So I was messing around looking at my past messages in facebook when I came across a short story that I came up with on the cuff and sent to a friend a while back. I had totally forgotten about it until I re-read it and wow...I figured I'd share.
"So, Doc Brown drops in on me in his DeLorean and tells me we have to go back to the future because there's a problem with my kids. I get excited and ask him "I have kids?! Who did I marry?" He tells me that I married Fresca the sole daughter to the creator of the drink Fresca, but that soon ended in divorce since I had fell in love with Root Beer. Broken hearted and lonely, I adopted 7 children. I again get excited and ask him how much money I have since I was able to afford adopting 7 children. Turns out I took half of Fresca's money in the divorce and adopted the kids. Soon after, I blew all the money on ferris wheel rides and cocoanuts. But, since I had already adopted the kids, they were mine. So, I had to ask their ages. All of them were 12. Why would I adopt seven 12 year old children?! Because you can only adopt children 12 and older in Rhode Island. So, I live in Rhode Island? No, I live in New Hawaii. Great!! New Hawaii...sounds nice. But wait, what happened to the first Hawaii?! It's still there but after the New Madrid fault hit the big one in 2019, New Hawaii was built on the ruins of Bourbon, IN. So, I ask Doc to get back on topic of what is wrong with my children when I wake up on my porch swing. Then I realize that before I fell asleep, I didn't have a porch swing..."
edit: Also found this.
"In all my years of seeing other guy's boxers, I've seen many guys wearing the same patterns and brands of shorts. With every woman I have been intimate with long enough to actually see and remember her panties, none of them have had a similar pair. How the fawk does this happen?!
Some would say that women care more about this than men do. But, the fact remains that I have seen hundreds of pairs of panties and have yet to see duplicates."
