Just need some friends right now...

[Little Jeep]

well, she came back today. we're "working on things" right now and are not officially "together" right now. her reason for that is unknown and personally, im not going to ask.

im just going to sit in the background for a while, wait it out, and continue on with my life the way it was before the break up. nothing more i can do but wait and see what happens.

somethings totally up though. she quit her job today. so now shes unemployed. kinda seems like she went off the deep end. shes probably just scared.

Just try to let her know that you love her, and give her space when she needs it. Pregnant woman starting questioning everything they have ever done from childhood on and they worry about what kind of future they can provide for their unborn baby, they worry about if they will be a good Mommy. Guys usually go thru this right after a nurse hands them the baby for the first time..... you will see, it is scary as hell... If you don't lose a few nights sleep over this, you aren't a normal Dad.

 

[strickland.thomas]

Hey man sorry to hear about the domestic problems! I have no idea whats going on there but just be aware that there COULD be a logical reason for all that. ANYWAY

Ive found that the best way to deal with that kind of stuff is to wander out there, get in that Jeep and head on up to the hills for a nice little sabbatical. Just gettin that time in the wilderness has helped many a man with girl problems since time probably began.

Also, I dont know how your apartments are or your job situation but if at all possible Id get a dog. Im not really quite sure how I lived without one!

Keep your head up and Jeep rubber down!

 

[YELLAHEEP]

Jonathan,

This is just an "if it feels right" suggestion, and may be ok now, or later - you'll have to be the judge of it.......

But approach her and tell her you totally understand that her head is just all confused and scared and that right now, talking face to face might be too difficult.

Hand her a notebook and pen and suggest to her that maybe you two could start the discussion by writing each other notes in that one notebook - She writes on a page and leaves it for you, you then respond and write on the next page and leave it for her. Keep and open mind about what's printed and about what you may write back to her.

It may help open the channels and get things out that otherwise might not get said.

 

[ColoradoRaptor]

Sorry to hear about your situation!! I feel your pain, my wife of 8 years did the same thing to me!! Turned out she was having relations outside the marriage................. Life can be a pain in the ass but you MUST keep a positive outlook no matter what happens!! I have my wonderful son with this crazy crak hoe that I used to call wife...... Children always make these situations more difficult!! Stay positive and out of the bottle because you now have a child to care for reguardless of the outcome of your relationship!! eace:

 

[Little Jeep]

--snip--

Also, I dont know how your apartments are or your job situation but if at all possible Id get a dog. Im not really quite sure how I lived without one!

Keep your head up and Jeep rubber down!

Get a Dog???:huh: Soon he will be bringing home a new baby, as if that is going to be life changing enough, you want to add a new dog to the situation. :looney:

 

[xj-rick]

Jonathan,

This is just an "if it feels right" suggestion, and may be ok now, or later - you'll have to be the judge of it.......

But approach her and tell her you totally understand that her head is just all confused and scared and that right now, talking face to face might be too difficult.

Hand her a notebook and pen and suggest to her that maybe you two could start the discussion by writing each other notes in that one notebook - She writes on a page and leaves it for you, you then respond and write on the next page and leave it for her. Keep and open mind about what's printed and about what you may write back to her.

It may help open the channels and get things out that otherwise might not get said.

x2 on the notebook. I know we have never met or spoken, but that is part of what this board is about IMO. My wife had some problems a couple years ago that ended up putting her in the hospital. Long story short, she was diagnosed with OCD and Acute Anxiety Disorder. That had put a MASSIVE strain on our marriage as neither of us knew what was going on. I realize that the situations are different, but when she came home there were some communication issues between us. She tried to internalize everything and didnt know how to deal with me wanting to fix everything. We tried the notebook type communication and it really helped us work through everything. She is now doing great and we are stronger as a couple because of it. Keep your head up and think positive. It could be anything at all, but yet have nothing to do with you. It is hard to deal with I know, but that is what we are all here for.

 

[Hugothegrunt]

Sorry to hear about your problems Surf, there is a lot of good advice being put out on this thread.

As far as the dog..., I'd wait. I have always had a dog(s), but my last 2 dogs passed after my son was born, when he turned 2 we found out that he is highly allergic to animal dander. So I'd wait till your kid is old enough to get an allergy test before you have to give up a family pet that everyone has become attached to.

Keep your head up bruther.

 

[kujito]

Keep your head up man. I wish I had some other sage advice, but I don't. Just know that we are all here if you need an ear or anything else.

 

[Hypoid]

For those who missed it the first time:

I have no family for 2000 miles, about 2 friends, a jack russell terrier, and now an empty apartment and my jeep.

For the uninitiated, in The Great State of Colorado, a judge will favor the mother for custody.

Hang in there Jonathan. As already mentioned, there is plenty of room for "could-be" scenarios. All that crap will reveal it's-self in time. Focus on being the stable one, not the scary one.

grump out...

 

[Hugothegrunt]

My bad, I did miss that he had a dog already....well nevermind then.

 

[ColoradoRaptor]

For the uninitiated, in The Great State of Colorado, a judge will favor the mother for custody.

Yes, this is true sadly BUT there can be no favor either way UNLESS there are good reasons!! A good lawyer will make sure there is no bias in the judgment!!