- Location
- Billings MT/Rapid City SD
Jump This said:
So what excatly is he not getting? The writing course should be cake but you do have to show up, do the assignments, etc. Was there another area he's hainvg problems with?
struggle as a freshman...
- Thread starter Jump This
- Start date
So what excatly is he not getting? The writing course should be cake but you do have to show up, do the assignments, etc. Was there another area he's hainvg problems with?
XJ_Vikings
NAXJA Forum User
- Location
- Simsbury, CT
I certanily wasnt validictorian of my high school and im not having a problem with engineering, for one reason: I switched majors 3 semesters in. I was struggling with simple general classes and ended up with a 2.bad GPA. Just about all my friends wish they could take freshman year over again. I dont think engineering is your sons problem, he clearly sounds smart, but the distractions that come along with moving away from home and being surrounded with beer and video games probably are. If i were to take the classes i took last year my freshman year i dont think i would have had over a 1.0 GPA, but after a couple years of wising up and realizing how important this really is im on the deans list, and as i said i deffinatly wasnt a validictorian. My suggestion, if it is really as bad as you make it sound, would be to suggest taking a year off. Let him work for a year, maybe even just a semester. This will give him time to mature and also see what it would be like working at a dead end job the rest of his life. I think it will also give him a better work ethic which is very very necessary in engineering. Hope that helps
Begster
NAXJA Forum User
- Location
- Cape Cod/Boston, Mass
I currently am in Engineering freshman too at Northeastern University, and I can understand where he is coming from. I was itching to get out of my house, so I could be on my own and not have my parents all over me. I was a good student in high school, 28 of 466, although I think my final rank improved a couple.
I can't stand work, I get frustrated a lot and just don't want to do the work. I find that I just don't have the drive to my work, like I get back to my dorm and just don't want to watch tv, play games, hang out with friends, or just do nothing, come on my computer.
I can understand where he is coming from, I have felt tons of pressure and anxiety at times and just didn't think I could get through things. I was extremely happy at the beginning of the semester because I was in a new group of friends, I was doing pretty good, the scenery was different. Then I got mono (which didn't really affect much except I never went out because of it), the people I was friends with would started to hang out more with themselves than with me, etc. And I couldn't wait to get home for Christmas, and see all my old friends. So time comes and I get home, then all my old friends don't call me up, and now I'm back up here, and things are good again, I'm hoping the semester will stay like this.
Tell him to do his work, make sure he goes to the library or something, that is where I'll actually be motivated some to do work, and also if I get into a group with other people I'll try to study more etc.
And I have thought about this myself, maybe college just isn't his thing. I have doubts about college myself, and I actually enjoy doing manual labor like building things etc rather than trying to do brain problems and all of this most of the time.
I think the best you can do would be supportive of him, and tell him that your always there for him and you are proud of everything he has done so far. Also that you respect his decisions, and you might have to think that if college really isn't his thing, then stayin there might be hell for him. Tell him things could get better and for him to try to stick it out for a while, but if in the end its not do able, you have his back. I suggest this because my parents have done the same for me and told me this and it releives some stress knowing that I'm in college for myself, and I'm not going because my parents have expectations or its required that I go because they think its best.
I can't stand work, I get frustrated a lot and just don't want to do the work. I find that I just don't have the drive to my work, like I get back to my dorm and just don't want to watch tv, play games, hang out with friends, or just do nothing, come on my computer.
I can understand where he is coming from, I have felt tons of pressure and anxiety at times and just didn't think I could get through things. I was extremely happy at the beginning of the semester because I was in a new group of friends, I was doing pretty good, the scenery was different. Then I got mono (which didn't really affect much except I never went out because of it), the people I was friends with would started to hang out more with themselves than with me, etc. And I couldn't wait to get home for Christmas, and see all my old friends. So time comes and I get home, then all my old friends don't call me up, and now I'm back up here, and things are good again, I'm hoping the semester will stay like this.
Tell him to do his work, make sure he goes to the library or something, that is where I'll actually be motivated some to do work, and also if I get into a group with other people I'll try to study more etc.
And I have thought about this myself, maybe college just isn't his thing. I have doubts about college myself, and I actually enjoy doing manual labor like building things etc rather than trying to do brain problems and all of this most of the time.
I think the best you can do would be supportive of him, and tell him that your always there for him and you are proud of everything he has done so far. Also that you respect his decisions, and you might have to think that if college really isn't his thing, then stayin there might be hell for him. Tell him things could get better and for him to try to stick it out for a while, but if in the end its not do able, you have his back. I suggest this because my parents have done the same for me and told me this and it releives some stress knowing that I'm in college for myself, and I'm not going because my parents have expectations or its required that I go because they think its best.
yellowxj
NAXJA Forum User
- Location
- Ocala, FL.
I went to college cause it was expected. I did well in high school and never really studied either. A bunch of things contributed to my doing poorly my first year...couldnt manage my money(my parents support was directly related to my academic performance), couldnt manage my time, couldnt manage my study time, couldnt manage my beer or women....just was not mature enough...luckily the first gulf war started while I was standing in my fraternity house living room...all the fraternity brothers said we would never go to war over that country...I went and joined the next day...4 years well spent learning what I didnt want to do, the military was really the most significant continuing educational event of my life, I still think everyone should spend atleast 2 years in....then after I got out I did really good in community college...poor money wise (thank you congress for screwing with the vet. college money(not passing the budget in time) and almost getting all the poorer vets kicked out of school.) .
Later I would take spring break or summer off and work, generally at the most horrible jobs one could find---washing out portapottys, delievering plumbing supplies(new guy gets the oldest truck w/o AC=sweating balls in Florida), installing commercial AC(always had to leave when the units were set), drilling wells(once again-low man on the totem pole gets the worst jobs), etc. etc. etc. That helped "inspire" me to do better at school.
And I never finished. Wound up fixing up cars (I would get access to clunker cars through my job driving tow trucks one summer) and selling them...eventually paying for more and more of my school bills (GI bill helped--not as much as the commercials make it sound though) until my father pointed out that my wife and I were doing pretty well with the cars and should go pro with that. So thats how I got into the used car business. 8 years in to that I've made enough (and lost enough hair) to go really in debt starting what I believe is my dream job...
So if he bounces away from college in his first year its not the end of the world. Dont let him wallow along barely making it for too long before you pull the plug. No sense in having $60k in student loans to repay while your out mowing grass after you leave college. No sense in having a low GPA that lands you on academic probation when you try to come back to college. I had one semester to get my GPA into an acceptable range when I went back to college...one semester to pull my 1.84 up so I was just on academic warning my next semester...no pressure there...managed to pull the next two semesters on the deans list.
6 classes away from my Business Admin. degree if I ever decide to go back.
Later I would take spring break or summer off and work, generally at the most horrible jobs one could find---washing out portapottys, delievering plumbing supplies(new guy gets the oldest truck w/o AC=sweating balls in Florida), installing commercial AC(always had to leave when the units were set), drilling wells(once again-low man on the totem pole gets the worst jobs), etc. etc. etc. That helped "inspire" me to do better at school.
And I never finished. Wound up fixing up cars (I would get access to clunker cars through my job driving tow trucks one summer) and selling them...eventually paying for more and more of my school bills (GI bill helped--not as much as the commercials make it sound though) until my father pointed out that my wife and I were doing pretty well with the cars and should go pro with that. So thats how I got into the used car business. 8 years in to that I've made enough (and lost enough hair) to go really in debt starting what I believe is my dream job...
So if he bounces away from college in his first year its not the end of the world. Dont let him wallow along barely making it for too long before you pull the plug. No sense in having $60k in student loans to repay while your out mowing grass after you leave college. No sense in having a low GPA that lands you on academic probation when you try to come back to college. I had one semester to get my GPA into an acceptable range when I went back to college...one semester to pull my 1.84 up so I was just on academic warning my next semester...no pressure there...managed to pull the next two semesters on the deans list.
6 classes away from my Business Admin. degree if I ever decide to go back.
Jump This
Just another minion!
- Location
- Borrego Springs Ca.
Thanks everyone!
The wife and I went on over to the campus last night to have dinner with the boy and talk about things. He has a plan. I think he could pull this one out.
I also told him about this thread and that he should check it out. (I also told him to post a reply but he hasn't done that yet :dunno
We do appreciate all the input. I'll keep you all posted on how well he does.
Thanks again.
Rick
The wife and I went on over to the campus last night to have dinner with the boy and talk about things. He has a plan. I think he could pull this one out.
I also told him about this thread and that he should check it out. (I also told him to post a reply but he hasn't done that yet :dunno
We do appreciate all the input. I'll keep you all posted on how well he does.
Thanks again.
Rick
- Location
- Harrisburg, NC
Good to hear he's got a battle plan Rick.
Let me know if i can help anymore.
Let me know if i can help anymore.
Jump This
Just another minion!
- Location
- Borrego Springs Ca.
Its time for an update!
My boy has just returned from taking his finals for the second sememster of classes.
As many of you have read he stuggled big time to make the adjustment from small town stud to big school newbie. He had gone so far as asking (almost pleading) to quit and come home. We had made an agreement prior to him starting his freshman year that the only item I required from him is that he completed his first year of college. So after many nights of long phone calls he figured he wouldn't be able to wiggle out of that agreement. He had been told that even if he failed each class he would still be obligated to continue (well, at least until they threw his ass out!)
Well, something clicked along the way....
He finished his first sememster with a 1.95 GPA and was put on academic probation...
His second semester he started spending a boat load of time studying. He did lighten his load (dropped some computer program class or something like it.) and when mid-terms came around...by gosh and by golly the little shit aced each and every one of them! I'm not kidding.
With finals coming he glued his ass to campus and worked and worked...he has already recieved his Chemisty final score. Its something like this, total possible score 160, average score 97. His score......<pause for dramatic effect>
137!! The 16th highest score out of a class of somewhere around 300
students.
He also hadto retake the bone head writting class and passed that final.
His Calc. class final was today, he said it was one tough test, but he is confident he did well.
Damn...he CAN do this. And let me tell you something else, this thread helped him. He read each and every post that you all wrote. He took it to heart.
And from the bottom of my heart (and my bank account) I thank all of you.
Rick R
:wstupid:
My boy has just returned from taking his finals for the second sememster of classes.
As many of you have read he stuggled big time to make the adjustment from small town stud to big school newbie. He had gone so far as asking (almost pleading) to quit and come home. We had made an agreement prior to him starting his freshman year that the only item I required from him is that he completed his first year of college. So after many nights of long phone calls he figured he wouldn't be able to wiggle out of that agreement. He had been told that even if he failed each class he would still be obligated to continue (well, at least until they threw his ass out!)
Well, something clicked along the way....
He finished his first sememster with a 1.95 GPA and was put on academic probation...
His second semester he started spending a boat load of time studying. He did lighten his load (dropped some computer program class or something like it.) and when mid-terms came around...by gosh and by golly the little shit aced each and every one of them! I'm not kidding.
With finals coming he glued his ass to campus and worked and worked...he has already recieved his Chemisty final score. Its something like this, total possible score 160, average score 97. His score......<pause for dramatic effect>
137!! The 16th highest score out of a class of somewhere around 300
students.
He also hadto retake the bone head writting class and passed that final.
His Calc. class final was today, he said it was one tough test, but he is confident he did well.
Damn...he CAN do this. And let me tell you something else, this thread helped him. He read each and every post that you all wrote. He took it to heart.
And from the bottom of my heart (and my bank account) I thank all of you.
Rick R
:wstupid:
swbooking
NAXJA Forum User
- Location
- Riverside/Running Springs, Ca
Man... Im glad to hear that he is doing good. I just had my Chem final today and have my Calc on Saturday. Tell him good job and i hope he likes college a little more and wants to stay. But remember its not all study! Theres some fun in it too! Good Job for starting this thread Rick.
-Allen
-Allen
XJ_Vikings
NAXJA Forum User
- Location
- Simsbury, CT
thats great to hear, i found with myself it just took something small to give me a little bit of confidence, and if you care enough that little bit can propell you for a while
tell him congrats and to keep at it
tell him congrats and to keep at it
- Location
- Harrisburg, NC
Man that's awesome! Glad things worked out good for him in the end. Glad we could help in some way.....always helps when others who are going through or who have already gone through the same thing can share their experience. Treat the kid to somethin nice, he deserves it!
Oh and 2nd semester finals already? We just had spring break two weeks ago...LOL. My finals aren't till the first week of May.
Oh and 2nd semester finals already? We just had spring break two weeks ago...LOL. My finals aren't till the first week of May.
motorcityxj
NAXJA Forum User
- Location
- detroit suburbs
ha ! great to hear.
Now he has no excuse not to succeed if he can turn it around like that. Its important to have a good all around college experience and join some clubs, play some intramural sports, MEET AS MANY HOT CHICS AS POSSIBLE (my recomendation is go to the rec center and play some co ed volleyball TRUST ME!!), meet some cool folks you wouldn't have met back home at Community college.
My recomendation is join a few study groups and keep the ball rolling.
Ohh and dont take that volleyball thing lightly. Learn to play if you dont know, and start playing! Im not kidding.:shhh:
I knew there was something wrong for a valedictorian to be doing poorly (even if he was a small school val) :yelclap:
Now he has no excuse not to succeed if he can turn it around like that. Its important to have a good all around college experience and join some clubs, play some intramural sports, MEET AS MANY HOT CHICS AS POSSIBLE (my recomendation is go to the rec center and play some co ed volleyball TRUST ME!!), meet some cool folks you wouldn't have met back home at Community college.
My recomendation is join a few study groups and keep the ball rolling.
Ohh and dont take that volleyball thing lightly. Learn to play if you dont know, and start playing! Im not kidding.:shhh:
I knew there was something wrong for a valedictorian to be doing poorly (even if he was a small school val) :yelclap:
TheWarWagon
NAXJA Forum User
- Location
- Ft. Worth, TX
Rick, I went to school for Journalism and English. Did pretty well for myself, if I do say so myself. I also struggled my first couple years. If your son needs any help, or whatever, just let me know. Just give me a ring, and I'd me more than willing to head down there and pick up chicks(er, help him). 
Fish'nCarz
NAXJA Forum User
- Location
- Victor, ID
That's great news! Now, does he have a job for the summer?
;^)
;^)
MXRethoret
NAXJA Forum User
- Location
- San Diego
Hey guys, this is Richard, Ricks son. I know this is an extremely late response to the thread but I wanted to let everyone know how appreciative I am for the words of advice that you passed on to myself through my dad. It meant a lot to me to hear that I wasn't the only one going through the hardships that my Freshman year subjected me to. I just wanted to let everyone know that the words of wisdom from college experience did not go overlooked. Believe it or not, it was some of the exact words that helped keep me from becoming another statistical dropout and for that I could not be more thankful.
I'm now going into my 3rd year now. I would be lying if I said that the result of how far I've come could not at least partly be owed to all of you. Again, thanks guys. You kick ass.
I'm now going into my 3rd year now. I would be lying if I said that the result of how far I've come could not at least partly be owed to all of you. Again, thanks guys. You kick ass.
swbooking
NAXJA Forum User
- Location
- Riverside/Running Springs, Ca
Nice man glad to hear it.
I have a Circuit Analysis final tomorrow morning and and a Math (Convergent and Divergence of Series, improp integrals, etc...) final tomorrow.
I love summer session... lol
Good luck and keep it up.
I have a Circuit Analysis final tomorrow morning and and a Math (Convergent and Divergence of Series, improp integrals, etc...) final tomorrow.
I love summer session... lol
Good luck and keep it up.
- Location
- NC Sandhills
How's the co-ed volleyball going?
Seriously though, glad to hear that things are working out... & keep up the good work!
Seriously though, glad to hear that things are working out... & keep up the good work!
DeftwillP
NAXJA Forum User
- Location
- Round Rock TX
I was smart in HS (4th in class) and a tard in college too. I never learned how to learn if that makes sense.
MXRethoret
NAXJA Forum User
- Location
- San Diego
swbooking said:
i feel ya man. im taking a summer class right now too, Dynamics. midterm tomorrow and a final next week. whatever happened to summer VACATION?
woody said:
shoot.. the only kind of volleyball i play involves sitting in the stands and watching our girls play.. i swear, the 10 hot girls that exist in this school play for the team... ahhh, the beauty of spandex
swbooking
NAXJA Forum User
- Location
- Riverside/Running Springs, Ca
ugh, dynamics... Glad i only had to take Statics. Good luck with that one, my roommate hated dynamics.
