I might have missed what year, exactly is your car, and the exact part number of the
RMS you installed, but have you used this? ...
FelPro BS40612 Rear Main Seal Set; Rubber; Two-piece; Double lip; Improved design.
Are you sure you installed the seal facing the correct direction?
The sleeve your mechanic is talking about is called a Speedi-Sleeve. It's a very thin
stainless steel collar that is pushed on to the end of the crankshaft and gives a brand
new surface for the seal to ride on. I do not know whether if one is available for the
4.0L engine, however.