Just need some friends right now...

[SurfXJSnow]

So my pregnant fiance split. Dont know what went wrong, dont know what i did, or didnt do. She just woke up this morning, told me she didnt love me anymore and walked out.

I have no family for 2000 miles, about 2 friends, a jack russell terrier, and now an empty apartment and my jeep.

Please, Please tell me... what the hell am i supposed to do?

She wont talk to me, wont answer my calls, and says shes going to fight me for custody of OUR child. Just need advice before the whole world comes crashing down on me.

 

[XJNOOB93]

I am so sorry to hear about this Jonathan.. I am sorry to say that I have no idea what I would do in this situation other than wait it out. Still try to get in contact with her and do everything in your power to see what went wrong. I am sick as a dog right now but once I am better, I will come hang out with you can try to make you feel better. I promise that.

I am really sorry.

 

[Frank Z]

Do not pick up a bottle and drown your sorrows, worst thing in the world for ya.

Preganacy can cause some real crazy thought processes. My wife could laugh and instantly cry at the drop of a hat. Give her a day or two and try calling again. Have you called her folks and talked to them yet? They might be able to offer some insight as to what's going on.

FWIW, if things don't work out between the two of you, stay focused on your child and don't just walk away...please.

 

[welldone]

damn that sucks man. sorry to hear that, if you need someone to talk to just let me know.

 

[SurfXJSnow]

Do not pick up a bottle and drown your sorrows, worst thing in the world for ya.

Preganacy can cause some real crazy thought processes. My wife could laugh and instantly cry at the drop of a hat. Give her a day or two and try calling again. Have you called her folks and talked to them yet? They might be able to offer some insight as to what's going on.

FWIW, if things don't work out between the two of you, stay focused on your child and don't just walk away...please.

i tried calling her mom (only number i have for her family) and her step dad picked up and told me to leave her alone for now... sounded like he was on her side... whatever side that is. I did nothing wrong, took her out to dinner last night, and have been by her side on this struggle to find insurance coverage for our soon to be child. im just lost, and i will NOT WALK AWAY from our child. I just called her and left her a message and said "whatever i did wrong, whatever we did wrong we can fix it... if two people can make the amazing miracle of bringing a baby into this world, then those two same people should be able to work out any problems they are having together... EVEN IF ITS ONLY FOR THE BENEFIT OF THE CHILD"

she comes from a divorced family, a messy, ugly divorce to say the least so its in her blood. I just have no idea what to do until i hear from her.

 

[Hypoid]

Sorry to hear it Jonathan!

Sadly, I have been-there, done-that. Her Stepdad's advice is golden, take heed to it. As much as you are trying to sort and resolve the issues, the last thing you need is to come off as some kind of stalker. You have "shut the door open", now give the girl her space with the knowledge that you have not turned your back on her.

That leaves a lot of stuff still up in the air; pure torture for any man. My advice is to focus less on the uncertianties, more on the certianties. You still have to pay bills, maintain your employment, keep all your fingers and toes attached. All that other stuff you agonize over will still be here tomorrow. Right now a sober mind and a clear conscience are good to have.


That's all I can think of off the top, hang in there!

Grump out...

 

[XCastleXJ]

ive never gone through what your going through. but for other reasons, my heart is in a really shitty place right now too. sometimes i want to just get in my jeep and drive the fu(k away from everything. othertimes i want to get smashed beyond all reason and times i want to destroy something beautiful.

the emotions your feeling probably have you up at night sick to your stomache not knowing what to do.

my only advice could be to just keep your eyes on the horizon, towards the future. there is a time to hurt, but there will be a time to pick yourself up and raise your child to be the best man/woman they can be. take it, feel it, use it, and focus on working through this to come out on top and be the best father possible.

p.s.
not all of your family is 2k away, we've all got jeep in our blood and we will be here the best we can for you. your not alone in this brother.

 

[SurfXJSnow]

Sorry to hear it Jonathan!

Sadly, I have been-there, done-that. Her Stepdad's advice is golden, take heed to it. As much as you are trying to sort and resolve the issues, the last thing you need is to come off as some kind of stalker. You have "shut the door open", now give the girl her space with the knowledge that you have not turned your back on her.

That leaves a lot of stuff still up in the air; pure torture for any man. My advice is to focus less on the uncertianties, more on the certianties. You still have to pay bills, maintain your employment, keep all your fingers and toes attached. All that other stuff you agonize over will still be here tomorrow. Right now a sober mind and a clear conscience are good to have.


That's all I can think of off the top, hang in there!

Grump out...

i really, really needed that man. wise words. pretty much brought me to tears... thanks man.

 

[Hypoid]

You are welcome!

 

[SurfXJSnow]

this just really sucks right now...

 

[kingmeirl]

Did you consider you didn't do anything wrong? And if you didn't do anything wrong then who did? My gf told me and my family that she had lung cancer (put my mom in tears who is a 5 time survivor of breast cancer). When I found out it was a lie i dropped her, only to find out she was just scared cause she was pregnant with my child. After we got over that episode I got back together with her and we are married now with another child. My point is that no one does a thing for NO reason. There is always a reason. How sure are you that this child is yours? I know your head is full right now but you need to consider this. For what ever it is worth, she thinks she is doing the best thing for her or her baby. The truth will show itself in time, maybe she is just young and scared. I can't be the judge of that and I wish the best for you man.

 

[Little Jeep]

Pregnant women do strange things. Give her space, and hopefully in the near future, the two of you can sit down and talk. In the mean time, take care of business (paying bills, work, etc.). You have a child together, so no matter what happens, this woman will be in your life forever as no matter what, she will always be your child's Mother. However, I suspect that the pregnancy just has her over whelmed and she needs some space. Her Dad isn't on anyone's side, he is just trying to get the space his Daughter needs. Next time you talk with him, tell him you love his Daughter and would like to talk with her when she is ready.

 

[xj-grin]

lots of good advice, here, Jonathon -- pregnant hormones can be kooky. If you need to just hang or something, come up to HR tomorrow for the ridiculous shaving of heads, and hang with your boys, we're there for you (besides, you can give my drunk, bald ass a ride home!). If you need to just vent, give me a call, I'm just around the corner.

 

[DutchVDub]

Like evrybody said man, give her some space and let her chill for a bit. Her hormones are going crazy and she is probably just freaking a little. She'll come around. Just don't push her because that could drive her away. You left a good message on her phone, just leave it at that and let her make her decision.

You can give me a call and if you don't go up to make fun of Grin's freshly chromed dome tomorrow you can ride with me to illionois gulch.

 

[SurfXJSnow]

you all have great advice, and i appreciate every word. and trust me, im listening. i gave up on the calling after the message i left her. still no word but tomorrows another day. went out tonight with a friend and had a few beers and watched a movie to get my mind off of it. all was good till i got home to the empty apartment and realized what happened today wasnt just a bad dream. life goes on, and no matter what, i will be a part of my childs life. could be hormones, could be something else out of my control... but again, tomorrow is another day, and every minute i spend being sad is one lost minute i could have spent being happy.

thanks again guys. doing my best to keep my chin up.

and Chris, im going to try to make it tomorrow. if i do, count on a ride back.

 

[dotcom]

Do not pick up a bottle and drown your sorrows, worst thing in the world for ya.

Preganacy can cause some real crazy thought processes. My wife could laugh and instantly cry at the drop of a hat. Give her a day or two and try calling again. Have you called her folks and talked to them yet? They might be able to offer some insight as to what's going on.

FWIW, if things don't work out between the two of you, stay focused on your child and don't just walk away...please.

x2 just wait its most likely the hormones and she will come around. when jen was prego she was the craziest person i had ever met, one minute she was in tears the next she was yelling at me. just hang in there and see how it works out.

 

[FlexdXJ]

Like evrybody said man, give her some space and let her chill for a bit. Her hormones are going crazy and she is probably just freaking a little. She'll come around. Just don't push her because that could drive her away. You left a good message on her phone, just leave it at that and let her make her decision.

You can give me a call and if you don't go up to make fun of Grin's freshly chromed dome tomorrow you can ride with me to illionois gulch.

x2 I work with a few girls who are pregnant and one minute they can be fine the next minute they are acting like the biggest bitch you've ever met. Hormonal women are very irrational at times just give her some room and she'll come around. Good luck man!

 

[in4aride]

jonothan...youve seen it before....girls can be almost bi polar with their hormones.....your a pretty snazzy guy so just han in there....everything comes around in the end.....

 

[Boostwerks.com]

Hang in there man. I've never met you, but I honestly feel your pain. The first reaction is always "what did I do, or not do?" but more often than not it has nothing to do with you.

There's good people here and we're here for ya. :farmer:

 

[SurfXJSnow]

well, she came back today. we're "working on things" right now and are not officially "together" right now. her reason for that is unknown and personally, im not going to ask.

im just going to sit in the background for a while, wait it out, and continue on with my life the way it was before the break up. nothing more i can do but wait and see what happens.

somethings totally up though. she quit her job today. so now shes unemployed. kinda seems like she went off the deep end. shes probably just scared.