THE PRESIDENTS LATEST SPEECH

[GreenbeltXJ]

THIS IS AN EMAIL I GOT TODAY

Subject: The Speech George Bush Should Give Next

The speech George Bush should give next.


This would be a wonderful dream come true!.

My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of Iraq regime has
been
completed.

Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war,
our
mission in Iraq is complete.

This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American
forces from Iraq . This action will be complete within 30 days. It is
now to
begin the reckoning.

Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of
countries
which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is
short
The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are some of
the
countries listed there.

The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the
world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be
distributing
copies of both lists later this evening.

Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to
those
nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved
during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the
Iraqi
war.

The American people are no longer going to pour money into third
world
Hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.

Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France.

In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this
money
toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home. On
that
note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt
you
down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the
earth.

Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France, or maybe
China.

I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with
France,
Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are
retiring
from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.

I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many
UN
diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid
parking
tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and
crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You
creeps
have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow
or
watch your precious Benzes, Beamers and limos be turned over to some of
the
finest chop shops in the world. I love New York.

A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2 Since we are
likely
to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not
pissing us off for a change.

Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and his entire corrupt
government
need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple extra tank and
infantry
divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put 'em? Yep,
border
security. So start doing something with your oil.

Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty -
starting now. We are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, we'll
be
drilling for oil in Alaska - which will take care of this country's
oil
needs for decades to come.

If you're an environmentalist who opposes this decision, I refer you
to
List 2 above: pick a country and move there. They care.

It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own
citizens.
Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, "darn
tootin."
Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the
world
has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the
planet.
It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to eliminate
homelessness in America. It is time to eliminate World Cup Soccer from
America. To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks guys. We owe
you
and we won't forget.

To the nations on List 2, a final thought: You might want to learn
to
speak Arabic. God bless America. Thank you and good night.

(Please forward this to at least ten friends; let's get this to every
USA
computer!)

GOD BLESS AMERICA

Make it a great day. Say a small prayer for our military away from
home.

Chris
atriot:

 

[Blaine B.]

Damn awesome, that would be great. That's what I've been thinking for such a long while. Hunger exists in America and yet there are always missions and such in other countries. It doesn't make sense alot of times......and yea that too, about all of the aid that goes to those countries which basically flip us the bird but cry on their knees when something bad happens over there.

Currahee!

 

[XJPhoenix]

Look, I'm all for patriotism; but your comments an Canada crossed the line.

There are Canadians are dying in their effort to help Americans in Afghanistan.

There are folks on here who've lost loved ones to this war, and you just slapped them in the face.

 

[RichP]

Look, I'm all for patriotism; but your comments an Canada crossed the line.

There are Canadians are dying in their effort to help Americans in Afghanistan.

There are folks on here who've lost loved ones to this war, and you just slapped them in the face.

I agree, canada is the closest thing to another state we have, cept fo the french section of montreal, speaks the language though they do talk it funny and at least they drive on the correct side of the road. Personally I have never really seen a reason for having a manned border there.

From a retired military member, thanks to canada, as well as the other 48 countries including iceland who supported and supplied manpower... I find it interesting the Mongolia actually increased their troop strength... I gotta study my geo a bit, I thought mongolia was part of china govt wise...

 

[Matthew Currie]

So let's see, we have the idea that no nation can be a friend to us unless they endorse every policy decision we make, even when it's wrong? that's great foreign policy all right.

The idea that if you disapprove of decisions such as Alaskan oil drilling you should leave the country?

Let's see some truthful research to tell us what effect Alaskan drilling would have on our oil needs.

Doesn't anybody writing these things actually think?

And GWB and his fellows have made it abundantly clear that they do not believe that the government should be responsible for curing the social problems of this country. It's at the core of their philosophy, so whether you like or dislike the sentiments expressed in this silly screed, you're naive if you think an end to war or foreign aid will result in a concerted effort to erase poverty and homelessness, etc. Opportunities for this have been squandered time and again.

 

[RichP]

Yea, the oil thing is funny, like if exxon drills for oil in alaska we're automatically gonna get it for a good price LOL, like they are not going to put it on the market and get best $ per barrell.

 

[seanyb505]

Funny, but impractical. Im pretty sure every aspect of that can be argued to the point where your pissing off someone (XJPhoenix for example) And then theres going to be someone who doesnt want them to be pissed off and whatever subject it was will not change. I think this is like one of those times you wish you could go back in time. It would be nice, but is impossible.

:guitar: :canada: My dad lives there, Ive never had a problem with Canada, but it was funny to see Tampa Bay beat Calgary in the Stanley Cup a couple years ago.

 

[XJ Dreamin']

Bon chance, mes amis.

SPOBI. G-dub has no idea what that means, or even what language it is. He'd never be able to pronounce it.

 

[alsodon]

...It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to eliminate
homelessness in America. It is time to eliminate World Cup Soccer from
America...
atriot:

I love it when someone is able to cut to the chase and identify the pressing issues facing our generation.

 

[rockwerks]

whats wrong with wc soccer

 

[axe609]

wow!!! i suggest you go to school for a bit. maybe read a book without drawings of men in tights or at least read the comic not just drool over the men in the tights.

that was just the kind of dribble that gives americans a bad rep in so many countries.

i fight for this country and even for you.

 

[Dookie]

So let's see, we have the idea that no nation can be a friend to us unless they endorse every policy decision we make, even when it's wrong? that's great foreign policy all right.

The idea that if you disapprove of decisions such as Alaskan oil drilling you should leave the country?

Let's see some truthful research to tell us what effect Alaskan drilling would have on our oil needs.

Doesn't anybody writing these things actually think?

And GWB and his fellows have made it abundantly clear that they do not believe that the government should be responsible for curing the social problems of this country. It's at the core of their philosophy, so whether you like or dislike the sentiments expressed in this silly screed, you're naive if you think an end to war or foreign aid will result in a concerted effort to erase poverty and homelessness, etc. Opportunities for this have been squandered time and again.

times ELEVENTY BILLION. :yelclap:

 

[Boatwrench]

Look, I'm all for patriotism; but your comments an Canada crossed the line.

There are Canadians are dying in their effort to help Americans in Afghanistan.

There are folks on here who've lost loved ones to this war, and you just slapped them in the face.

This was written by someone with false bravado and probably (hopefully) be meant tongue in cheek. Although in the two dimensional world of the internet it is easy to mis interpret what was written, and I can understand your being upset, please accept it as tongue and cheek and not be so thinned skin (check the PC thread).

I'll never forget Canadian contributions to my country on the on-going war on terror.

It was Canadian diplomats that risked their lives to save Americans from Khomeni by hiding them in the Canadian Consulate in Tehran in 1979 and then secreting them out of Iran almost a year later.

On 9/11, the Canadians, and I do not believe it was begrudgingly, opened the homes to stranded airline passengers when the USA FAA ordered all planes to be grounded.

In Afghanistan, US pilots mistakenly took a Canadian patrol for Taliban fighters and opened fire, killing several in this fratricide incident. Pretty much not covered in US press.

But like I said, the original author of this piece was probably writing it for the humorous effect. Same type of yahoos writing about France whom this country owes its existence to, supporting our revolution on an IOU.

Tom

 

[GreenbeltXJ]

This was written by someone with false bravado and probably (hopefully) be meant tongue in cheek. Although in the two dimensional world of the internet it is easy to mis interpret what was written, and I can understand your being upset, please accept it as tongue and cheek and not be so thinned skin (check the PC thread).

I'll never forget Canadian contributions to my country on the on-going war on terror.

It was Canadian diplomats that risked their lives to save Americans from Khomeni by hiding them in the Canadian Consulate in Tehran in 1979 and then secreting them out of Iran almost a year later.

On 9/11, the Canadians, and I do not believe it was begrudgingly, opened the homes to stranded airline passengers when the USA FAA ordered all planes to be grounded.

In Afghanistan, US pilots mistakenly took a Canadian patrol for Taliban fighters and opened fire, killing several in this fratricide incident. Pretty much not covered in US press.

But like I said, the original author of this piece was probably writing it for the humorous effect. Same type of yahoos writing about France whom this country owes its existence to, supporting our revolution on an IOU.

Tom

X2
i think who ever wrote thise wast trying to get some truth in but also comical relief? not sure, oh andy another thing i did not write this, was an e-mail i got and i thought i would share it on here for those that will catch the half that is funny and will catch the little bit of truth in it, and most importantly wouldn't freak out or get there panties in a bunch when they read it, i know it easy to mis-understand something when you read it on the internet. it was more of a joke to enlighten you day than anything.

and i do like canada.

 

[Blaine B.]

So let's see, we have the idea that no nation can be a friend to us unless they endorse every policy decision we make, even when it's wrong? that's great foreign policy all right.

The idea that if you disapprove of decisions such as Alaskan oil drilling you should leave the country?

Let's see some truthful research to tell us what effect Alaskan drilling would have on our oil needs.

Doesn't anybody writing these things actually think?

And GWB and his fellows have made it abundantly clear that they do not believe that the government should be responsible for curing the social problems of this country. It's at the core of their philosophy, so whether you like or dislike the sentiments expressed in this silly screed, you're naive if you think an end to war or foreign aid will result in a concerted effort to erase poverty and homelessness, etc. Opportunities for this have been squandered time and again.

Yer either with us, or against us.

But yeah the thing about Canada......they were in Afghanistan, I at least know that. I believe they were deployed to Iraq as well. Someone fill us in on Canada's participation and why the comment about canada in the speech may relate somehow? I'm really not sure.

 

[Brad M.]

So let's see, we have the idea that no nation can be a friend to us unless they endorse every policy decision we make, even when it's wrong? that's great foreign policy all right.

The idea that if you disapprove of decisions such as Alaskan oil drilling you should leave the country?

Let's see some truthful research to tell us what effect Alaskan drilling would have on our oil needs.

Doesn't anybody writing these things actually think?

And GWB and his fellows have made it abundantly clear that they do not believe that the government should be responsible for curing the social problems of this country. It's at the core of their philosophy, so whether you like or dislike the sentiments expressed in this silly screed, you're naive if you think an end to war or foreign aid will result in a concerted effort to erase poverty and homelessness, etc. Opportunities for this have been squandered time and again.

Seems the humor is lost on you?

 

[HilltopXJ]

Elaborate more on this please. Seems to be a 2 way street to me.

France whom this country owes its existence to, supporting our revolution on an IOU.

 

[IXNAYXJ]

X2
i think who ever wrote thise wast trying to get some truth in but also comical relief? not sure, oh andy another thing i did not write this, was an e-mail i got and i thought i would share it on here for those that will catch the half that is funny and will catch the little bit of truth in it, and most importantly wouldn't freak out or get there panties in a bunch when they read it, i know it easy to mis-understand something when you read it on the internet. it was more of a joke to enlighten you day than anything.

and i do like canada.

That seems to sum it up nicely.

-----Matt-----

 

[Blaine B.]

Elaborate more on this please. Seems to be a 2 way street to me.

Um without our help France would be Germany......so I think we're even?

 

[IXNAYXJ]

Um without our help France would be Germany, twice......so I think we're even?

There, that's better.

-----Matt-----