quote of the day thread..

[BRIANHO13]

She changed her attitued

 

[97XJ2]

Woman comes into work last night (retail), on her husband's arm. She's asked if she needs help finding anything. As she moves into the store I spot a long cane and conclude that she is blind.
Her response, "No thanks, I'm just looking."

It was all I could do to keep my composure after that

Sent from my A1-840 using Tapatalk

 

[seanR]

A blind man with seeing eye dog walks into a shop. The man picks the dog up by his tail and swings him around by it"s tail. The shop keeper sees this and asks why he did that. The blind man replied, ' I just warted to to take a quick look around".

 

[Rubiconkeith]

[no dick pics allowed]

this may get me in trouble

Sent from my LGLS992 using Tapatalk

 

[seanR]

Lar, pulling a napkin out of the crappy napkin holder
in our camper, "I hate this napkin holder. When one comes they all come."
Me, " Kind of like an orgy."
Lar, "I was thinking that too."

 

[XJ&CHZ4ME]

"Roofies are for rookies, the real skill set comes from having minimal game and a bottle of Purple Passion".

 

[seanR]

"Why do you do things that annoy yourself?"
-Lar

 

[macgyvr]

"We've never won a race, but we've never lost a party" -Team Indiana Ultra4

 

[seanR]

Picked up a couple sandwiches Sunday for lunch at the grocery store deli.
There was a young (high school age?) gal and a twenty something duy working there.
Me to young gal-"We each want a sub sandwich."
Her with confused look-"Um, I don't know how to make the sandwiches"
Me-"You better learn or you will never find a good man!"
I wanted to add that perhaps she should hone "other skills" also, but Lar was already glaring at me.

 

[vt98xj]

Picked up a couple sandwiches Sunday for lunch at the grocery store deli.
There was a young (high school age?) gal and a twenty something duy working there.
Me to young gal-"We each want a sub sandwich."
Her with confused look-"Um, I don't know how to make the sandwiches"
Me-"You better learn or you will never find a good man!"
I wanted to add that perhaps she should hone "other skills" also, but Lar was already glaring at me.

How in the hell do you not know how to make a sandwich; bread, meat, veggies and some other stuff.

I am 30 and sometimes hate the younger generation....

 

[BRIANHO13]

How in the hell do you not know how to make a sandwich; bread, meat, veggies and some other stuff.

I am 30 and sometimes hate the younger generation....

Well you failed, because you added veggies. ****ing younger generation......

 

[vt98xj]

Well you failed, because you added veggies. ****ing younger generation......

I didn't say vegetarian/vegan or hummus :dunno:

 

[REWSTER]

So I'm at Walmart on Friday and I hear this kid being annoying. I look over and see his mother holding him by the back of the neck. She must have saw me because she said "don't give me that look into can discipline my kid how ever I want". I said as I walked pass "the little shit probably deserved it" she let out a sigh and told me not to call her kid a little shit. I laughed as I walked away,looking for the wife and my little shits.

 

[seanR]

"Marshal is a much better motorboater than you are."- Grace to Matt

 

[seanR]

This morning I was telling Lar good by before she left for work.
She had been blabbering on and on about stuff all morning.
I gave her a hug and she asked me what I was thinking about.
"I am picturing you with a sock stuffed in your yap."

At least it is quite here now.

 

[seanR]

Hillary's poll numbers are going down faster than Bill's pants in an Arkansas trailer park.

 

[seanR]

Lar- "I am not your mother."
Me- "Good thing, because what we did last night would be pretty gross."

 

[macgyvr]

G- "MJ just ripped the third candelabra out of the living room window (in the last 12 hours) and broke it!"

Me- "Do you know what the definition of insanity is?"

 

[seanR]

"If it ain't broken, keep fixing it untill it is broken!"

 

[BRIANHO13]

did you cut another live wire?