Are there any other baristas on the forums?

acrid said:
on the starf#ck's topic, [...] they just push buttons, that's like saying the someone the works are Wendy's is a chef....
I totally agree. I stopped into a Starbucks for the first time two weeks ago (I was passing by, and my passenger said that she'd pay, otherwise I wouldn't've). I was under the impression that Starbucks had automatic grinding, dosing, and tamping, and that the person behind the counter still had to put the portafilter into the espresso machine. Not so; everything is automated. To get a shot, all the employee does is push a button on a big silver box.

When I went to Starbucks, I asked for an eight-ounce dry cappucino, a straight-forward drink (to me at least). The PBTC (person behind the counter) didn't want to let me have an 'eight-ounce' drink. She wanted me to call it a 'short'. I had to insist, literally four or five times, that I didn't care what the Starbucks-ese name for it was, I just wanted an eight-ounce dry cappucino.

I walked around to a position where I could watch her make the drink, since I'm a barista myself and was curious. For those of you not in the know, if you foam milk (like for a cappucino), and you do it properly, you'll end up with roughly twice the volume of milk you started with. So for an eight-ounce drink, you don't need very much milk. The PBTC must have put about twenty ounces of milk in the pitcher (way, way, way too much milk. That's just a waste). The way she foamed it was the way that every real barista is taught not to do it. Ideally, you get the milk swirling in a vortex in the pitcher, which keeps the bubbles down, and the result is a nice, glossy 'microfoam'. The Starbucks employee didn't swirl the milk in the pitcher at all, which not only leads to an unequal heat distribution in the cup, it creates huge 'soap bubbles' of milk, which is exactly what you don't want in a cappucino.

She then pushed a button on the machine and some espresso poured out (very quickly, I might add: a perfect shot takes ~27 seconds to pull, about half that for a ristretto and twice that for a lungo. The Starbucks espresso took about three seconds) into a shot glass. Why she didn't put it right into the cup, I don't know. She poured it into the cup, glopped some milk foam onto it, and then committed the most egregious error of the night, which proved beyond a doubt that she was no barista: she stirred the cappucino before pouring in some of the steamed milk. I asked for a dry cappucino, which means 'lots of milk foam, very little steamed (liquid) milk. Stirring milk foam turns it back into a liquid. If you stir a cappucino, you turn it into a latte. In retrospect, I should have made her make me another one, but it was late and I just wanted to go home.

After the PBTC had finished making my 'cappucino', I decided to ask her a few questions about the machine. I asked if the machine adjusted itself for humidity, or if it had to be adjusted manually by a human being. "We check it every hour", she replied. I told her that that didn't answer my question, and repeated it. Again, "We check it every hour" was her reply. "Will that machine make a ristretto shot?" I asked. "A what?". That did it for me. She clearly knew nowhere near enough to be considered a barista.

Wow, that turned into a long post.
 
A wise-ass family member gave me a hundred dollar Starbucks card which I will probably not ever be able to use up. I really enjoy going in there and ordering either a "small double-double" or a "small coffee".

For those not in the know, a double-double is an expression for a Tim Horton's two cream and two sugar coffee. This frustrates the hell out of them since "real" coffee drinkers (like the half-wit desperate housewives that frequent most Starbucks) usually pooh-pooh Timmy Ho's.

The "small coffee" gets under their skin quickly when its all I repeat amongst their questions of "do you want a tall or a short?", "dark roast or light roast?" or "room for cream?".

Starfux can lick my little barista; their beans are burnt and they can't make a half decent espresso with their autocoffeeboxes to save their lives...
 
I dunno about the USA but in Kuwait (the land of 10,000 Starbucks) they push those additives such as carmel and other flavors and then everything they offer is 300fils (1.something USD) more to your order, so by the time the mumbling Filipino is done, your bill is like 2.450KD or $8.45 and I still have no idea what I ordered.

I like the warm stuff that comes in a little mug for 1.050KD
 
Dammit!! All this talk about coffee! Now I gotta go take a leak! :shiver:

Dad always said, "Never pass the bathroom and NEVER trust a fart!"
:passgas: :(
 
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