Sorry to hear of the loss of the Highlander, but I am glad you are ok. See an attorney you may have a case on your hands, I collected as did my bro when we were hit head on by a lady in a Honda SUV; it took a few years, and we did have to go to doctors etc. but worth it IMHO.
I like your rockrails, your accident looks like a classic frontal offset collision. What I find interesting is that the unique design of your rock rails, I believe, kept the rockers and frame relatively straight. The photos I have seen of stock XJs in similar laboratory accidents show the front wheels being pushed back in such a way as to cause buckling of the frame rail and or rocker, with significant deformation (inward deflection) of the floorboards thus exposing the occupants feet and or lower legs to harm. Good work!
XJguy