Did you hear the new penalty for speeding in Illinois?
The first offense they give you Bears tickets and the second offense they make you use them.
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The Chicago Bears will be changed to the "Chicago Tampons" as they are only good for one period and have no second string.
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(old one) An Illinois woman chose to go for early labor, two days before her due date, so that her "Chicago Bears" besotted husband could watch them play against the "New Orleans Saints" during Sunday's NFC Championship game. Colleen Pavelka, 28, said her decision to induce early labor was out of her fear of going into labor during the game, that might have resulted in Mark, her husband, missing out on the game. "I thought, how could (Mark) miss this one opportunity that he might never have again in his life?,"
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Q: Why is the Bears football team like a possum?
A: Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.
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Q: What's the difference between the Chicago Bears and Cheerios?
A: A Cheerio belongs in a bowl.
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The bears have a new line of cologne. It's a little different though; you wear it and the other guy scores.
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Why can't Rex Grossman use the phone anymore? Because he can't find the receiver.
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If you see a bears fan on a bike, why should you not swerve to hit him?
It could be your bike
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The Seven Dwarfs were marching through the forest one day they fell in a deep, dark ravine. Snow White, who was following along, peered over the edge of the steep chasm and called out to the fallen dwarfs. From the depths of the dark hole a voice returned, "The Bears are Super Bowl contenders."
Snow White thought to herself, "Thank God... at least Dopey's survived!"
...
CHICAGO (AP) -- Chicago Bears football practice was delayed nearly two
hours today after a player reported finding an unknown white powdery
substance on the practice field. Head coach Lovie Smith immediately
suspended practice while police and federal investigators were called to
investigate. After a complete analysis, FBI forensic experts determined
that the white substance unknown to the players was the goal line.
Practice resumed after special agents decided the team was unlikely to
encounter the substance again...
how do u keep Rex Grossman from mastrubating???
paint his penis blue and white... he'll never beat that!!