Boot Camp Stories

ZomBrady

Chubby Chaser Extraordinaire
Location
Albuquerque
So I turned one of my close college friends on to the Marine Officer Corps and he shipped out for OCS last summer.

Being a former Jarhead, I wasn't content to just allow him to suffer the normal tortureous boot camp experience without livening it up a bit for him.

We had kept intouch every couple of weeks or so, but around his 8 or 9th week I decided it was time to truly make the boy stand out in his company.

I had my usual letter and my wife had written him too, when it struck me the it was a very, very good idea to have my wife address the envelope in the girliest handwriting possible, professing undying love for him and wishing him a happy birthday. . . .in hot pink ink and dousing the envelope with perfume too.. . with my name on the return address.

About a week later I recieved a phone call from one very flustered officer candidate on a sunday afternoon. Nick relayed the events that transpired during mailcail.

As it turned out his DI's weren't aware that he had a birthday that week or that was a flaming homosexual. This upset them very much. They also seemed rather upset that he had kept this information form them.

He said he was made to stand at the POA while the DI's from his Company's other plts filed into inspect this bit of mail. There was much speculation as to his particular sexual orientation among the DIs too, since it was my name on the return address.

Finally, the Company 1st Sgt entered and inspected the envelope and upon further scrutiny, informed the gathered DIs that the individual, me, who had sent the letter, was infact a former Marine. . . .

Nick, my friend, said that for the following 6 weeks he had DIs from entirely different battalions coming up to him and asking him if he was the Candidate Barbie(his new nick name to the DIs), who had recieved the now infamous letter, and then walked off laughing . . ..

I think its a good one.

It really makes me regret that I let my wife talk me out of send him the inflateable sheep that I had picked out for him.

Got any? :D
 
SBrad001 said:
"...Being a former Jarhead..."

I call bs... :twak:

...no such thing
 
Its funny to do, but man thats messed up, Im glad none of my friends did that to me while I was going though along time ago
 
SBrad001,
First thing first...Semper Fi!!
While in Boot Camp there was a guy from down south that had developed a rather severe case of hemmoroids. He went to Sick Bay and was given a hand full of suppositories and was instructed to use them ASAP. Of course ASAP was at the DI's convience, this meant after PT. So the the Private finally gets to the head and about 20 seconds later we hear a blood curtling scream and the private runs out clutching his back side.

Seems he didn't bother removing th foil wrapper prior to insertion.

He later reported that he no longer required the use of the medication, because in his rush to insert the suppositories and foil wrapper...he sliced the 'roids clean off.


Painfull? I can't imagine!
Funny? Oh hell yes!!


We also had a kid transfer into our platoon half way through boot camp because he wrote a letter to his State Senator complaining about the treatment he had to indure as part of his training. The dipstick didn't know that the Senator was a former Marine.
 
RTicUL8 said:
I call bs... :twak:

...no such thing
Well, not that you need it, but I was a 2651 SigInt Operator. When I assigned to FMF, it was with the 4th SSCT, attached to MWHS-3, at MCAS El Toro. Upon completion of my contracted active duty service, I did some reserve time with MASS-6, Det Alpha, at MCAS Miramar. I did a lat move to 7242 Tactical Air Controler, THIS NOT FORWORD AIR CONTROLLING FOR CLOSE IN AIR SUPPORT, but more like regular air controlling at a FOB.

[QOUTE=Frank Z]
SBrad001,
First thing first...Semper Fi!!
While in Boot Camp there was a guy from down south that had developed a rather severe case of hemmoroids. He went to Sick Bay and was given a hand full of suppositories and was instructed to use them ASAP. Of course ASAP was at the DI's convience, this meant after PT. So the the Private finally gets to the head and about 20 seconds later we hear a blood curtling scream and the private runs out clutching his back side.

Seems he didn't bother removing th foil wrapper prior to insertion.

He later reported that he no longer required the use of the medication, because in his rush to insert the suppositories and foil wrapper...he sliced the 'roids clean off.


Painfull? I can't imagine!
Funny? Oh hell yes!!


We also had a kid transfer into our platoon half way through boot camp because he wrote a letter to his State Senator complaining about the treatment he had to indure as part of his training. The dipstick didn't know that the Senator was a former Marine.[/QUOTE]

Hey, thanks!

I so miss the messed up jokes we used to play on one another back in service. Civilians just don't seem to understand that bored is meant to faught tooth and nail when it rears it's ugly head and the best way to do that is play jokes on one another. . . .
 
SBrad001 said:
Well, not that you need it, but I was a 2651 SigInt Operator. When I assigned to FMF, it was with the 4th SSCT, attached to MWHS-3, at MCAS El Toro. Upon completion of my contracted active duty service, I did some reserve time with MASS-6, Det Alpha, at MCAS Miramar. I did a lat move to 7242 Tactical Air Controler, THIS NOT FORWORD AIR CONTROLLING FOR CLOSE IN AIR SUPPORT, but more like regular air controlling at a FOB.

Chill your shorts man! :laugh3:

I believe you:thumbup:

I was emphasizing the "former" part.
You're always a Marine, right?

-somewhat of an evil, twisted, and devious Marine...
but still a Marine nevertheless.
 
Why is it when Marines tell stories they sound like they're bullshitting you? :D

My most exciting story from MP School was when Javal Davis (google the name and read about his Abu Ghraib misconduct) threatened to take my life while I slept. Good times. :D:D:D

Another good one was how my buddy and I joined the Army after having bad luck with jobs and girlfriends. We joined to get in shape, too. Why not, right? I really butted heads with our Drill SGT, who was a real hardass. He was hurt in a training exercise later on. My buddy and I hooked up with a couple of hottie MP chicks. After staying up all night before graduation, we found it in us to develop a kickass drill routine that would blow away the competition. Our commanding General appreciated our initiative and assigned us to protect a Top Secret vehicle in Italy. Our MP gals followed us over and we ended up saving our buddies' skins after our dumbass CO took them into Czechoslovakia. Idiots.
 
RTicUL8 said:
Chill your shorts man! :laugh3:

I believe you:thumbup:

I was emphasizing the "former" part.
You're always a Marine, right?

-somewhat of an evil, twisted, and devious Marine...
but still a Marine nevertheless.

Ah, gotcha ya. Now I feel like a heel. . . . damn this imperfect electronic medium for not conveying the proper intonations of speach. . . .
 
ECKSJAY said:
Why is it when Marines tell stories they sound like they're bullshitting you? :D

My most exciting story from MP School was when Javal Davis (google the name and read about his Abu Ghraib misconduct) threatened to take my life while I slept. Good times. :D:D:D

Another good one was how my buddy and I joined the Army after having bad luck with jobs and girlfriends. We joined to get in shape, too. Why not, right? I really butted heads with our Drill SGT, who was a real hardass. He was hurt in a training exercise later on. My buddy and I hooked up with a couple of hottie MP chicks. After staying up all night before graduation, we found it in us to develop a kickass drill routine that would blow away the competition. Our commanding General appreciated our initiative and assigned us to protect a Top Secret vehicle in Italy. Our MP gals followed us over and we ended up saving our buddies' skins after our dumbass CO took them into Czechoslovakia. Idiots.


H***S**T! You too?! Boy, I sure earned my Stripes at that strip joint that night. :D
 
During AIT, I had a Drill Seargent, show us the ropes on the repelling tower. He said he could do it with one hop about 5' from the ground. He did it with one hop and 0' feet from the ground. He slid down that rope fast and never used his brake. broke both femurs, both knees and one ankle. What a tard.
 
I'm a 53 crew chief now currently stationed at HMX in the USMC and its an ongoing joke between pilots and crew that the pilots are tards and aren't smart enough to fly the helo's, well, to make a long story short, if the pilots drag our tail skid upon landing (used to prevent the tail from smacking the deck and causing sever damage, a tail skid is a huge shock absorber that isn't made to be used for normal landings) the crew gets a case of beer from the pilot who drags the skid. Well, there are good pilots and bad pilots and usually only the good ones get to fly the president around (the bad ones leave very quickly) so needless to say, at HMX we don't usually drag skids (which is mostly a FMF occurance), so we being the cheap bastards we are don't buy any. We've come up with a great method of getting beer though! We every now and then bring a shovel with us and tell the pilots they drug our skid and owe us beer. We usually get pilots wanting proof (here's where the shovel comes in), so we go out the ramp and scoop us up some dirt (off the skid or there abouts =) ) and bring it back to the pilots! Free beer! Wahoo! So to all you pilots out there that drive XJ's, drag skids more often! We're thirsty!
 
53guy said:
I'm a 53 crew chief now currently stationed at HMX in the USMC and its an ongoing joke between pilots and crew that the pilots are tards and aren't smart enough to fly the helo's, well, to make a long story short, if the pilots drag our tail skid upon landing (used to prevent the tail from smacking the deck and causing sever damage, a tail skid is a huge shock absorber that isn't made to be used for normal landings) the crew gets a case of beer from the pilot who drags the skid. Well, there are good pilots and bad pilots and usually only the good ones get to fly the president around (the bad ones leave very quickly) so needless to say, at HMX we don't usually drag skids (which is mostly a FMF occurance), so we being the cheap bastards we are don't buy any. We've come up with a great method of getting beer though! We every now and then bring a shovel with us and tell the pilots they drug our skid and owe us beer. We usually get pilots wanting proof (here's where the shovel comes in), so we go out the ramp and scoop us up some dirt (off the skid or there abouts =) ) and bring it back to the pilots! Free beer! Wahoo! So to all you pilots out there that drive XJ's, drag skids more often! We're thirsty!

I'd bet a case of beer that pilots can actually spell and structure sentences properly. :gag:
 
ECKSJAY said:
I'd bet a case of beer that pilots can actually spell and structure sentences properly. :gag:

That's not always true. We would get MAF's from pilots that took awhile to figure out what they were trying to say.

Sarge
 
ECKSJAY said:
I'd bet a case of beer that pilots can actually spell and structure sentences properly. :gag:

hahaa, yeah, probably, but i'm enlisted and dont give a rats ass, lol.

SARGE said:
That's not always true. We would get MAF's from pilots that took awhile to figure out what they were trying to say.

very true sarge. and the dumbest MAF's as well. "Transponder non functional in O. F. F. function. I. F. F. works fine when transponder is in O. N. position." ya know, i've always wondered how those tards get out of school and can still mess up simple stuff like that. college education to break em, high school diploma to fix em.
 
ECKSJAY said:
Why is it when Marines tell stories they sound like they're bullshitting you? :D

My most exciting story from MP School was when Javal Davis (google the name and read about his Abu Ghraib misconduct) threatened to take my life while I slept. Good times. :D:D:D

Another good one was how my buddy and I joined the Army after having bad luck with jobs and girlfriends. We joined to get in shape, too. Why not, right? I really butted heads with our Drill SGT, who was a real hardass. He was hurt in a training exercise later on. My buddy and I hooked up with a couple of hottie MP chicks. After staying up all night before graduation, we found it in us to develop a kickass drill routine that would blow away the competition. Our commanding General appreciated our initiative and assigned us to protect a Top Secret vehicle in Italy. Our MP gals followed us over and we ended up saving our buddies' skins after our dumbass CO took them into Czechoslovakia. Idiots.

Didn't realize you were in boot camp in 1981.
 
okay Im about to make my trek to Parris Island......what are the do's and dont's of boot camp?????

-Andy
 
dont be the only one to smile, when they take your company picture. i found out the hard way.
 
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