Anak :cheers: - thank for very much for this write up !!
Let me quickly recap what our situation was with the 96 XJ:
Became increasingly hard to start - would have to prime the system (turn key to on position so pump will kick in for a few seconds) several times. This worked for a while -- but after 6 months became nearly impossible to start.
Troubleshooting Fuel system from tank to cylinder:
We hooked up a fuel pressure gauge at the rail and identified that the fuel pressure would get to the 49 (+/- 5) psi spec when the key was turned to "on" several times - but would immediately fall very quickly. At this point, we needed to identify where this pressure was being lost. We pinched off the fuel line (between the tank and the fuel filter) and we could now see the pressure hold when we primed.
So we knew the problem was in the tank --- likely check valve / fuel pressure regulator not working. If the pressure would not have held, we would have looked at a problem at the rail -- fuel injectors. For prosperity, we actually did remove and clean all fuel injectors and verified no leaks.
Resolution:
This is where the huge thanks to Anak comes in. We read about this 96 being a one off solution and that the fuel pressure regulator was not serviceable AND that the whole assembly is near impossible to find. His post clearly walks you through how it can be serviced. The key part was that Crown 53030001 fuel pressure regulator ($45 via Amazon). The regulator, under vacuum, is rated at 39 psi (out of spec); however, when not used with a vacuum, as in our in tank setup, it will get you to the 49 (+/- 5) psi. We did not replace the pump or any other component -- just the FPR. It's fairly easy to get the old regulator off and put this new one in -- direct fit. Vehicle now is holding 52 psi at the rail (verified) when primed. Normally, we would have changed the pump when doing this -- but it was so easy to get the fuel pump assembly out -- that we decided to wait for a pump issue before spending that $$.
Lessons / Tips:
When we put the pump assembly back in, the large O-ring/seal was not seated properly. We filled the tank up -- and noticed a leak. Cleaning where the seal sits and holding in place with some tacky substance should do the trick. In order to service this leak, we drained the tank by disconnecting fuel line at the fuel filter .. placing hose in a gas container .. and jumped the fuel pressure relay. This drained 9/10 gallons of gas in about 10 minutes or so. If anyone has tips on getting these seals to stay in place .. please share

This could be an argument for dropping the tank

where it would then be much much easier to get that seal in place. I'd recommend filling the tank only half way after you put the assembly back on -- and then watch for leaking gas after you drive a bit.