- Location
- Harrisburg, NC
aint nothin wrong with bein a mama's boy....one of the reasons why i go home on the weekends....can't beat that good ole home cookin!
struggle as a freshman...
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swbooking
NAXJA Forum User
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- Riverside/Running Springs, Ca
^^^Amen, that and when i was in the dorms last year, my own shower was the best place ever.
Sure beats this school food... make sure he gets involved too, sure its a little distracting to me but i learn a lot on the way. I talked with my TA's and they helped out a little bit in explaining things better. But perhaps the best way to learn is to make sure he does work and studies with other students. I can say the problem i have is not studying, i never developed the skill/habit to do it in high school. I did perfect in high school finals not studying one bit, same with SATs (except english but idc for that). But it seems a little bit different now with learning a class that would have normally been in a whole year crammed into 7 week terms.99XJSPORT06 said:
sjkimmel99
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- Location
- Phoenix, Az
Are there any opportunities for him to be a tutor to others? Sometimes explaining material to others (whether in a formal tutoring situation or a study group) is the best way to learn and understand it. Even if there are no formal study groups for a particular class the professor or TA must be getting requests from others for help and could link them up. If they have a formal tutor network suggest he consider volunteering for that. Even if he's tutoring on the classes he just finished, since a lot of the material builds on itself he'll see the same thing as foundational material in current and future classes.
matt6669
NAXJA Member # 1602
- Location
- West Milford, NJ
Ahh the joys of college.
I'm in his same shoes kinda. I never did good in HS and now I am attending New Jersey Institute of Technology for architecture. It's completely math and pyschics based and they give no credit to anyone. I hang out with engineering guys all the time and see their schedules so I know what he's going through.
Everyone's given such good advice so far its hard to add anything else that is of much use. But I must say that going to advisors and teachers at there office hours always is a must if your struggling. Getting to know people high up on campus is always a plus. As long as your putting forth the effort the teachers will realize this and help.
Also I don't know how they do it at his school but just because he thinks he's doing bad he might not be doing that bad. At NJIT where I go, if you get a 70 on ANYTHING your doing real good. They make tests soo hard that the slackers bail out and the people that want it stay in. Then at the end of the course, they throw a HUGE curve to adjust the grades as needed. I don't agree with it, but colleges have gone from a service industry to a lets take your money industry in my opinion.
But on a side note, sometimes its best to let them figure it all out on their own but let them know that if they really need help your there for them. I've always strived on figuring out my own problems and the satisfaction i get from it.
I don't know if any of that makes sense its late im off to bed
I'm in his same shoes kinda. I never did good in HS and now I am attending New Jersey Institute of Technology for architecture. It's completely math and pyschics based and they give no credit to anyone. I hang out with engineering guys all the time and see their schedules so I know what he's going through.
Everyone's given such good advice so far its hard to add anything else that is of much use. But I must say that going to advisors and teachers at there office hours always is a must if your struggling. Getting to know people high up on campus is always a plus. As long as your putting forth the effort the teachers will realize this and help.
Also I don't know how they do it at his school but just because he thinks he's doing bad he might not be doing that bad. At NJIT where I go, if you get a 70 on ANYTHING your doing real good. They make tests soo hard that the slackers bail out and the people that want it stay in. Then at the end of the course, they throw a HUGE curve to adjust the grades as needed. I don't agree with it, but colleges have gone from a service industry to a lets take your money industry in my opinion.
But on a side note, sometimes its best to let them figure it all out on their own but let them know that if they really need help your there for them. I've always strived on figuring out my own problems and the satisfaction i get from it.
I don't know if any of that makes sense its late im off to bed
XJ Dreamin'
NAXJA Forum User
- Location
- Huntsville, Texas
There's a big diference in the pace of the class between HS and college. I ran into that my first year. Our HS graded on an 11 point system and I graduated with a 10-something without ever doing any real homework. Everything was covered in class. All I had to do was listen in class and every test was a breeze. I nearly aced my SATs and went off to college thinking I had it made. I tested out of all the intro crap and went straight into the Bio-major pipeline. Trick was, in college you don't get everything handed to you in class - you actually have to open the textbook and read the stupid thing. I had no idea how to go through a textbook and pull out the important bits without reading every damn word. There just wasn't time for that. Plus, I went through highschool without ever taking notes in class. You always heard the same bit of info several times in a highschool class. In a college class you get it once. If you didn't write it down you're screwed.
Short version: I finished the first three semesters with a 2.15 and got kicked out for one full year. That note makes for a really keen Christmas present
They said if I could get a decent grade at another college that winter I could come back in the fall. I learned real quick how to take notes and how to skim a textbook. If you take out the 2.15 for the first three semesters, I ran a 3.98 from then on. You factor in the that 3-semester 2.15 and it was white knuckles getting into the masters program, but my GRE score was pretty good so they let me in on 3 semesters of 3.5 probation.
I'm just taking a shot here, but if your son is anything like I was - breezin' through HS - college can be a bit of a shock. It can feel like nobody gives a crap. Actually, most of them do, it's just not possible to find everybody that's struggling. If he reaches out, though, there is help available.
Good Luck to you both. Our oldest is 11 so I got 7 years to prep him. I'll have my fingers crossed the whole time.
Short version: I finished the first three semesters with a 2.15 and got kicked out for one full year. That note makes for a really keen Christmas present
They said if I could get a decent grade at another college that winter I could come back in the fall. I learned real quick how to take notes and how to skim a textbook. If you take out the 2.15 for the first three semesters, I ran a 3.98 from then on. You factor in the that 3-semester 2.15 and it was white knuckles getting into the masters program, but my GRE score was pretty good so they let me in on 3 semesters of 3.5 probation.
I'm just taking a shot here, but if your son is anything like I was - breezin' through HS - college can be a bit of a shock. It can feel like nobody gives a crap. Actually, most of them do, it's just not possible to find everybody that's struggling. If he reaches out, though, there is help available.
Good Luck to you both. Our oldest is 11 so I got 7 years to prep him. I'll have my fingers crossed the whole time.
Beetlejuice
NAXJA Forum User
- Location
- South Jersey
4th year Engineering student at Rutgers here.....It seems hard at first, and only gets harder, but he should learn how to study and work hard as he moves forward. If he is struggling with math(calculus) then hes gonna struggle in many other engineering classes. Engineering is the toughest of curriculums.
I was the same way, HS was a breeze with AP courses and when I got to college, I had to really find the best way I learn and study. Ive been on academic probation, ive taken semesters off to work manual labor, it gave me a new outlook and reset my priorities for sure. Every engineering student struggles initially, some drop to do a business degree, others stick it out. Hes got to decide what he REALLY wants out of college and what he wants to do. GPA isnt everything, but you dont want it to drop early and be stressed the rest of college.
I was the same way, HS was a breeze with AP courses and when I got to college, I had to really find the best way I learn and study. Ive been on academic probation, ive taken semesters off to work manual labor, it gave me a new outlook and reset my priorities for sure. Every engineering student struggles initially, some drop to do a business degree, others stick it out. Hes got to decide what he REALLY wants out of college and what he wants to do. GPA isnt everything, but you dont want it to drop early and be stressed the rest of college.
BrettM
NAXJA Forum User
- Location
- michifornia
I was Valedictorian of my high-school (class of 350ish) and I also got a wake-up call when I went to college. I skated through high-school and really never learned to study or be disciplined with schooling. I've seen the same from many other valedictorians, and if he's the same way he really only has 3 choices; suck it up and learn study and discipline, go to an easier school where he can continue to skate through, or forget schooling all together. Obviously the first choice is best, but I don't know what you can do as a parent to motivate him towards that...
My younger brother was a B or C student in high-school and scored far lower than my older brother (also valedictorian) and I did on the SATs, but he has been in the Navy's nuclear engineering school for the past 1.5 years and doing really well. They really taught him discipline and a strong work ethic, which will take him much farther than raw brainpower.
My younger brother was a B or C student in high-school and scored far lower than my older brother (also valedictorian) and I did on the SATs, but he has been in the Navy's nuclear engineering school for the past 1.5 years and doing really well. They really taught him discipline and a strong work ethic, which will take him much farther than raw brainpower.
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bajacalal
NAXJA Forum User
- Location
- San Diego (North County), California
UCSD is a very prestigious school and the curriculum is difficult. Congratulations to you sun for getting in. The local party school is SDSU (my alma mater). It is like Berkeley where only the best and brightest are accepted so he went, like mentioned, from the top of his class to one in many, many other valedictorians. The people here have given good advice about how to seek help at school so I won't mention all that. However, if he really is not happy there and feels that he can't make it at UCSD, I suggest he transfer to a reputable school where he has a better chance of graduating with honors. Since I'm not involved with engineering I don't know what places in California to mention though...
If he can finish the year he probably make it. The freshman year there are just so many things going on in your life that its hard to get your bearings straight. He sounds like a smart man so I think he will get used to the routine of college life. Plus, where he is right now, graduation still seems so far off and you are just recovering from the first semester. I remember I had to walk to the top of the same 4 floor building a lot for my classes. That was 8 "flights" of stairs. Every time I went to class the stairs reminded me of where I was in my college career and I felt discouraged as a freshman because of the time I would have to spend working towards my goal. But the time passed quickly.
Oh, and take a semester abroad after a few years.
If he can finish the year he probably make it. The freshman year there are just so many things going on in your life that its hard to get your bearings straight. He sounds like a smart man so I think he will get used to the routine of college life. Plus, where he is right now, graduation still seems so far off and you are just recovering from the first semester. I remember I had to walk to the top of the same 4 floor building a lot for my classes. That was 8 "flights" of stairs. Every time I went to class the stairs reminded me of where I was in my college career and I felt discouraged as a freshman because of the time I would have to spend working towards my goal. But the time passed quickly.
Oh, and take a semester abroad after a few years.
motorcityxj
NAXJA Forum User
- Location
- detroit suburbs
had more ideas for him,
1. he needs to buddy up with some serious minded older students. There are professional fraternaties that i somehow never knew about untill i was a senior at my college (not a small school 26,000 + students) anyways there is marketing and just general business frats. Great for meeting older wiser like minded enginering majors who can show your son the ropes, tell him which teachers are dopes, which are ball busters but worth it, and take a look at his schedule tell him if he over did it, or he was under ambitious. Sounds like he really needs a big brother at school. Advisors are fine and all but they really cant be honest with you to the degree a 4th or 5th year student can. No advisor is going to say professor with the arab or asian name is unable to speak english, while professor so and so has a foregin name speaks perfect english and is funny engaging speaker. No conselour can tell you that stuff and keep her job. That can make or break a semester.
Go easy on the classes next semester get his life in order and see if there are any engineering fraternal oranization for networking. It will help post grad i would imagine and college is all about meeting new cool people, so i really recomend he look into it.
I dunno if he is suffering from big head disease from the valedictorian thing ... not his fault its environmental if he was the smart kid in his class his whole life, but 100 kids is a small school. I went to a medium sized school and i had over 400 kids in my grade, theres public schools will 800 kids in a class. So he has to understand he classmates that werent "even" a valedictorian might be much more accomplished that even him. He cant be to proud to admit its tutor time and he is 18 and doesnt have the world by the ballz like he though he did a year ago.
Ahhh to be young again lol
1. he needs to buddy up with some serious minded older students. There are professional fraternaties that i somehow never knew about untill i was a senior at my college (not a small school 26,000 + students) anyways there is marketing and just general business frats. Great for meeting older wiser like minded enginering majors who can show your son the ropes, tell him which teachers are dopes, which are ball busters but worth it, and take a look at his schedule tell him if he over did it, or he was under ambitious. Sounds like he really needs a big brother at school. Advisors are fine and all but they really cant be honest with you to the degree a 4th or 5th year student can. No advisor is going to say professor with the arab or asian name is unable to speak english, while professor so and so has a foregin name speaks perfect english and is funny engaging speaker. No conselour can tell you that stuff and keep her job. That can make or break a semester.
Go easy on the classes next semester get his life in order and see if there are any engineering fraternal oranization for networking. It will help post grad i would imagine and college is all about meeting new cool people, so i really recomend he look into it.
I dunno if he is suffering from big head disease from the valedictorian thing ... not his fault its environmental if he was the smart kid in his class his whole life, but 100 kids is a small school. I went to a medium sized school and i had over 400 kids in my grade, theres public schools will 800 kids in a class. So he has to understand he classmates that werent "even" a valedictorian might be much more accomplished that even him. He cant be to proud to admit its tutor time and he is 18 and doesnt have the world by the ballz like he though he did a year ago.
Ahhh to be young again lol
jmowens
NAXJA Forum User
- Location
- Huntsville, AL
Jump This said:
I have to say I can relate to his situation... I was toward the top of my class (of 54) in high school - and made a 31 (out of 36) on the ACT... went into college thinking I could "coast" like I did in High School...
I never opened a book in high school... probably could have been the top in my class if I'd put forth half an effort. Honestly college is harder on students who are "just smart" and naturally do well than those students who worked through high school to make the grade.
I had a really rough Freshman year, thankfully my advisor put me on probation for my scholarship, and I really buckled down after the 1st semester. I knew that if I lost my scholarship, then I was off to work! My dad made no beans about it. College was my responsibility, not his. If I didn't have a scholarship and wanted to go, then I had to pay my way. That kept me motivated, and I graduated one semester behind schedule.
Just make sure he knows that it can be done, and that he's got to take responsibility for himself now... it won't be easy, but if I can do it, anyone can!
- Location
- Harrisburg, NC
swbooking said:
Fortuneately, I'm in a suite, so I only share a bathroom with 3 other guys...but it still sucks.
goodburbon
NAXJA Forum User
- Location
- Westcliffe Colorado.
send him down here for a reality check, we're always looking for roustabouts that still have all of their fingers in the oil field.
- Location
- NJ, U.S.A.
Like a number of others who have posted, I was at the top of my class in High School (not Valedictorian, but graduated 10th in my class of 186), but when I got to college (for Enigneering) I got a rude awakening: I ended up in a class of 400 that were at my level or higher academically (some WAY higher). Very humbling (and not in a subtle way), that.
Like your son, I never had to crack the books and study to do well in high school. That didn't work at all for me in college, and the biggest obstacle I had was admitting to myself that I needed help. I got tutors when I needed to, or asked my instructors, and got through it. I fought to hang onto a 3.0 cumulative to keep my scholarship, but I did it. Quite a blow to my ego to go from a H.S. GPA of 4.13 (including weighting for Honors College Prep classes and AP classes) to fighting for a 3.0, but good for the soul. It took a lot to swallow my pride and ask for help, but if I hadn't done that I wouldn't have graduated.
I know all about difficult curriculums too - Stevens Institute of Technology (my Alma Mater) has a 155 credit graduation requirement, which is more than even MIT. My lightest semester was 18 credits (a Dean's approval was needed to drop down to a lightened load of 15).
The best thing you can do for him is to be there to offer support. Since he's already taken the first step and gone to the counselor, he's already getting over that first big hurdle.
Rob
Like your son, I never had to crack the books and study to do well in high school. That didn't work at all for me in college, and the biggest obstacle I had was admitting to myself that I needed help. I got tutors when I needed to, or asked my instructors, and got through it. I fought to hang onto a 3.0 cumulative to keep my scholarship, but I did it. Quite a blow to my ego to go from a H.S. GPA of 4.13 (including weighting for Honors College Prep classes and AP classes) to fighting for a 3.0, but good for the soul. It took a lot to swallow my pride and ask for help, but if I hadn't done that I wouldn't have graduated.
I know all about difficult curriculums too - Stevens Institute of Technology (my Alma Mater) has a 155 credit graduation requirement, which is more than even MIT. My lightest semester was 18 credits (a Dean's approval was needed to drop down to a lightened load of 15).
The best thing you can do for him is to be there to offer support. Since he's already taken the first step and gone to the counselor, he's already getting over that first big hurdle.
Rob
XJ Dreamin'
NAXJA Forum User
- Location
- Huntsville, Texas
goodburbon said:
"Down here" to 32°51'34.65"E?
goodburbon
NAXJA Forum User
- Location
- Westcliffe Colorado.
jmowens said:
That was me right down to the ACT score. I still haven't finished college yet, but I never saw an end to it before and now the end is in sight.
4 years of hellacious studying looks daunting until you're done, or looking back and saying damn I should have graduated 6 years ago and I should be making 100k a year now. It's one of those things that he is gonna hate while he's there at first.
he's going to have to forego almost all partying (save for 1 or 2 days a semester to blow off steam) and drinking and hit the books....HARD. He will have to sit in his room or the library and study while all of his friends go have a blast. He'll need to hook up with study groups and tutoring, and He also needs to buddy up with someone a semester or 2 ahead of him who can help him know what to expect. If he isn't willing to do that then he is better off either in a community college for now or in the workforce learning what he doesn't want to do for the rest of his life.
goodburbon
NAXJA Forum User
- Location
- Westcliffe Colorado.
XJ Dreamin' said:"Down here" to 32°51'34.65"E?
sorry, I need to change that.
nova98xj
NAXJA Forum User
- Location
- Leesburg/Blacksburg, VA
im a freshman engineering student at Va Tech and the first semester seemed like it would never end. gpa went from 4.01 in hs to a 2.46 in college. I think the problem with me was that i wasnt having enough fun. I stayed in my dorm all the time to study and would just get stressed and not learn anything after that. being couped up like that for hours isnt good. also i have a big problem with procrastination -- in high school i could do an essay the night before and ace it. my plan is to actually study a few days before tests and actually do some of the homework, and then go out and have fun. Hopefully now that i realize that i dont need to have a perfect gpa in school, will get rid of a lot of that stress.
Fish'nCarz
NAXJA Forum User
- Location
- Victor, ID
Jump This said:
My daughter is a truly gifted honors student (where the hell did she get that?!?!?) and I know she's going to have trouble her first year. I did with my first 2 years. I came from a small farm town in central Indiana to a Big 10 party school full of more options and ideas than I ever believed possible. I had to learn how to live on my own first, and then how to study. Studying in groups helped more than anything for me.
To use a Jeep analogy, It was like going from running stock on pavement around town all the time to being put down around Moab in a lifted rock crawler with 35" tires, big gears, and no compass. Not only didn't I know how to drive in that, I didn't know where to go or even really where I was. He needs to hook up with some other folks that know the lay of the land and how to run in it. And he needs a spotter or two. He'll be fine. Hell, just being 19 was tough, but going to a really serious school when you're 19, with all the expectations you have for yourself and what you think your family thinks is way tough. He'll find his way with some gentle nudging. He'll roll over and get stuck, but that happens all the time. Things usually work out for the best in the end.
Love him, support him, and tell him you have confidence that he'll figure it out but that you know he isn't perfect and he'll never know where he can go until he tries and get's stuck. The trick is to keep trying new things until you find the route that works.
A cowboy on TV once said that there ain't a horse that can't be rode or a cowboy that can't be throwed. You just have to get back on one more time to be a winner.
Best of luck!!
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Jeep914x4
NAXJA Forum User
- Location
- New Mexico
Ok, first off I have to say I didn't read everyone else's replies, I hate it when people do that, but wanted to put in my 2 cents.
I was top 5 in a small HS class. I never struggled or had a hard time in school. When I went to college I was studying engineering also.
For the first time I wasn't getting it. It was very hard for me to swallow my pride and ask for help. Make sure you stress that it's ok to ask for help and, like other have said, get him to join Focus Groups or talk to a tutor. Some of the best friends I made in college were my "Study Buddies".
Good luck. He sounds like the kind of kid that will stick in there and do a great job.
Edit: I did fine in the end. I just had to get over the hump and realize it's ok to admit you don't get it. When I got some help things clicked and I got my confidence back.
I was top 5 in a small HS class. I never struggled or had a hard time in school. When I went to college I was studying engineering also.
For the first time I wasn't getting it. It was very hard for me to swallow my pride and ask for help. Make sure you stress that it's ok to ask for help and, like other have said, get him to join Focus Groups or talk to a tutor. Some of the best friends I made in college were my "Study Buddies".
Good luck. He sounds like the kind of kid that will stick in there and do a great job.
Edit: I did fine in the end. I just had to get over the hump and realize it's ok to admit you don't get it. When I got some help things clicked and I got my confidence back.
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