35s. The guy I used to do the gears recommended 4.56s when I asked about 4.88s and so did the charts I found online. He said for a mix of regular road driving/trail/crawling i would be happier with 4.56s.
I hate hearing stories like this........
Let me guess, the guy who recommended the 4:56 ratio is going to swap out your fresh 4:56's and replace them with 4:88's for free?
Gearing comparison charts
NEVER factor in:
*increased tire/wheel weight
* increased rolling resistance of larger tire/contact patch
* increased wind resistance from suspension lift/larger tires/roof rack/roof mounted spare/lighting
*engine torque loss due to elevation change
*added static vehicle weight including HD bumpers, armor, winch, full-size spare, trail gear, cargo, etc.
These are all critical factors that must be considered to calculate the proper gear ratio for your rig.
I've never regretted 4:88's with 295/75/16's (33.4" tall) and a AW4 and 5.5" lift and they have performed well for 100K+ miles over the last 12 yrs. I daily drove this setup for 5 years-60 mile round trip commute, averaging 17mpg freeway/13mpg city. Even now, with a tired 4.0L @ 215K miles, my Jeep still pulls moderate grades on the freeway in OD, without any of the 3rd/OD gear hunting that you've described.
18 years ago, I ran 4:56's and 285/75/16's and a 5speed on my previous XJ and the gearing was just right.....and then I swapped out the manual for an auto trans and the gearing sucked.