advice on how to handle a sloppy girlfriend?

[funvtec]

I recently had my girlfriend move in with me and she is a slob! I'm not the cleanliest person in the world but i have always dealt with my own messes. I have very few clothes so its never been a problem doing laundry or having it really pile up. We live in a 2 bedroom apartment one bedroom for my daughter and one bedroom for my girlfriend and I. The biggest problem i have is her amount of clothes i have mountain of dirty clothes in my bedrrom that i have talked, yelled and threatened to throw away. she never takes care of it. She is one of those types that her parents have spoiled her and bought her eerything she wanted, and she loves designer stuff and has it all. I'm off for the next 2 weeks and have decided to start some cleaning. Its already driving me nuts. I've done my best to accomaodate her and her things. She had a fish that never had a filter on it so I bought all the stuff needed to keep the tank nice and clean. i bought her a vanity in the bedroom to keep the bathroom less cluttered only to have the bedroom cluttered with victoria secret sprays and makeup.

I normally work full time and am tired when i get home so i do very little cleaning. I told her that when she moved in i would expect her to do the majority of it since she only works part time and goes to school. When i do clean it has to be perfect why do it if your going to do it half assed. She is still stuck in the mode of cleaning her parents house just to make it look good so she can have her chores done. Such as the bathroom, she will just wipe things down without actaully cleaning it. the chrome will still be all dirty but it will look "better" so she thinks its good enough. She vaccumes alot because it looks good but she never empties the vaccum so when i go to use it its all clogged up and doesn't een pick anything up. i then tell her she is going to break my vaccum if she doesn't take care of it. it never changes.

I need some suggestions on what i can say or do to make her understand that she needs to take of these things. I have asked her to take things back to her moms house because we just dont have the room for it and she has. Trunk loads of clothes have been taken back but its still not enough. I dont even have room to put my clothes in a dresser. I have another dresser i could bring over but i thought 1 dresser would be enought and i didn't want to pack the beedroom full of furnature.

the reason for everything being on the bed is i'm going through and seperating colors from whites right now ( something she never does) so i can start doing laundry. 90% of the clothes are hers

 

[Lowrange2]

Wow, that sucks. I despise for the house to be trashed! How does she vaccum around the cloths...?

When your g/fs room is more trashed than your kids room then it's time to tell her to either straighten it up or find some place else to trash.

Just last week I told my g/f that either the dogs were moving outside or I was moving somewhere else. They trash the house daily. The dogs now reside outside.

 

[blaisetd]

Don't get your hopes up on her changing. My wife sounds like she had the same upbringing as your GF. She and I are opposites. You have to decide if you can live with her faults. HTH blaise

 

[funvtec]

Wow, that sucks. I despise for the house to be trashed! How does she vaccum around the cloths...?

she usually just vaccums the living room and the hallway and my daughters room. we cant vaccum the bedroom

 

[Lowrange2]

I just don't understand how people tolerate that. I get pissed when she misses the laundry basket with a sock. It's hard to miss! My g/f refuses to do the laundry so I have to do all of it! I'm about fed up with it as well. I work full time and go to school full time. I don't have time to do these things.

 

[funvtec]

i dont expect her to be perfect but when she does have time to do things do it right or throw a load of laundry in once in a while so i dont end up doing 20 loads and 3 days worth just to get it done, i could do all my laundry in 3 loads and thats seperating colors from whites and doing towels. i think you can tell from the pictures that most of it is hers and all i did was start seperating whites

 

[98XJSport]

When you figure out the answer to this one, let me know.

 

[smcdonaldaz]

The first time I saw my girlfriend's bedroom(now my wife of 21 years) I gasped. You couldn't see the carpet for all the crap.

Dude, you're screwed, she won't change. Live with it or get out before it cost you half of everything you own.

 

[Lowrange2]

The first time I saw my girlfriend's bedroom(now my wife of 21 years) I gasped. You couldn't see the carpet for all the crap.

Dude, you're screwed, she won't change. Live with it or get out before it cost you half of everything you own.

Yup, that's just about right...

 

[98XJSport]

I could stand clutter, but mine will do stupid things like leave empty containers next to the trash. Just throw the damn thing away.

 

[avnsteve]

how old are you and your girlfriend?

 

[funvtec]

i am 27 and she is 20

 

[RTicUL8]

My advice may seem harsh, but it is sound.

====

Option #1) Keep complaining and have a miserable existence.

Option #2) Shut yer trap and learn to live with it.

Option #3) Kick her out or move out.

Option #4) Keep hoping that she will change and start picking up after herself.
Note: This will NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, happen.
Capisce?

====

 

[funvtec]

My advice may seem harsh, but it is sound.

====

Option #1) Keep complaining and have a miserable existence.

Option #2) Shut yer trap and learn to live with it.

Option #3) Kick her out or move out.

Option #4) Keep hoping that she will change and start picking up after herself.
Note: This will NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, happen.
Capisce?

====

:laugh:

 

[Crusher16]

My girlfriend is the same way. Only difference is, she is in a dorm room, so the clutter is a lot harder to deal with. I complain about it all the time. Doesn't change anything. I help her when she does actually clean, but otherwise, shes on her own.

 

[planefixer]

Start hauling some of her clothes to Goodwill or get used to being her bitch.

 

[goodburbon]

Throw her out, only way to fix it. I married one and now I have to pay for it. Wonderful woman, shitty housewife.

 

[Beej]

Well, no offense to others who are 20 years old, but I think part of the problem is that your girlfriend is still just a kid. Kids are messy and need direction and support from their parents as they figure out what they want to do and who to be in life. Since you're the adult in the household, unfortunately, when your choose a young partner, you're part boyfriend, part spirit guide and part parent.

Plus, I think she's ADHD...

 

[funvtec]

Well, no offense to others who are 20 years old, but I think part of the problem is that your girlfriend is still just a kid. Kids are messy and need direction and support from their parents as they figure out what they want to do and who to be in life. Since you're the adult in the household, unfortunately, when your choose a young partner, you're part boyfriend, part spirit guide and part parent.

Plus, I think she's ADHD...

ADHD has been proven, and i do feel like i'm a parent to her and it sucks as much as i try to bite my tongue and let her deal with her things it gets my blood boiling when everything i have worked so hard to obtain is just left a huge mess. (she didn't have anything when she moved in other than clothes) She is great with my daughter and has been a huge inspiration when i was fighting for custody, i may have given up if it wasn't for her pushing me to keep trying.

 

[XJEEPER]

Just curious, why exactly are you dating? (Playing house?)

If it's to clearly identify qualified candidates for marriage, then what are your qualifications? Might sound hokey, but try writing down (in private) the desired qualities of a future spouse. Sounds like one of the important prerequisites is tidiness.

To expect a spotless home 24/7 is unrealistic, or obsessive, but it appears that you need to raise your sights a little........or lower your expectations.