While Emptying Every Pocket over the last six months doing my own lift and some other mods, I went through the same decisions for the same reasons (moderate, not too-risky 4x4/remote camping with the girlfriend).
I didn't buy that exact RE kit, but I did buy the 3.5" leaf packs it uses and paired them up with some Skyjacker coils and takeoff JK Rubicon shocks (junkyard/craigslist builds are so much fun), so my lift height should be right around where you'd end up. I did a lot of pricing/searching/reading on tire sizes trying to decide between 31" and 33", but at the end of the day I realized I was too worried about how it would "look" and that 31 was fine for what I wanted. I also wasn't keen on cutting/removing flares, or the price difference at 33" for that matter. I ended up going with Cooper S/T Maxx 31x10.5x15.
A few things to point out to help in your decision making (assuming your XJ is stock):
- Wheel backspacing - even at 31x10.5 you'll be rubbing at full turn. For that size you'll want either new wheels backspaced at about 4.5"" (IIRC stock XJ wheels are 5.75"??) or some quality wheel spacers i.e. Spidertrax ( I got a used 1 1/4" set which work great)
- Axle/Differential Gearing - I'm still running stock 3.55 gears (likely you are too) and I noticed a big loss in throttle response with the 31s, I wouldn't want to do 33 without regearing.
- On the subject of axles, do you know what kind of rear axle you have? Yours is a later model so hopefully it's the 29spline Chry 8.25 but if it's a Dana 35 you don't want to push larger sizes on that
- Spare Tire something I never thought about, but since you're trying not to get stuck with the GF you definitely want a full spare, and I don't think you can fit something larger than a 31 in the stock spot of the little ole' XJ. If you have a rear tire carrier that's different. Keep in mind putting it on the roof will poorly affect your MPG.
If you really want 33s, I would try to find some 33x9.5x15 (I think BFG A/T comes in this size?). That would be a pretty good balance.
Those are a few thoughts you might not have considered, so hope they help. I've been very pleased with my lift, I get around 20mpg highway and anywhere from 10-15 street/dirt. It handled a "black-diamond" jeep/ATV trail like cake, and some rocked-out old desert mining roads without any scraping issues so far. Make sure you do your bumpstopping correctly. As far as cosmetic looks go, I'm also quite pleased with it - most XJs I see don't have fenders anymore, and I kind of like the classic look: