Some off road Poetry

[nosigma]

Who knew that off road events could inspire poetry?
Here is a sample of a few....

_________________________________
Bigger lift
Bigger Tire
Dana 35 will explode and catch Fire

You need armor
You need Rails
Mandatory mods to ride these Trails

Sway bar disconnects
At least one Locker
These big boulders will crush a stocker

The trail is off camber
The hill is Steep
Ignore your spotter and you will Weep

Up ahead is a ledge
Its a big scarey Drop
Take the wrong line, your gonna Flop

The rocks are hungry
The rocks are Boss
You'll never forget this day at Chaos

When you get home
You can tell the Honey
Dont get upset, its only Money

So your rig was too big
So you were too cool
You didnt come to the Cove to get DST skooled?

This is your turn
Now is is your chance
Time to put on your big girl pants

Coming soon, Level II Driver Spotter Training at Chaos park, June 27-28.

John
______________________________________

 

[nosigma]

After the old RCPFA (Crozet Park) closed down I wrote this to go with the ebay auction of the trail signs.
_______________________________________________

So many good signs
So many good times

I tell the newbies about back in the day
When I used a winch on Bucolic Byway

Pastoral, Petes, Hecklers Hill
Stock & 31's made them a thrill

Peninsula Jeep your taking a chance
Turn left onto PUSI crap your pants

Get the high lift out for Boulder Byway
Need a just a strap?
Your on Hard Rock Highway

XJ's loose mirrors on Little Creek Run
Rocky Ravine though black is more fun

Suicide Sluice to O C C,
Log Sluice to Gulge,
Which will it be?

Dana 35
What joke
Dana 60's too will smoke

High & low, blue black and red
Pick the wrong line
Your rig is dead

Thats not so hard, hold my brain, watch this
Chop the XJ, a Body Shop kiss

Sadly the trails have gone away
Buying memories off of ebay

________________________________________

 

[nosigma]

I know how much you have all been missing my great poetry from all the PM's I have been getting so I figured I better post up some new prose to make everyone happy.

The rocks are slick, the rocks are deep
The rocks have been punished, so was my Jeep
Corum, Corum, Corum
I love to brag on the forum
The rocks are hiding, the rocks will feel pain
I am getting new tires that can take the strain
Corum, Corum, Corum
I love to brag on the forum
The rocks are angry, the rocks live in fear
My Jeep had death wobble, I could not steer.
Drive a Jeep unibody and get a free beer.
Corum, Corum, Corum
I love to brag on the forum

As always if you show up driving a Jeep unibody you get a beer on me.

 

[nosigma]

This was written for last weekend in December ride that can range from a terrifying ride on ice covered trails that are so bad you end up spending night on a mountain is sub zero weather to a lazy day on dusty trails in a T-shirt.....
___________________________________________

Slippin 'n sliddin 'n burnin the winch
Give her all the throttle, move not an inch

U cant go the distance
U wont get no speed
U freeze to death in your hour of need

lift 'n armor do you no good
stay on da porch, back in da hood

U cant go the distance
U wont get no speed
U freeze to death in your hour of need

MT's, Lockas, chromo shaft
mo u try, mo u chaffed

U cant go the distance
U wont get no speed
U freeze to death in your hour of need

Not ice but rocks you built it fo
Stuck ova nite on ol flag po

U cant go the distance
U wont get no speed
U freeze to death in your hour of need

JK or TJ it wont matter 5hit
Johnson n Beava all frost bit

U cant go the distance
U wont get no speed
U freeze to death in your hour of need

______________________________________________

 

[nosigma]

For a meet and greet

Christmas is over
New years has past
February is flying by fast

M&G in weeks two
Crozet in weeks three
Unibody* drivers get a free beer on me

Elections this month
Chilli cook off the next
Never drive and text

(Yeah that ones weak)

Come talk to the club president
Your chance to gripe and whine
Tell me whats wrong, tell me whats fine

Bring me your issues, feel free to opine.

Date: MONDAY February 27 2012
Time: 6:00pm
Location: Hooters Farifax 10334 Fairfax Blvd, Fairfax, VA 22030
(I have to leave around 8 due to work in Norfolk Tuesday morning)

*XJ, MJ, ZJ, KJ, XK ie any Jeep Unibody.

 

[nosigma]

Another meet and greet poem


___________________________

Tires and winches under the tree,
Tell us if Santa was good to thee

Unibody* drivers get a free beer on me

The 2012 calendar is full, that much is clear
Trails that area easy, trails you should fear

Tell us what trails you will drive next year?

Come talk to the club president, gripe and whine
Tell me whats wrong, tell me what fine

Bring me your issues, feel free to opine.


Date: Dec 29 2011
Time: 7pm
Location: Hooters Farifax 10334 Fairfax Blvd, Fairfax, VA 22030

 

[nosigma]

Sorry to bump my own post but I need to keep it updated: Ode to Rock Creek

Lonely sad rocks. It was not always so
Under a thousand feet of packed ice and snow
Caressed, then crushed, finally rolled to and fro'

A mile long these rocks they lay
For a million years here they would stay
Frozen in darkness awaiting light of day

Slowly receded, north the glacier would creep
Suns warmth ice melted, rocks soon not so deep
Awaiting the day of the conquering Jeep.

Millennia twenty till off the icy mantle shook
Water soon ran, a stream, a river, a brook
Rock creek appeared, FJ's scared to look

Patiently awaiting, who would it be?
Wrongler, Scrambler or Cherokee?
My skids briefly tasted, now lying in wait for me

Fall, winter or spring, soon to return
North to South the rocks will feel the burn
I shall punish the rocks, a terrible lesson they will learn

John

 

[Kejtar]

All I gotta ask..... What are you drinking

 

[johnnyc]

What, no poem about my Rubicon "incident"? You were there, after all.

 

[Wayne Sihler]

All I gotta ask..... What are you drinking

It,s the water. All of NoVa has the same problem,,,,just look at your Govt.

 

[Kejtar]

Where is the damn like button

 

[Anak]

:clap:

 

[nosigma]

A teaser to get our local club members thinking about our end of the year Flag Pole run in December (see post April 3 20:14 hrs). FFR is the Fall Foliage Ride. Potts is Potts Mountain in central Virginia. Toughest trail on public land in Va, about 7 miles long. Porsche refers to a ride with the local PCA chapter where take Cayenne's and Macan's out for an off road adventrue:
___________________________________

Potts in a week, FFR in two
Porsches after that, then nothing to do

Not so fast, wait a minute, hold
Lets do a ride when it should be cold

If it snows a lot you better pray
If it snows a lot on Flag Pole you stay

We'll come back in the spring to collect whats left
You can call GEICO and say it was theft

 

[Frank Z]

Roses are red
Violets are blue
My heep is jackstands...
STILL!

@#$^%$^

 

[97xjnova]

Lol John u rock

 

[nosigma]

What, no poem about my Rubicon "incident"? You were there, after all.

You must have forgotten. My daughter Emma was there at the age of 9, immortalized you in song when she was 11 back in 2007.
( http://www.naxja.net/forum/showthread.php?p=243601622 ) copied below....


I was out in the driveway fixing my latest damage from Crozet Saturday when my daughter sits down next to me and starts singing...

(To the tune of She's coming round the mountain)

When Johnny comes down the mountain he will roll, he will roll
When Johnny comes down the mountain he will roll, he will roll
When Johnny comes down the mountain,
When Johnny comes down the mountain,
When Johnny comes down the mountain, he's OK, he's OK.

I guess you left a lasting impression (especially the OK part) even though its been just over a year.

 

[johnnyc]

Haha. Don't know how I forgot about that. So Emma is a teenager now? That's hard to believe. We're getting old, John.

 

[nosigma]

Haha. Don't know how I forgot about that. So Emma is a teenager now? That's hard to believe. We're getting old, John.

Off to college next year. We are not getting old, were are becoming mentors for the next generation of crazies. Someone has to show them how its done!!!

John