More Jokes

[Vertisce]

My shop is/was(partly) filthy, Have a Cj-7 to work on tomorrow, so wanted it somewhat organized and free brake drum dust on the floor that your son left for me too clean up

So did rook1 decide if he was gonna use your shop or not?

 

[Lawn Cher']

My shop is/was(partly) filthy, Have a Cj-7 to work on tomorrow, so wanted it somewhat organized and free brake drum dust on the floor that your son left for me too clean up

Oh good, you can come do mine next.

I didn't know I had a son.

 

[Beej]

Boy this thread has grown in 8 hours. I glanced at it this morning when I got to work and concocted a witty little response to Vertisce's golden plate-clanging, but its long been dealt with. Too funnay...

 

[Dookie]

this thread won't rival charlie wenzel...



but it's a good one!!

 

[5-90]

No political correctness, anywhere on that one..

Hell - why be "politically correct" when you can just be "correct?" I'm more offended by PC behaviour than I am with someone who is actively TRYING to honk me off...

5-90

 

[Geepfreak]

So did rook1 decide if he was gonna use your shop or not?

Have not heard..

I didn't know I had a son.

Oh, you know Cody is the son you haven't had yet..

Hell - why be "politically correct" when you can just be "correct?" I'm more offended by PC behaviour than I am with someone who is actively TRYING to honk me off...

I SOOO agree with you 5-90......

 

[5-90]

I SOOO agree with you 5-90......

You know, it's so damn hard to start a discussion when so many agree with you. I'd just like to get into a good, intelligent debate here sometime - haven't had one in a while!

5-90

 

[Geepfreak]

You know, it's so damn hard to start a discussion when so many agree with you. I'd just like to get into a good, intelligent debate here sometime - haven't had one in a while!

5-90

I've never been know for being a Master Debater....

 

[5-90]

I'm not looking for a "Master Debater," just someone who knows how to put forth and defend a premise!

I've not been a "Master Debater" either - there's no reason my sex life can't include someone else (I did get married, after all. We bought 'five-year' rings a couple weeks ago. Hers = $1500. Mine = $200. Go figure.)

I guess I just miss debating - I was on my high school debate team for three and a half years (my other area was "Extemporaneous Speaking" - you don't know what you're talking about until 10-15 minutes in advance, when they hand you two index cards and turn you loose in the library for a bit. Gawd, what fun!)

5-90

 

[XJ Dreamin']

Ah well. It was fun while it lasted.

Hey. Is there a way to key the words 'offended' and offensive' so that I get an email or pop-up or something so I can come watch the 'discussion'? I'm always afraid I'm missing out.

 

[8Mud]

Guy walks into a bar with a dog under his arm and sits him down on the barstool next to him.
Bartender asks what will you have? A beer for me and a bowl of water for my pooch.
Bartender says, hey that dog has no legs, it must really be hard to take care of him. I admire you for doing such a humane thing.
Guy says, I do everything for him, feed him and tuck him in to bed.
Bartender asks, what his name? I call him Funny Car. Bartender, whys that?
Because I take him out every night for a drag.

Kind of hard to offend dogs, they like you no matter what you do.

 

[8Mud]

How dogs and men are the same
1. Both take up too much space on the bed.
2. Both have irrational fears about vacuum cleaning.

3. Both mark their territory.

4. Neither tells you what's bothering them.

5. The smaller ones tend to be more nervous.

6. Both have an inordinate fascination with women's crotches.

7. Neither does any dishes.

8. Both fart shamelessly.

9. Neither of them notice when you get your hair cut.

10. Both like dominance games.

11. Both are suspicious of the postman.

12. Neither understands what you see in cats.

 

[XJ Dreamin']

Kind of hard to offend dogs, they like you no matter what you do.

Ah, but the dog lovers...

You're in for it now. PETA Sees All :cyclopian_smiley_rotating_like_a_lighthouse: (You get the idea. I'm not going to spend time now trying make one. It's 11:30 at night.)

I don't think that's going to be good enough to revive the thread, though.

 

[2offroad]

Aha. Another poll. In the joke, the redneck should shoot (pick two):

Mexican___
Iraqi ____
Mormon____
Lutheran____ (that's me :laugh3: )
Catholic____

Who else has been ridiculed in this thread?

Not Lutheran "Catholic lite"

 

[Lawn Cher']

Oh, you know Cody is the son you haven't had yet..

Hmm, I'll have to ponder that for awhile.

 

[Roxtar]

It was post #47 not 74. And I only really got offended when he said to shoot a mormon instead of an Iraqi. Anyway...

Weren't you leaving?


B-Bye


Just a suggestion: If you're this much of thin-skinned, humorless, take myself (and everyone else) too serious, jackass; don't click on joke threads.

 

[Captain Ron]

THE CARDIOLOGIST'S FUNERAL

A cardiologist died and was given an elaborate funeral. A huge heart covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service. Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside. The heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever. At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter.

When all eyes stared at him, he said, "I'm sorry, I was just thinking of my own funeral..... I'm a gynecologist."

That's when the proctologist fainted.

--ron

 

[8Mud]

Weren't you leaving?


B-Bye


Just a suggestion: If you're this much of thin-skinned, humorless, take myself (and everyone else) too serious, jackass; don't click on joke threads.

Hostility comes from high testosterone levels, which comes from "haven't been getting any lately"?

 

[Beej]

:laugh2:

:laugh2:

 

[Lawn Cher']

This thread is like one of those take-a-penny, leave-a-penny trays. If you're gonna laugh, Beej, you gotta add a new joke.