Do I intimidate you all?

[riverfever]

That's right. I had my formal evaluation at work today and was told that I need to, "Work to improve my first impressions and how I communicate with others and practice being less intimidating". The principals recommendation was for me to read a book on effective communication (he even gave me a copy). He had good things to say about the book but I wanted to ask him if it came with a knife and if so, was it the one he used to cut off his nuts but I thought that might be intimidating. I taught four years at a juvenile facility and am now in year four at public schools. Obviously, public schools are a joke (stress-wise) compared to what I've known and Heather says I am mellower now than she's ever known me to be in 5 years. I get bored at work and sometimes wish for a kid to misbehave. In 8 years, I've always had stellar job reviews that I read more than once. I threw this one away when I got back to my classroom. Those that know me...am I intimidating? I know you don't work with me but lets just say in general.

I'm trying to take this with a grain of salt b/c this is the most unorganized school district I have ever worked with. Administration is completely non-confrontational and the message I'm getting is that stating a professional opinion is deemed theatening.

I'd provide more details of what I consider professional opinions or examples of non-confrontational behaviors on administrations part but I hate to take that public where district officials might gain access to it. Paranoid...yes. But I don't trust anyone up here.

 

[DrMoab]

You scare me to death...all the way over the mountain here in Utah.

 

[GSequoia]

Did you show them the famous picture?

I found that intimidating!

 

[YELLAHEEP]

Chris, are you kidding me? What, all 110 lbs of you? Wet paper bag? Yeah probably, but a dry one? No friggin way.

Seriously though, I dunno how we could objectively give you an answer to that since I don't think any of us have seen you in your work environment - since that seems to be where the critique is based from.

Outside of the school, no dude - you're the farthest thing from intimidating. I can tell you're a passionate person, driven by your desire for personal perfection, but you don't seem obsessed with it. You're a very intelligent guy and many times, someone who speaks well, is focused, and dedicated can seem intimidating. Maybe that's where it's coming from?

In my line of work, we have newbie cops all the time and are usually stuck on weekend graveyard shifts. Sometimes they get on a day shift before they get to bid for shifts for the next year and work with the senior cops. I've seen quite alot of what I'd call "insecure" cops when the newbie is around. Newbies are always by the book, wanna be right, wanna be aggressive, wanna show some stats for their work - get results. The senior cops (I call 'em R.O.D.'s = retired on duty) feel threatened by the newbies because they disrupt the low-key flow they've created amongst themselves. Not uncommon for a Dayshift supervisor to pull a newbie aside and tell 'em to chill out and wait for their new assignment with the younger cops to do the real job.

Sound kinda like your situation? I know you've mentioned your frustration with some of the higher-ups in the district where your school safety issues were concerned.... :dunno:

 

[planefixer]

You've got me shaking in my boots, Nancy.

In all seriousness though.......

From some of our conversations about the school I think you're the only one that doesn't have their head up their ass.You seem to have the right approach when dealing with the students and parents and for the review to say you're intimidating is laughable (no offense meant).Dont worry about it- summer is here.

 

[Hypoid]

Hmmm, maybe I don't count because one of my own kids introduces me as "tall, dark, and scary".

Based on the one time I met you in person, I have to say the picture and the words don't match. All 110 lb. jokes aside, you are what...around 6' tall, clean cut, lean? When some people have to crane their head back just to make eye contact, that alone is intimidating. When that includes a to-the-point comment that may be critical, it's even more intimidating. It's a tall thing; sometimes it's good, sometimes it's an impediment. Sometimes you have to go out of your way to put people at ease.

Then there is the clientele: If you remember, I'm a step-dad to special needs kids. We've sat through individual therapy, family therapy, and therapy for our therapy. I have learned quite a lot about being "indirectly" effective. I have learned it can take a lot of hearts and flowers to woo some people into listening to what you say. I have learned to chew on my tounge more as well. That's not to discount any foundation I had when I came into this family, but as a guy, I can't learn enough about relating to others any more than I can have enough tools in my workshop. There is always more, better, or that one special resource that pays for itself the only time you use it.

Another thing I've learned working with the handicapped: Even a total loon can see what we obviously overlook. It's good that you question this perception other people have of you. Justified or not, the perception others have can limit or enhance your effectiveness. The bad review is the one you need to study.

Past that, I feel I'm preaching to the choir. :lecture: Good luck!

 

[RTicUL8]

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How to Win Friends and Influence People
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The Fly Fisherman's Guide to the Meaning of Life:
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[DaJudge]

Incompetent and insecure people are easily intimidated. If the people you work for are as you say this is probably the root of the problem. They have no coping mechanism for dealing with someone with definite opinions.

 

[RTicUL8]

To fit into the public school teacher mold:

* Hide your Jeep and drive a Subaru or VW to work (with lots of left-sided bumper stickers).

* Go around the halls mumbling about how warm it is outside - blame it on global warming.

* Do what Boulder High does: Tell kids that it's okay to experiment with sex and drugs.

* Wear a "Karl Marx Is Cool" lapel pin.

* Don't wear underwear.

 

[riverfever]

To fit into the public school teacher mold:

* Hide your Jeep and drive a Subaru or VW to work (with lots of left-sided bumper stickers).

* Go around the halls mumbling about how warm it is outside - blame it on global warming.

* Do what Boulder High does: Tell kids that it's okay to experiment with sex and drugs.

* Wear a "Karl Marx Is Cool" lapel pin.

* Don't wear underwear.

One of the issues up here is that the district is ultra conservative. With regard to education, I am very liberal however I don't have room for any political stickers what with all the trout ones taking up space. I swear they're about ten years behind the ball from where I've worked with their techniques and philosophies and yet they think they're cutting edge. Another major issue is that the parents/community run the school.

I suppose I could go commando but then that rules out my infamous pose that Sequoia already has nightmares of. :laugh:

 

[xjmatt]

I've never met you but the situation sounds similar to a previous job of mine that I left for those reasons.

I've been complimented on my ability to talk to people and not come off as a dick even if they've got it coming, but I'm also not afraid to tell you what I think. Turns out a particular co worker felt threatened by me (I'm not an imposing person so guessing it's more a mental threatening) so he started bad mouthing me to the boss, telling him I was loosing and stealing stuff. Boss started to make my life a PITA and I'll admit I started to get a short temper with my co workers because of it all but that also told me it was time to move on. Best decision I ever made.

If your co-workers feel threatened by you and you're just being honest and driect then, at least in my opinion, it's time to start thinking about your employer.

 

[RTicUL8]

I suppose I could go commando but then that rules out my infamous pose that Sequoia already has nightmares of. :laugh:

Why don't you take a picture of yourself hugging the north pole - or santa - or both.

(note: You won't get that statement if you aren't from the area. )

 

[Rev Den]

Most of the people on this board scare me.



Rev

 

[riverfever]

Well I had a long discussion with one of the admministrators this afternoon about my evaluation. I explained my concerns but we didn't see eye to eye in the end. I think it's silly that there are teachers that have a preconceived notion about me when they've never actually worked with me and know the lengths I will go to in order to handle behavior problems, pissed off parents, and legal paper work. I would say I am intense at work simply b/c in my experience, the student population that I typically deal with responds well to that type of structure and consistency. Hell...I think all children do. I'm not at work to make friends but to establish and maintain a safe learning environment for all students. There are bible thumpers, and touchy feely people in the building and I don't necessarily share their views or attitudes but I don't have to. Isn't that differentiation of teachers and teaching styles what makes public education?

For another staff member to feel intimidated (which I still feel is a strong word) leads me to believe that they are very insecure. She agreed but still felt it was in the eval for me to be aware of it. It should have stated "be aware" and not "work on". The wording they used implies, to me, that what I do is unacceptable or inappropriate at best. But when I talk about going to another district where I fit in more, then the conversation shifts to how much I bring to the building.

Really not trying to be a baby just see something wierd in this. I know that this district, and probably Colorado, is not the place for me, profesionally. A bit disappointed that I moved my naive a$$ 900 miles and left a damn good program to work for Ringling Bros. Now I'm trying to figure out how the heck to fix it.

 

[JEONLYEP]

To fit into the public school teacher mold:

* Hide your Jeep and drive a Subaru or VW to work (with lots of left-sided bumper stickers).

* Go around the halls mumbling about how warm it is outside - blame it on global warming.

* Do what Boulder High does: Tell kids that it's okay to experiment with sex and drugs.

* Wear a "Karl Marx Is Cool" lapel pin.

* Don't wear underwear.

On your scale I only score a 1 out of 5!?!?

What's that mean?​

 

[YELLAHEEP]

Really not trying to be a baby just see something wierd in this. I know that this district, and probably Colorado, is not the place for me, profesionally. A bit disappointed that I moved my naive a$$ 900 miles and left a damn good program to work for Ringling Bros. Now I'm trying to figure out how the heck to fix it.

Now YOU'RE jumping to conclusions and misconceptions. This isn't an entire Colorado thing, just a small mountain community thing. I can guarantee there are other areas in the state where you'd probably fit right in. Mountain folk are odd and there ain't no changin' them. Your naive a$$ might be best to speak to others in the state in your profession and get a feel for what's happening outside of Woodland Park and that school district.

Knot snapped. Quitcherwhining.

 

[old_man]

A bit disappointed that I moved my naive a$$ 900 miles and left a damn good program to work for Ringling Bros.

I say BS. You moved 900 miles to FISH.

 

[riverfever]

Good points Troy.

We've been looking into other bigger areas like Glenwood Springs to see if things are different. Colorado Springs is pretty similar and, outside of the big cities, there's not a whole lot of alternative programming here. That's where a lot of my frustration is and where my comment came from. My job makes that a pretty key thing to have. There are states that spend a lot more money on that type of programming so that even small communities have it as a resource. Denver isn't an option for us b/c I'd have to give up my dog.

Tom...you are wise beyond your years.

 

[XJumpmaster]

Don't come to Utah then! Seriously, our teachers put up with more sh!t from the parents and local religion and can't teach what is important. And they only get half the pay with twice the class size! Been a major issue here for many years. Kinda funny since BYU puts out more education majors than any other university in the nation.

Rant over. Good luck in finding your niche!

 

[jrsxj98]

Stop it. you just so intimidating...........