Life advice...

[boostleak]

Oh, yeah - 6'8", 190? Does he have to stay indoors on windy days?

 

[CherBear]

Oh, yeah - 6'8", 190? Does he have to stay indoors on windy days?

My nick name for him is "Mr Maplewood"

 

[AIbandit]

drink water

 

[CherBear]

drink water

Best advice ive gotten all day...

 

[RTicUL8]

"Always keep condoms in your car."




And here's why, for those of you that don't know...

 

[superdave]

Look, you have to decide what you want from her. If you want a relationship and she doesn't, then nothing you do will get you anywhere. If you just want her to be happy, then stick by her as a friend and help all you can. Be there to listen and offer whatever help she asks for. Like has been said, nothing will get better until she WANTS it to and actually DOES something to get the ball rolling. You must decide if she is worth it to you for what you may or may not get out of it.

 

[buzzbombxj]

Have you ever watched "DEXTER" on TV. Great show with some good moral advice for people in your situation.

Exactly, just kill him and sink his body in the harbor!

I actually went through something similar a few years ago; a chick I had dated in high school was going out with this dude who liked to beat her up. He also thought it was cool to call me up and tell he that if he ever found/ saw me he would kill me. I tried to convince her to dump him, that people shouldn’t have to put up with all that and blah blah blah, she never listened, and stopped talking to me. Just recently, I found out she dumped his ass and is no going out with a friend of mine who is cool. What I’m saying is, don’t be afraid to do what you think is right, but don’t be afraid to cut your losses either, cause people won’t change unless they want to

 

[Starboard M]

I know my college has councilors for this type of stuff. Not sure what you could do, especially since she doesnt seem to care. Might be worth a shot to go in and talk with them about the situation. If anything, just to help yourself.

Does she have a roommate that you can talk to? Close friends?

Other then that, walk away. As cool as it would be to be that knight in shining armor that rescues the princes, it wont happen.

 

[BIGWOODY]

There is no stopping a drug addict....same thing goes for this.

 

[REVROK]

Sounds like her other male friends have done what my first choice would be... #2 would be to go to school authorities and #3 walk away... unfortunately this is a sad and common story.

 

[CherBear]

Today I told her that I realized I couldnt change her mind, but to keep herself safe and i was just down the street if she needed me.

Im trying to just stay out of it now.

Thanks for the advice naxja.

 

[Darky]

If he's threatening you, you could probably say something to campus security or the police. I was friends with a girl who had a drug addicted, abusive boyfriend. I tried to convince her to leave him, tried to be the guy she could trust. hings were fairly intimate with us...nothing too far, but most people thought we were dating. It took him throwing her through a glass table before she finally left him. And guess what, she found another abusive drug addict to date and then eventually marry. And divorce. Shortly after the second guy, I cut her out, and I haven't missed her since. I found myself a girl who actually cared as much as the other one said she did, and the difference was night and day. Instead of constantly pining over some chick that you don't have a chance with, trying to figure ways to be with her, "Oh, if she could only see!" crap, I'm happily married to a woman who truly does think the world of me and I never look back.

Moral of the story? Quit chasing the stupid chick that likes getting beat up, find yourself a good woman, date her, and be happy. The one you're "in love" with now will only move to another craphead of a boyfriend and you'll be crushed thinking you finally got her away from this other guy.

 

[Brad M.]

"Always keep condoms in your car."




And here's why, for those of you that don't know...

Awesome.

 

[msrorysddad]

explain the way you feel, seems you did. Then walk away. A woman's heart is the hardest rock on this earth.

 

[Ghost]

There is no stopping a drug addict....same thing goes for this.

Wow, Look what the cat drug in!

 

[ECKSJAY]

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Walk away. Period.

as much as I hate to agree, I concur. There's nothing you can do to help someone who won't help their self.

x a million. You're going to get caught up in everything. Not a good idea.

How about advice on things i could simply tell her?

I cant stand to just do nothing, but I really am not in the position to live someone elses life for them.

O great, now he is sending me mean text messages. awesome.

Someone nominate this guy.

 

[Deadwood]

Today I told her that I realized I couldnt change her mind, but to keep herself safe and i was just down the street if she needed me.

Im trying to just stay out of it now.

Thanks for the advice naxja.

Obviously you aren't staying out of this. Other than calling the cops when you are aware of a fight there is nothing you can do.

She will suck you deeper into this crazy situation.
She may come to you to save her.
She is not mentally/emotionally stable as she allows herself to be continually abused. She needs help but only she can help herself.
She is not mentally/emotionally available to enter a relationship with you until she gets counseling and develops some self esteem - which will take YEARS.

Run son....run for your life. She may ruin your life or worse - the boyfriend may end your life when you get involved....but it sounds like you are already involved....STAY AWAY...I speak from experience.

 

[BIGWOODY]

Wow, Look what the cat drug in!

I troll from time to time...haven't forgotten my roots.

 

[CherBear]

Ok, here is the deal.
I am no longer going to tell her to break up with her boyfriend.
I am no longer going to pursue romantic interests with her.
How ever I am going to remain friends with her.

And it seems like some of you feel like she is just stuck in a bad boyfriend rut. I dont feel like that was the case, her last two boyfriends were very nice upstanding people. They were the kind of guys you would let your sister date.
It just seems like this boyfriend really sucks compared to the others...

 

[Darky]

You forgot #4: You will continue to get all bent out of shape and stressed after every time she gets beat by him. In the back of your head you will always be wondering, were they right? Do I make the boyfriend jealous (seeing as to how I am interested in her romantically)? Is that part of the problem?
The same feelings you have right now regarding her and the situation will still be there. But you go ahead, have fun. Maybe one day her boyfriend will see one of your "flirty" lunches and fly off the handle and put her in the hospital.

Be careful.