I find it ****ING HILARIOUS that everyone is doing it around the same time but I'm going to get rid of all my cool garbage that I own. Yup me too. I wouldn't even consider telling you guys but I'd just like to show you all how it's done.
Some of my cool shit that I've stocked up is already starting to go that I put aside for the Honcho. Once the 60 is gone I've gotta clean off some stuff I hid in my Mom's apartment one day when she's out of the house. This is step 1.
Within the next year I'll move out, to an apartment. Good chance it will be in the city, but who cares. So I won't be able to bring a big lathe and my tig welder and other shit with me and it doesn't make sense to leave it at my dad's shop. I have to constantly oil the ****ing lathe like once a month just to let it sit there. So all the cool guy tools need to be sold, within a year. This is step 2.
Honcho. This dump of shit has to go. If it was even halfway respectably built I could keep it and wheel it. Or, if it was worth more than $12.35 I could sell it to some asshole. But let's be real. There's no way I'm selling this thing to some dickhead who's going to try and turn it into some respectable piece of lame functional garbage. So at some point I have to ratchet strap a rusty old whatever gas tank to it to get it running good enough to ****ing wreck it. Bring it wheeling or just drive it square into a brick wall then take off the tires and scrap it. Cut the grille into pieces and take a picture of my dick with it all chopped up in the background and post it on Ifjsa. This is step 3.
Step 4 mother****ers what am I gonna do!? Living in some gaytown apartment with no cool shit!? NAH KID. I mean, I'll probably spend a good chunk or that cash I make on *** clothes and homo shoes. Maybe a new queer hat. But here's what I'm thinking. I'm gonna buy ALL THE SAME SHIT, in *** sized versions. Boom, mini mill, mini lathe, inverter welder, SUZUKI ****ING SAMURAI. I'm just gonna live with that shit, you guys can go all full gay and have no cool shit but I'll ****ing sleep with a lathe underneath my pillow in some shithole apartment with metal shaving on the floor ****ing ken stein living conditions shit if I have to. **** it. Just kidding I'm not gonna live like ken I'll sweep the floors, but you get the idea.
CLIFFNOTES
Sell cool shit
Smash my prized possession
*** out my wardrobe
Buy gay shit
Apartment machine shop?
Good ideas all around
I'm a genius
Marry DB Dave
Die