Idiot Watch Thread

I was on a date with a girl in college and I told her jokingly that I was in a car accident in highschool and became a quadraplegic. She responded by touching my arm and saying, "wow they look so real and you walk so good" I didn't tell her for several days that It was just a joke.
 
Had a friggin' genius call 911 the other day to warn us that there was a rabbit in the right lane of the interstate...traffic routinely does 65+ through that section. By the time I was able to narrow her location down from "In Denver" to "on I-25" to "heading toward Colorado Springs" and finally got a crosstreet out of her I'm pretty sure that bunny was no thicker than an inch...

Thanks for the laugh lady, but dammitall - what part of "Emergency" and "911" can't you figure?
 
POSXJGuy said:
there are idiots all around us. i live across the street from one. this one couple has a few cats and should only have one as to what the landlord said to us. they let their cats crap all over the place. im fed up.

they even come in my garage and hang out when i have the door lifted for a bit.

the other day the man of that house was in front being confronted by the landlord and he said "i only have one cat, i swear" ... right then and there two of the cats, none of which he said he had jumped in the window to see what was happening outside.

what a jackass. people like that should just be kicked.
Click to expand...

on a similar but worse note...

this happened to a guy i use to work with. he was driving home one day, and came close to hitting a dog crossing the road. when he stopped, a lady started yelling at him about watching where he was going and saying she'd kick his ass. the dog was going back and forth from her to her kids, who were unattended on the other side of the street (and no more than waist high, not sure of ages). she kept yelling at him, and finally he just got out of the car to face her right as a police car came up. what's really stupid is that woman tried to say the kids weren't hers, as one of the girls was tugging her clothes and saying 'mommy'

some people should be prevented from having children by medical procedure.
 
OK I got one for ya.

My girl friend from a few years ago, She bought a new car, the next mornig she calls me and says the car wont start, "come and fix it". I told her it was a new car, call the dealership. well she did not want to do that. So i went over to take a look at the car, put the key in and strated right away, So i asked what the problem was. She said ya it starts that way, i wouldnt start with the remote, andbody guess why? It was a keyless door remote - not a remote starter. She also figured the doors would unlock and open themselves with the remote.:twak:
 
Back in high school a girl I knew came by our house right after she got her license. She asked my brother and I if we wanted to go for a ride with her, just so she could drive. We were busy so we had to pass. Then she asks, "well...then can you guys just teach me how to fill it with gas? I never learned in Driver's ed."

She was a winner.


Chris
 
I was teaching an intro. American Hist. pre-Civil War. The topic of the day was Slaves and The Underground Railroad. I get through with the lecture and illustrations. At the end of class I ask if there are anymore questions. One fellow - nice guy, surfer dude look and personality - asks with a perplexed look, "How were they able to run the trains underground without people finding out?" There was a pause while I, and the rest of the class, realized he was serious. I, trying to be kind, turned around so I could smile and laugh at the wall. Let's just say that his classmates were not as generous.
In another large lecture class, I was having problems with some cheating on quizzes. So I made two versions of the quiz and alternated them as they were handed out. In the middle of the quiz, I had one student - a baseball player who had strategicaly chosen where to sit - raised his hand. Mind you, it is very unusual to have a question in the middle of a quiz. I respond, "yes?" His statement..."Why are my questions different from the other quiz?" I told him it would not be neccesary for him to finish the quiz or the class. The rest of the students where RFLMAO.
Lastly, you gotta love the regular demonstrations of stupid plagiarism. I can not tell you how often I get plagiarized papers where the student fails to cull the name of the author from the original document. My only response - before failing them for the class - is to tell them that if they are going to cheat, at least cheat smart.
BSD
 
i was working at advance auto when a guy call me to get somehting for his car when i ask him what kind of car he had he told me it was an olds i said to him ok what kind of olds he simply replid with "mobile"
 
A few years back...

I worked at an animal shelter that performed low cast spay-neuter surgeries...

In order to "spay" a dog, you have to go into the abdomen and remove the uterus, tubes, etc.

At pickup time the owner was pissed because her dog's belly was shaved...

her argument was that:

"I though it was just a snip-snip and they're gone"

:twak:
 
Gil BullyKatz said:
A few years back...

I worked at an animal shelter that performed low cast spay-neuter surgeries...

In order to "spay" a dog, you have to go into the abdomen and remove the uterus, tubes, etc.

At pickup time the owner was pissed because her dog's belly was shaved...

her argument was that:

"I though it was just a snip-snip and they're gone"

:twak:
Click to expand...
Did it make you wonder what "she" had down there?

Les
 
ckh550 said:
Back in high school a girl I knew came by our house right after she got her license. She asked my brother and I if we wanted to go for a ride with her, just so she could drive. We were busy so we had to pass. Then she asks, "well...then can you guys just teach me how to fill it with gas? I never learned in Driver's ed."

She was a winner.


Chris
Click to expand...

thats nuthin.... while i was in high school a friend of mine had a turbo saab for at least 6 or 7 months she let me take for a spin one day, i drove it till the gas light came on :D she responded with "gosh i've never put gas in my car before, i wonder if i know how......my mom always does it for me" she totaled that car before i graduated


good luck in the real world kiddo........
 
I aproached this intersection from the south, intending to turn right. A line painter had closed the southbound straight/right turn lane, diverting all southbound traffic into the southbound left turn lane, directly opposing the northbound left turn traffic! A second painter had closed the west bound lane, diverting traffic into the oncoming eastbound traffic! They had made no attempt to take control of the lights, and there were no flagmen: just two dumba$$ painters.


Drivers were pissed! Everybody was yellin' at these two idiots and they're like, "We're paintin' lines here!"

What's the world coming to... :twak:
 
ckh550 said:
Back in high school a girl I knew came by our house right after she got her license. She asked my brother and I if we wanted to go for a ride with her, just so she could drive. We were busy so we had to pass. Then she asks, "well...then can you guys just teach me how to fill it with gas? I never learned in Driver's ed."

She was a winner.


Chris
Click to expand...
Now she wasn't so dumb. She was working you guys, or at least trying. Shit I still run into pumps at stations that it takes awhile to figure out.Or at least what order you have to do everything in to actually start to fill up. :laugh3:
 
ok i know i'm dragging up an old thread but saw a very reportable idiot today..... lifted tj on 35's going down the road he had his recovery d-rings mounted to his axletube and on a d35 no less.... i think he was wondering why i was laughing so hard when i drove by
 
shortxjdoug said:
ok i know i'm dragging up an old thread but saw a very reportable idiot today..... lifted tj on 35's going down the road he had his recovery d-rings mounted to his axletube and on a d35 no less.... i think he was wondering why i was laughing so hard when i drove by
Click to expand...
He probably thinks it is a really cool set up. Wait until he hooks something onto it and rips the axle off. Oops maybe that wasn't so Cool !
 
Are we allowed to report ourselves? :D

When I first bought my Samurai, I couldn't figure out how to get gas in it. It was the first vehicle I'd ever owned with a locking gas cap and try as I might, I couldn't get it open. I'd turn the key 3/4 turn CCW just like it said and it wouldn't budge. Fianlly I realized that I had to turn the key back to normal just like on a dor...
 
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