New tires= upset wife. Why?

[Darky]

I am not sure about opinions from those that have their names in BLACK here. Divorcees learn.... at least most do IMHO.

What's that all about? My in-laws share the decision making, both work and make money, but neither of them goes out and buys big ticket items without asking the other or talking to the other. They're both very happy, have a great marriage. Not everything is about you here, when you get married you are giving yourself up to your wife much as she is giving herself to you. I think the big problem in here is too many people see it this is my life, I'll do as I please who cares about what that person I live with thinks. Maybe they don't learn, selfishness will kill your marriage. Even if it lasts, she will resent you and problems will at some arise because of it.

 

[GSequoia]

I am not sure about opinions from those that have their names in BLACK here. Divorcees learn.... at least most do IMHO.

'cept them multiple divorcees. I've you've got around the alter three times something might be wrong...

Unless your others were all rich and died of mysterious circumstances

Authorities said... best leave it... unsolved.

 

[Glenn B]

YOU made the comment about not taking advice from divorcees. I am one, and happily remarried.... so I commented back. How is that not clear?

What's that all about? My in-laws share the decision making, both work and make money, but neither of them goes out and buys big ticket items without asking the other or talking to the other. They're both very happy, have a great marriage. Not everything is about you here, when you get married you are giving yourself up to your wife much as she is giving herself to you. I think the big problem in here is too many people see it this is my life, I'll do as I please who cares about what that person I live with thinks. Maybe they don't learn, selfishness will kill your marriage. Even if it lasts, she will resent you and problems will at some arise because of it.

 

[Beezil]

when you get married you are giving yourself up to your wife much as she is giving herself to you.

this is the recipe for castration.

you don't have to "give up" anything.

buncha wussies.

 

[old_man]

You sure like stirring the pot don't you Beezil? I felt the way you seem to until I met my wife. What I give up is nothing compared to what I get. Actually my wife buys me winches and stuff for my birthday. Heck, she even did her research and got me all the accessories as well. She also sees if I've been having a bad week and has been known to meet me at the door and hand me a fishing rod, a cooler of food and told me to go fishing for a couple of days. I wish everyone could find as good a wife as mine. Yes, I spoil her, but she also spoils me. We don't keep score.

 

[Ivan]

What's that all about? My in-laws share the decision making, both work and make money, but neither of them goes out and buys big ticket items without asking the other or talking to the other. They're both very happy, have a great marriage. Not everything is about you here, when you get married you are giving yourself up to your wife much as she is giving herself to you. I think the big problem in here is too many people see it this is my life, I'll do as I please who cares about what that person I live with thinks. Maybe they don't learn, selfishness will kill your marriage. Even if it lasts, she will resent you and problems will at some arise because of it.

Your in-laws share pretty much the same philosophy as my wife and I. It's worked well for us too, and 27 years of marriage proves it. It's not just about her and I... it's about US.

Besides, it was my wife that suggested I buy a new Cherokee, instead of a used Exploder I was looking at... glad I listened to her..

Ivan

 

[Rev Den]

Married to the same woman for 17 years has taught me that marriage is a partnership based on mutual respect and love. Once you have that, everything else works out.

Rev

 

[seanR]

Married to the same woman for 17 years has taught me that marriage is a partnership based on mutual respect and love. Once you have that, everything else works out.

Rev

I second that!

 

[FlexyJOE]

What you guys talkn about?????


Just go get parts put on jeep go jeeping.... All good!

Wifes are to be out working making money!!!!!!

:d

hinkley

Exactly!!!! Just let the wifey get her OWN junk to wheel....then you can yell at her when she needs parts.....and trust me ...this is the real world at my house...... Right mark????


Joe

 

[Jeepin_rebel]

Its not so much the asking permission im talking about....its my money i spens it how i please!!! Its more the bitching about how i can spend the money on what i want. I tell her if she got off her ass id have no problem with her buyin all the bs she wants. But till then Sit down shut up.

 

[Roxtar]

You sure like stirring the pot don't you Beezil? I felt the way you seem to until I met my wife. What I give up is nothing compared to what I get. Actually my wife buys me winches and stuff for my birthday. Heck, she even did her research and got me all the accessories as well. She also sees if I've been having a bad week and has been known to meet me at the door and hand me a fishing rod, a cooler of food and told me to go fishing for a couple of days. I wish everyone could find as good a wife as mine. Yes, I spoil her, but she also spoils me. We don't keep score.

That's great. It sounds like she's the kind of wife who would understand that you're a reponsible adult, and if you say you need tires, and you're not spending the rent money on them, then you should get the damn tires.
Marriage is a partnership but true 50/50 partnerships rarely exist and even more rarely work. There has to be a leader, someone who will take the final responsibility for a decision. A smart leader gets input from his advisors (wife) but, ultimately, it has to rest on his shoulders.

 

[dmillion]

I think it's kind of funny to hear these people saying, "I do whatever I want and she does whatever she wants and either of us can spend whatever we want whenever we want because it's a partnership!"

Guess what? A partnership doesn't work that way! I've been in a legal, business partnership. We had one set of accounts and one set of books for both of us. Each of us was free to spend a certain amount of money without consulting the other, but NO major expenditures were allowed without the consent of both partners. Decisions that affected the partnership were made BY the partnership, not independently. THAT'S how a partnership works!

You do whatever you want? She does whatever she wants? Separate accounts? No need to discuss even large expenditures? That's not a partnership. That's two people leading separate lives!

On the other hand, there do seem to be some people here who understand what a partnership is and, yes, a good marriage truly is a partnership. And in any partnership, if you're going to spend 1/4 of the month's budget on ANYTHING, you talk it over with the partner first!

 

[Beezil]

You do whatever you want? She does whatever she wants? Separate accounts? No need to discuss even large expenditures? That's not a partnership. That's two people leading separate lives!

in the same house.

and sometimes, what I want to do coincides with what she wants to do and vice versa.

but what DOESN'T happen is a bucnh of bullshit bickering and fights for supreme power or "whos right"

its 50-50 no 70-30 or 80-20.

I don't answer to her, and she doesn't answer to me.

its symphonic.

face it, control freak, bitch-ass wives suck, and some of you have them and are in denial.

"honey is it okay if I go wheeling with my friends this weekend......pleeeeaaaseeeeeee?"

 

[Darky]

I am not sure about opinions from those that have their names in BLACK here. Divorcees learn.... at least most do IMHO.

I'll take advice from anyone who offers it, but I weigh what they say based on their past experience and what I can tell of current success (or lack thereof). My mom's a divorcee, but she left her first husband because she rushed into a marriage with an alcoholic. My in-laws are both divorced but also for good reason. I look at that, and I look at how successful their marriage is now, and I know they're advice is good. I hear people saying they got it all figured out after divorcing their first wives, and now they hold no accountability to anyone and well, sounds like a bunch of crap to me. I meant no personal attack on anyone by my comments, if you take a look at the post again, maybe you'll notice this little guy there at the end :spin1:. Just som good-natured ribbing. If you're really that defensive about it, then maybe there is something wrong in your life that you're trying to hide. No need to lash out at others.

No need to discuss even large expenditures? That's not a partnership. That's two people leading separate lives!

Amen to that dmillion!

 

[Darky]

its symphonic. (maybe you meant symbiotic? Two organisms living in harmony with each other each benefitting from the other...)

"honey is it okay if I go wheeling with my friends this weekend......pleeeeaaaseeeeeee?"

My wife never tells me no, she actually wants to go with me. As long as we got the money to afford the gas, but that's my decision. She asks me if we can afford it, I say yes or I say no, and she says ok. I agree that its the husbands responsibility to make the final decision, but as was said, you gotta ask your partner in this. If leading separate lives, in the same house, is working for you, I wish you the best of luck, but that's not how I choose to approach marriage. Maybe you got some control issues to take care of...being so afraid of being controlled by a wife that you jump and cry wolf when the thought of sharing responsibility is mentioned... now notice the smiley here to show I'm joking...don't be like Glenn...

 

[Roxtar]

its 50-50 no 70-30 or 80-20.

I'll take this a step farther. I don't believe a 50/50 works. 50/50 partnerships usually lead to chaos. I'm convinced there has to be a leader, as in a 51/49. Now, that leader has the responsibility to lead correctly. It's a monarchy, not a dictatorship. He needs to listen to the advice of his queen, heeding it when he feels it's correct, and all his decisions have to be made with the betterment of the family in mind. In other words I may want tires this month but my wife says the bill for littleTimmy's braces is comming next week. I do whats right for the family. I have no more patience for childish man-boys who put their own wants ahead of their family needs than I have for nadless men who allow their wives to rule them.

 

[BajaXJ92]

Christ we're at 7 pages now?

hasta hasta hasta hasta hasta hasta hasta hasta

 

[Roxtar]

Christ we're at 7 pages now?

hasta hasta hasta hasta hasta hasta hasta hasta

Wow, this could be the greatest hi-jack since the Brinks job.

 

[dmillion]

"I have no more patience for childish man-boys who put their own wants ahead of their family needs than I have for nadless men who allow their wives to rule them."

Well I can certainly agree with that. I really feel kind of sorry for the folks who don't understand the "partnership" part of a good marriage. Whether it's 50:50, 51:49, 60:40 or whatever is a minor nit-pick. The point is that in a partnership you work together as a unit. It's not "this is mine and that's her's and never the twain shall meet."

And let's remember that the original question was about buying a set of 35" tires. We're not talking about going out and buying a $200 torque wrench, or something like that. A complete set of 35" tires with mounting and balancing and taxes and such is going to run in the neighborhood of $1,100-$1,200. Now, maybe some of you are so rich that you can drop a grand without blinking an eye, but for me and my wife that is a LOT of money! That is not something I would even THINK about spending without talking to her first.

Why? Because our's truly is a partnership. We're not just leading separate lives in the same house.

Getting a little long here, but just in case the original poster is still reading this... You had a little miscommunication. That happens now and then in all marriages. You learned a lesson. Count yourself lucky. Next time you'll know how to be more clear with her when you're going to spend so much money. She'll get over it and so will you. Good luck in the future.

 

[Beezil]

don't you have YOUR OWN money?

or do you have to ask for an allowance?

I wouldn't buy a set of tires with my if WE couldn't afford it, but if I knew we could, I'd buy the fawkin things. It would be my decision with out any consequences, no fear. see where the "I's" and "we's" fall?

tell you wives to get thier own friends and hobbies.