RTicUL8
NAXJA Forum User
- Location
- Rocky Mountain High... Colorado!
eww...
HUMPDAY Joke of the Week!
- Thread starter Skully
- Start date
collkid
NAXJA Forum User
- Location
- Highlands Ranch, Colorado
yeah that was weird, made me smile though. Who's Sue?
jimgrms
NAXJA Forum User
- Location
- Oceanside Ca the beach
Sue is my ex wife
flingshot
NAXJA Forum User
- Location
- Thornton Colorado
How did you sink that Cruise ship?
- Location
- Colorado Springs, CO
A woman asked her doctor if she could get pregnant having anal sex.
Her doctor said, "Where do you think lawyers come from?"
Her doctor said, "Where do you think lawyers come from?"
jimgrms
NAXJA Forum User
- Location
- Oceanside Ca the beach
now thats just plain wrong
Skully
NAXJA Forum User
- Location
- Dacono, Co.
I da know there Jim yours was pretty bad.........................:scared:
jimgrms
NAXJA Forum User
- Location
- Oceanside Ca the beach
I apoligize that joke was in poor taste :>{ )))))
and for misspelling apoligize also
and for misspelling apoligize also
Skully
NAXJA Forum User
- Location
- Dacono, Co.
In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and
generic name. For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic
name of Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also
called Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.
The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After
careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently
announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also
considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of
course, Ibepokin.
Pfizer Corp announced today that Viagra will soon be available
in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage
suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to
literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this
a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of 'cocktails',
'highballs' and just a good old-fashioned 'stiff drink'. Pepsi will
market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO.
Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast
implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that
by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and
huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.
generic name. For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic
name of Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also
called Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.
The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After
careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently
announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also
considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of
course, Ibepokin.
Pfizer Corp announced today that Viagra will soon be available
in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage
suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to
literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this
a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of 'cocktails',
'highballs' and just a good old-fashioned 'stiff drink'. Pepsi will
market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO.
Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast
implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that
by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and
huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.
that is awesome. Best sig line candidate ever. I was laughing at the names but THAT is hilarious
gsxrs4life
NAXJA Forum User
- Location
- colorado springs, co
lmfao rofl....
gsxrs4life
NAXJA Forum User
- Location
- colorado springs, co
my stomach hurts....
.40CalPatriot
NAXJA Forum User
- Location
- Westminster, CO
I'm sure glad they found that kid in the balloon. For a minute there, I thought Michael Jackson had ordered take-out from heaven!
XJNOOB93
NAXJA Forum User
- Location
- Lost Wages, NV
I can't believe I wasted an afternoon watching that crap on television.. only to find out they planned it.
Got emailed this one yesterday. Made me laugh and throw up in my mouth a little bit at the same time.
One time when I was visiting Toronto I asked a chap where I could
find a good house of ill repute. He gave me an address and said to ask
for Sally.
I went to the address and requested Sally. She took me to a
room, stripped down and said, "Go ahead, but let me know how it is."
After a few minutes I said, "It's not bad but a bit loose." She
said, "Get off for a moment." I did that and she reached down and fiddled
about with her privates. "Try it now." she said. I did and found it
better but still a bit loose, so I told her so. She repeated her
actions and when I tried it again it was perfect.
When we were finished and I was paying her I asked, "How do you manage to adjust
it's size to fit anyone?"
"Well," she said, "I've been in this business for some time and have developed warts on one side and wormholes on the other. I just button them up."
One time when I was visiting Toronto I asked a chap where I could
find a good house of ill repute. He gave me an address and said to ask
for Sally.
I went to the address and requested Sally. She took me to a
room, stripped down and said, "Go ahead, but let me know how it is."
After a few minutes I said, "It's not bad but a bit loose." She
said, "Get off for a moment." I did that and she reached down and fiddled
about with her privates. "Try it now." she said. I did and found it
better but still a bit loose, so I told her so. She repeated her
actions and when I tried it again it was perfect.
When we were finished and I was paying her I asked, "How do you manage to adjust
it's size to fit anyone?"
"Well," she said, "I've been in this business for some time and have developed warts on one side and wormholes on the other. I just button them up."
jimgrms
NAXJA Forum User
- Location
- Oceanside Ca the beach
How come when your wife is pregnant all her female friends
rub her belly and say congratulations
But they don't rub your penis and say well done ::
rub her belly and say congratulations
But they don't rub your penis and say well done ::
- Location
- Colorado Springs, CO
Bumper sticker on a mini-van:
HONK if my kids fall out.
HONK if my kids fall out.
- Location
- Golden, CO
Jim, it must have been the comment about being a sparky and not a mechanic that made me think of you first:
How to change your oil.
For those of you didn't pay attention the first time around, you can replay the video until you get the general idea.
Probably NSFW, or if your SO is in the room...
How to change your oil.
For those of you didn't pay attention the first time around, you can replay the video until you get the general idea.
Probably NSFW, or if your SO is in the room...
Skully
NAXJA Forum User
- Location
- Dacono, Co.
For all the single members out there here is some great pick up lines;
THE WORLD'S BEST/WORST PICKUP LINES
1. I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hands.
2. Can I borrow a quarter? ["What for?"] I want to call my mom and
tell her that I just met the girl of my dreams.
OR:
I want to call your mother and thank her.
3. Is your daddy a thief? ["No."] Then how did he steal the
sparkle of the stars and put it in your eyes? [Be ready with a
snappy answer in case they say "yes."]
4. You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear.
5. Would you be my love buffet? So I can lay you out on the table
and take what I want?
6. Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we
did anyway..
7. The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and
spread the word.
8. Do your legs hurt from running through my dreams all night?
9. That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom
floor tomorrow morning.
10. My name's [your name]. That's so you know what to scream.
11. My name's [your name], but you can call me "lover."
12. Nice shoes. Wanna XXXX?
13. Can I flirt with you?
14. Your daddy must have been a baker, 'cause you've got a nice
set of buns.
15. [Look at his/her shirt label. When they say, "What are you
doing?":] Checking to see if you were made in heaven.
OR:
Checking to see if you're the right size.
16. All those curves, and me with no brakes.
17. If I told you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against
me?
18. XXXX me if I'm wrong, but don't you want to kiss me?
19. I like every muscle in your body, especially mine.
20. [Grab his/her tush.] Pardon me, is this seat taken?
21. Is it hot in here or is it just you?
22. Can I have directions? ["To where?"] To your heart. [Cheese
alert!]
23. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.
24. How about you sit on my lap and we'll see what pops up?
25. Do you know what'd look good on you? Me.
26. I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?
27. So... How am I doin'?
28. How about you and I go back to my place and get out of these
wet clothes?
29. [Tap your thigh] You just think this is my leg.
30. Say, that's a nice [dress/outfit/article of clothing]. Can I
talk you out of it?
31. I lost my phone number. Can I have yours?
32. I hope you know CPR, 'cause you take my breath away.
33. Excuse me, is that semen in your hair?
34. My face is leaving in fifteen minutes. Be on it.
35. Is your last name Gillette cause I hear your are the best a
man can get.
THE WORLD'S BEST/WORST PICKUP LINES
1. I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hands.
2. Can I borrow a quarter? ["What for?"] I want to call my mom and
tell her that I just met the girl of my dreams.
OR:
I want to call your mother and thank her.
3. Is your daddy a thief? ["No."] Then how did he steal the
sparkle of the stars and put it in your eyes? [Be ready with a
snappy answer in case they say "yes."]
4. You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear.
5. Would you be my love buffet? So I can lay you out on the table
and take what I want?
6. Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we
did anyway..
7. The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and
spread the word.
8. Do your legs hurt from running through my dreams all night?
9. That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom
floor tomorrow morning.
10. My name's [your name]. That's so you know what to scream.
11. My name's [your name], but you can call me "lover."
12. Nice shoes. Wanna XXXX?
13. Can I flirt with you?
14. Your daddy must have been a baker, 'cause you've got a nice
set of buns.
15. [Look at his/her shirt label. When they say, "What are you
doing?":] Checking to see if you were made in heaven.
OR:
Checking to see if you're the right size.
16. All those curves, and me with no brakes.
17. If I told you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against
me?
18. XXXX me if I'm wrong, but don't you want to kiss me?
19. I like every muscle in your body, especially mine.
20. [Grab his/her tush.] Pardon me, is this seat taken?
21. Is it hot in here or is it just you?
22. Can I have directions? ["To where?"] To your heart. [Cheese
alert!]
23. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.
24. How about you sit on my lap and we'll see what pops up?
25. Do you know what'd look good on you? Me.
26. I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?
27. So... How am I doin'?
28. How about you and I go back to my place and get out of these
wet clothes?
29. [Tap your thigh] You just think this is my leg.
30. Say, that's a nice [dress/outfit/article of clothing]. Can I
talk you out of it?
31. I lost my phone number. Can I have yours?
32. I hope you know CPR, 'cause you take my breath away.
33. Excuse me, is that semen in your hair?
34. My face is leaving in fifteen minutes. Be on it.
35. Is your last name Gillette cause I hear your are the best a
man can get.
