RE 4.5" kit. Not so much because of the height, but because its a VERY complete kit that is solid and stable, best bang for the buck IMHO.. and it's a good platform to build more on later, which you will eventually want to do, whether or not you realize it now. The smaller kits (even 3.5") don't replace things that you really want to replace, like upper control arms, some brake lines, swaybar disconnects, etc.
32" tires, or 33's. 32's fit without trimming, but 33" tires are easy to find if you suddenly need a tire .. like say, in baja. It's just a very common size.
29 spline 8.25 with 4.56 gears and a no-slip locker. 4.56 gears for the front, newer axle shafts with 297 ujoints.
Rock rails, a small roofrack. done.
Pretty much you can do it in stages, in that order, and do it pretty cheaply. Guys here can sell you the lift for ~500-600 or so, maybe just a hair more.
I bought my 29 spline 8.25 for $300 with a no-slip locker and 4.56 gears in it. I sold it for the same price. Later I traded a dana 44 housing and $250 cash for a dana 44 with 4.88 gears and a detroit locker. If you are patient and friendly the deals will come. You can get 297 front axle shafts that come stock on any 97+ TJ/XJ for about $100 any day of the week.
It sounds like a lot, but you can piecemeal it overtime and get a solid rig. don't let the posted requirements for larger group runs intimidate you, when you have a group of 12-40 rigs, one person breaking down means 30 standing around waiting for it to be fixed, so those runs often have very high "requirements". You can do your lift, find some 32" tires, run that way. Down the road you can buy a better rear end, run that. Down the road you can re-gear the rear end, and keep running - you'll get a lot of gas mileage back. A month or two later, re-gear the front end to match so you can run in four wheel drive again. Later add a no-slip or Aussie locker to the rear. Chances are until then, you won't know your rig well enough to really need a locker.
-C
