jeepdude10000
NAXJA Forum User
- Location
- LaLa land!
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
-
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Million Post March. When will NAXJA reach 1 million posts?
- Thread starter Glenn B
- Start date
- Status
EricT
NAXJA Forum User
- Location
- Idaho Falls, ID
happy b-day to me :cheers: party1:
jeepdude10000
NAXJA Forum User
- Location
- LaLa land!
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
Root Moose
NAXJA Forum User
- Location
- ON, Canada
UNIX is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity.
— Dennis Ritchie
— Dennis Ritchie
Root Moose
NAXJA Forum User
- Location
- ON, Canada
Whohoo! Happy Bday to you Eric.EricT said:
jeepdude10000
NAXJA Forum User
- Location
- LaLa land!
EricT said:
i know its the wrong jeep , cant have everything
Root Moose
NAXJA Forum User
- Location
- ON, Canada
Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
— unknown
— unknown
Root Moose
NAXJA Forum User
- Location
- ON, Canada
One of the greatest delusions in the world is the hope that the evils in this world are to be cured by legislation.
— Thomas B. Reed
— Thomas B. Reed
Root Moose
NAXJA Forum User
- Location
- ON, Canada
The object of the superior man is truth.
— Confucius
— Confucius
Root Moose
NAXJA Forum User
- Location
- ON, Canada
The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist.
— Kevin Spacey as Verbal Kint in the movie The Usual Suspects
— Kevin Spacey as Verbal Kint in the movie The Usual Suspects
jeepdude10000
NAXJA Forum User
- Location
- LaLa land!
The Hotel Bill
Next time you think your hotel bill is too high you
might want to consider this...
A husband and wife are traveling by car from Key West
to Boston.
After almost twenty-four hours on the road, they're
too tired to continue, and they decide to stop for a
rest.
They stop at a nice hotel and take a room, but they
only plan to sleep for four hours and then get back on
the road. When they check out four hours later, the
desk clerk hands them a bill for $350.
The man explodes and demands to know why the charge is
so high. He tells the clerk although it's a nice
hotel, the rooms certainly aren't worth $350.
When the clerk tells him $350 is the standard rate,
the man insists on speaking to the Manager.
The Manager appears, listens to the man, and then
explains that the hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and
a huge conference center that were available for the
husband and wife to use.
"But we didn't use them," the man complains.
"Well, they are here, and you could have," explains
the Manager.
He goes on to explain they could have taken in one of
the shows for which the hotel is famous. "The best
entertainers from New York, Hollywood and Las Vegas
perform here," the Manager says.
"But we didn't go to any of those shows, "complains
the man again
"Well, we have them, and you could have," the Manager
replies.
No matter what facility the Manager mentions, the man
replies, "But we didn't use it!"
The Manager is unmoved, and eventually the man gives
up and agrees to pay. He writes a check and gives it
to the Manager
The Manager is surprised when he looks at the check.
"But sir," he says, this check is only made out for
$50."
"That's correct," says the man. "I charged you $300
for sleeping with my wife."
"But I didn't!" exclaims the Manager.
"Well, too bad," the man replies. "She was here and
you could have."
Next time you think your hotel bill is too high you
might want to consider this...
A husband and wife are traveling by car from Key West
to Boston.
After almost twenty-four hours on the road, they're
too tired to continue, and they decide to stop for a
rest.
They stop at a nice hotel and take a room, but they
only plan to sleep for four hours and then get back on
the road. When they check out four hours later, the
desk clerk hands them a bill for $350.
The man explodes and demands to know why the charge is
so high. He tells the clerk although it's a nice
hotel, the rooms certainly aren't worth $350.
When the clerk tells him $350 is the standard rate,
the man insists on speaking to the Manager.
The Manager appears, listens to the man, and then
explains that the hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and
a huge conference center that were available for the
husband and wife to use.
"But we didn't use them," the man complains.
"Well, they are here, and you could have," explains
the Manager.
He goes on to explain they could have taken in one of
the shows for which the hotel is famous. "The best
entertainers from New York, Hollywood and Las Vegas
perform here," the Manager says.
"But we didn't go to any of those shows, "complains
the man again
"Well, we have them, and you could have," the Manager
replies.
No matter what facility the Manager mentions, the man
replies, "But we didn't use it!"
The Manager is unmoved, and eventually the man gives
up and agrees to pay. He writes a check and gives it
to the Manager
The Manager is surprised when he looks at the check.
"But sir," he says, this check is only made out for
$50."
"That's correct," says the man. "I charged you $300
for sleeping with my wife."
"But I didn't!" exclaims the Manager.
"Well, too bad," the man replies. "She was here and
you could have."
Root Moose
NAXJA Forum User
- Location
- ON, Canada
The time not to become a father is eighteen years before a war.
— E. B. White
— E. B. White
jeepdude10000
NAXJA Forum User
- Location
- LaLa land!
Inner Strength
If you can start the day without caffeine,
If you can get going without pep pills,
If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,
If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,
If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it,
If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time,
If you can take criticism and blame without resentment
If you can ignore a friend's limited education and never correct him,
If you can resist treating a rich friend better than a poor friend,
If you can conquer tension without medical help,
If you can relax without liquor,
If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,
..Then You Are Probably The Family Dog!
If you can start the day without caffeine,
If you can get going without pep pills,
If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,
If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,
If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it,
If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time,
If you can take criticism and blame without resentment
If you can ignore a friend's limited education and never correct him,
If you can resist treating a rich friend better than a poor friend,
If you can conquer tension without medical help,
If you can relax without liquor,
If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,
..Then You Are Probably The Family Dog!
jeepdude10000
NAXJA Forum User
- Location
- LaLa land!
To remove a bandage painlessly, saturate the bandage with vodka. The solvent dissolves adhesive
jeepdude10000
NAXJA Forum User
- Location
- LaLa land!
To clean the caulking around bathtubs and showers, fill a trigger-spray bottle with vodka, spray the caulking, let set five minutes and wash clean. The alcohol in the vodka kills mold and mildew.
Root Moose
NAXJA Forum User
- Location
- ON, Canada
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
— Edsgar Dijkstra
— Edsgar Dijkstra
jeepdude10000
NAXJA Forum User
- Location
- LaLa land!
Add a jigger of vodka to a 12-ounce bottle of shampoo. The alcohol cleanses the scalp, removes toxins from hair, and stimulates the growth of healthy hair.
Root Moose
NAXJA Forum User
- Location
- ON, Canada
UNIX was not designed to stop its users from doing stupid things, as that would also stop them from doing clever things.
— Doug Gwyn
— Doug Gwyn
Root Moose
NAXJA Forum User
- Location
- ON, Canada
Form follows function.
— Louis Henri Sullivan, "Lippincott's Magazine", March, 1896
— Louis Henri Sullivan, "Lippincott's Magazine", March, 1896
jeepdude10000
NAXJA Forum User
- Location
- LaLa land!
Pour one-half cup vodka and one-half cup water in a Ziplock freezer bag and freeze for a slushy, refreshable ice pack for aches, pain or black eyes.
- Status
