A MORE Interesting topic for discussion

[RTicUL8]

So last night my daughter(13), picks up my daughter(3mo.) who had just finished eating, and held her on the back of our golden retriever for a “doggie ride.” My daughter(3mo.) puked (more like gushed) on the dog’s head.
Baby starts crying, dog shakes head and spreads baby puke all over the living room, baby gets scared and starts crying louder…

and I, who am watching from the other room, make a quick and quiet b-line for the garage. :laugh3:

 

[Darky]

That's hilarious! I have a 7 month old and she cries over just about anything that scares her.

 

[FitchVA]

hahaha. too funny. that's one part about being an uncle that i love. i don't have to deal with any of that crap. my job is to spoil them as much as possible and always be the good guy.

 

[Lawn Cher']

Nice move, super dad. What aspect of your anecdote are we supposed to discuss?

 

[RTicUL8]

Nice move, super dad. What aspect of your anecdote are we supposed to discuss?

Whatever you want. And see, my post all fit on one page :thumbup:

 

[Dirk Pitt]

That poor man's best friend!

Reaffirming my beliefs that children are the antichrist.

Yes, I realize I was once one and I wouldn't have wanted to be around me either.

:sunshine:

 

[rock rash]

That poor man's best friend!

Reaffirming my beliefs that children are the antichrist.

Yes, I realize I was once one and I wouldn't have wanted to be around me either.

:sunshine:

Me niether!!!

 

[Lawn Cher']

I was a perfect angel. :angel:




















And if you'll buy that I've got a Super 35 kit for sale too.

 

[FitchVA]

I was a perfect angel. :angel:

And if you'll buy that I've got a Super 35 kit for sale too.

that'll make it stronger than a d60 won't it? :laugh3:

 

[Lawn Cher']

that'll make it stronger than a d60 won't it? :laugh3:

Yeah, and with super high ground clearance. Its da bomb, yo.

 

[Matthew Currie]

I'll see that puke and raise it....Once long ago my daughter had a nasty case of the flu. We discovered this when she stood at the top of the stairs and puked down the entire flight, at the bottom of which was the return air register for the furnace.

My youngest son, at about 2, once produced a similar effect heightened by having just eaten an entire bag of cheese flavored nacho chips. He was next to me in the cab of a pickup truck, nicely elevated on a booster seat. It was instantaneous, and totally without warning, and so funny I almost forgot how disgusting it was, especially since he was kind enough to direct it into my lap. That was kid #3, by which time I wasn't ever without at least one roll of paper towels, a couple of diapers, a bottle of water and a can of baby wipes, so it barely slowed us down.

It's like expanding foam. You wonder how that much stuff could have come out of such a small container.

 

[RichP]

I puked out the window of my roommates van once at about 20 mph, after a full new england lobster dinner and 21 black russians, guy in the car behind us had to turn his windshield wipers on.....corpsman said if I hadn't a puked I woulda died from alchol poisioning...so I guess it was a good thing...

For years I had this picuture in the back of my mind of the guy pulling pieces of lobster and clams out of his grill....

 

[bjoehandley]

ROFLMFAO

Got a couple about my sister;

We were out of town visiting relatives and my sister was still on babyfood, Dad was trying to feed her on the bed in the hotel and she suddenly puked, in his beard, down his shirt, on the wall behind the bed and down the back of the headboard!

Another time Mom was feeding her and she let loose into the pocket of the shirt Mom was wearing, filling the pocket to the top.

 

[5-90]

See, there ARE some compensations to having an older wife! We just got her other son to move out, and we're very nearly alone...

Anyone ever watch Red Dwarf? "Think of all the beautiful, wonderful things about having children!" "Like what?" "Like when they grow up and move out..."

Nothing against kids - but I've never had patience for them - not much - and I didn't really even like ME when I was a kid... (No illusions here - mom had to keep me on a leash until I was six...)

5-90

 

[RTicUL8]

I guess I started a puke thread? Huh?

When my daughter(13) was 3 years old, my wife and I took her on a tour of the Cave of the Winds (Colorado Springs). She was riding on mom's back - in a carrier. We were half way throught the tour and she says "Mom, I don't feel so..." BLACH uke: :exclamati She spewed all over mom's back. The tour guide was pissed that we interruped her tour. Mom didn't have a spare shirt and we had to buy one at the tourist shop.

 

[wescam]

i was drunk once (while young and stupid, and this was the mid 80s) and driving home.

i had a large spit cup (Copenhagen) that hadn't been emptied that day (to school, home, ball game, bonfire party, long day) and needed to empty it or toss it...

since i had a good buzz, i figured I'd just toss it out the window

well, long story short, the passenger window was rolled up and that's the direction I threw it.

(edit, not puke, but simialr)

 

[rockwerks]

I was 20 when I bought a 79 454 full size balxer got it in the morning and went to work did a litle wheelin with a friend that afternoon and we went to the Sundowner for dinner afterward. 2 bowls of New England clam chowder and 4 pitchers of beer later I started to drive home. it was about 3 miles to my house, 1 mile through town stop and go every 1/4 mile or less, which was ok then I got to drive continious up the street to my house. I noticed a nice lil lope the blazer had it made my head spin, luckily there was a cu lde sac every few hundred feet and I think I puked in every one on the way home.

I learned 2 lessons:

Never drive drunk

Never drink heavily after eating alot of clam chowder. (it does not taste as good the second time)

 

[againstherwill]

two story's

One: Went to Disney with Friends and their kids. 9, 6 and 2 1/2. Had a Great Breakfast at the Castle. Great for two reasons. Food was Incredible (French toast stuffed with cream cheese. The view of the princesses was incredible. My Friend his 9 year and I were staring at each and everyone. Nothing like a 20 something in a Jasmin costume, but I digress. Any was we have this big breakfast and then decide to go to Epcot. On the way over we are ridin the Disney Bus and I look over at the 2 1/2 yo and she is looking Green. The best part is she is looking green while strapped in to one of those backpack carriers on my friends back.
Just as I am about to say something to him the kid spews down his back what looke to be three gallons of breakfast. This is 5 minutes into a 15 minute ride. Everybody moves to give him room. When we get to epcot they have to take him and the kid to alone back to the hotel then they have to completely disinfect the whole bus.

Two: Wife's best friend, her guy at the time and my wife and i are out on the town and have a good time. We go to a nice little Italian place in MPLS. She has Speghetti and marinara 7 long islands over the course of 3 hours. now she is 5'6' and weighs maybe a buck 30; she hold her liquor well but 7 longs in 3 is a lot of alchol for anybody. I make sure her guy drives and calls me to let me know they get home okay. Next day we go to meet them at there place and I walk past her car and the pass side has speghetti noodles plastered to the care. ANd not just one or two but a whole handfull. She of course doesn't even remeber it happening. Needless to say we do and don't ever let her forget that longs and speghetti don't mix.

 

[RTicUL8]

...
Two: Wife's best friend, her guy at the time and my wife and i are out on the town and have a good time. We go to a nice little Italian place in MPLS. She has Speghetti and marinara 7 long islands over the course of 3 hours. now she is 5'6' and weighs maybe a buck 30; she hold her liquor well but 7 longs in 3 is a lot of alchol for anybody. I make sure her guy drives and calls me to let me know they get home okay. Next day we go to meet them at there place and I walk past her car and the pass side has speghetti noodles plastered to the care. ANd not just one or two but a whole handfull. She of course doesn't even remeber it happening. Needless to say we do and don't ever let her forget that longs and speghetti don't mix.

Ha! My wife just called. "Do you want to go to the Spaghetti Factory tonight?" :chef:

 

[Fergie]

Well, I'll introduce poo into the thread.

We were at my brother in laws in MO, and were visiting a hostpital in Quincy where my sister in law is doing her residency. The other residents take us out to some crappy old person restaurant, but the swear "the food is great!". Well, the food sucked, and we came home.

Fat forward to the morning after. My bro and sis in law are touring the hospital and the wife and I are watching their two kids, 1 and 3. Wife is in the shower, and I am playing with the kids. I smell some funk, and start checking butts. Well, my niece is the stinky one, and she just has a huge grin on her face.

So I get the diaper stuff out and go to change her diaper and get the jumper off, and look down to see my hands entirely covered in thick poo....with whole mushrooms in it from dinner the night before. I nearly gag, hook my thumbs under her arms, pick her up and start hollering for the wife.

I bring my niece to the wife, and my wife cant stop laughing at me as I try to stay mad and not dry heave. Had the smell of poop of my hands for the rest of the day, and have a good story to tell at my nieces wedding in the far future.

Fergie