Lawn Cher'
NAXJA Forum User
- Location
- Westampton, NJ
My wife decided I needed a hobby so she signed me up for a bridge
club---I jump next week
My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to
time an egg.
It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she
won't drink from my glass!
My wife isn't very bright. The other day she was at the store, and
just as she was heading for our car, someone stole it! I said, "Did you
see the guy that did it?" She said, "No, but I got the license plate."
Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy
negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home.
A girl phoned me and said, "Come on over. There's nobody home." I went
over. Nobody was home!
A hooker once told me she had a headache.
I went to a massage parlor. It was self service.
If it weren't for pick-pockets, I'd have no sex life at all.
I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said, "Are you
going to hate yourself in the morning?" She said, "No, I hate myself
now."
I knew a girl so ugly, they use her in prisons to cure sex offenders.
My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the
roaches hang themselves.
I was such an ugly baby, when I was born the Dr. slapped my Mother.
I went to see my Dr. . . Dr. Vinnie Goomba. He asked if I had this
before? I said yes. He said well you got it again.
I'm so ugly I stuck my head out the window and got arrested for mooning!
The other day I came home and a guy was jogging, naked. I asked "Why?"
He said "Because you came home early."
My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for alka-seltzer.
I know I'm not sexy. When I put my underwear on I can hear the Fruit of
the Loom guys giggling.
At my age, I'm envious of a stiff wind.
My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal.
My wife likes to talk on the phone during sex; she called me from
Chicago last night.
