I think you're going to hard pressed to get people to just "give up" their shim setups.
Most people that did it themselves, have invested a ton of time into getting in the right ball park. Others are professionals and require payment for that kind of information. Nevermind that how your suspension is setup, front/rear weights, sway bar or lack of sway bar, and a host of other variables play into this. No two XJs are going to be similar. One little difference in a characteristic can require a different approach completely.
I would suggest, as others have, to research a bunch of shock theory, and figure out what you're trying to do. Race? Cruise down some trails? Sorry, don't know if you discussed that but I'm not re-reading all of this.
Never understood the obscurity thing. I've got a lot of different backgrounds, but open-source software development had a big influence on me. I've always released everything I learn publicly. I'm sure there are other guys who'd be happy to share their valving. Yea, if it's your job I can understand why you would feel like releasing the secrets of your trade seems like a bad idea, but I'm pretty confident it would only benefit you in the long run. On the rare occasion that I pay someone to do something for me, my decision is always strongly influenced by how willing to share information they are. Again, from my strongest background (software/IT), secrets are scary. I will never recommend black box solutions to any of my clients because if I don't know what's in it and I don't know how it works, I have no reason to trust it. Paying for a black box means you're blindly trusting someone at their word (scary stupid IMO) or in some cases in their reputation (a little better, assuming you've heard good things from people you trust not to be retarded).
In my field, I'm not worried about making things so open and simple that I put myself out of work. Most IT people are awful (thus why everyone hates them) so when a client tells someone about me, I like to know there will only be good things said. Generally when I work myself out of a job, it lands me 3 or 4 new opportunities through word of mouth.
Besides which, when it comes to 4x4 junk, people are usually pretty open. It's all fine and good to be the baddest ass rig on the road, but then you have no one to wheel with

(I have a hell of a time finding people in my area who can keep up, so I end up just building their rigs for them so I've got wheelin' buddies).
how much crap do you have in the back of your xj that the rear weighs 200lbs more then the frt
Fuuuuu! I have no idea how that happened. When I add up everything I've done to it, it doesn't make sense. I probably lost around 100lbs off m y ass recently as I've better organized my trail tools, but still no idea how I'm that rear heavy. I've got the same plating front/rear, roughly same weight in bumpers. The only thing in the back that adds a lot is the swing out carrier and 35" spare, but no amount of math seems to add up to the numbers I'm seeing on the scale. I'd rather lose a few hundred off the rear to balance things out than add it to the front, but as it stands, when I'm climbing out of a mud hole, my weight transfer kills me. My roomies sas'd k1500 usually has less issue pulling out of ruts than I do, and he's on bald 37's.