Okie Terry said:
Let this be a warning to the newlyweds of

. Women's messaging systems are skewed and things aren't always what they may seem.
[On the other hand, things might be exactly as they seem, per the dead-literal heroine of my alltime favorite email joke.]
George, the best postman in the world, was retiring after 30 years on the same route & on his last day there was a gift for him at virtually every house: a check, fine fishing tackle for his favorite hobby, etc.
At one address the door was opened by the gorgeous lady of the house clad in a transparent negligee. She took George's arm & led him upstairs where she proceeded to undress him & make seismic love to him, then told him to come down to the breakfast room when he was dressed.
He came down to a beautiful table set w/fresh-squeezed OJ, blueberry waffles, Smithfield ham, freshly-ground coffee. He ate in stunned silence.
Only as he finished the last of his coffee did he notice a dollar bill tucked under the saucer. He picked it up & asked, "What's this?"
"Oh, that's from my husband. I told him you were retiring & that we must get a gift for you, & he said, 'F--- him. Give him a buck'.
The breakfast was my idea."