline, and adding a minimum of punctuation.
Link to Headline
Darky
NAXJA Forum User
- Location
- 29 Palms, CA
Yo momma's so fat, her diaphragm is known as the World's biggest beaver dam and can be seen from space.
87_trailrig
NAXJA Forum User
- Location
- pomona CA
So a blond is driving her kids to Disney and theirs construction going on as she gets close a big orange sing says disneyland left .. So turns around and goes home ... Lol you said Cheesy !
MT Mike
NAXJA Forum User
- Location
- Helena, MT
What did one earthworm say to the other earthworm?
Are you my ass?
Are you my ass?
- Location
- Rainy side of Washington
What did 0 say to 8?
Nice belt.
Nice belt.
Poofengle
NAXJA Forum User
- Location
- Golden, Colorado
What did the fish say when it ran into a wall?
Dam.
A sandwich walks in to a bar.
The bartender looks at the sandwich and says "Sorry buddy, we don't serve food here"
Did you hear the joke about the broken pencil?
Nevermind... it's pointless
Dam.
A sandwich walks in to a bar.
The bartender looks at the sandwich and says "Sorry buddy, we don't serve food here"
Did you hear the joke about the broken pencil?
Nevermind... it's pointless
