You won't believe this!

Eagle

Lifetime NAXJA Member
NAXJA Member
Location
Terra Firma
I found the following on a local Jeep forum, where someone had copied it in from an Audi forum. I thought it must be an April Fool's post, but the guys on the Jeep forum back-tracked it and they claim it appears to be genuine:

Hey guys, please help with my mods gone wrong...

Hey guys, I've got a 98 1.8T. I've had a k04 and chip for a while and wanted to get more performance. I was recommended to port and polish the intake and exhaust. We found out they used abrasive material to do it like gritty sand. So I got with my friend that tunes Hondas and we decided to try it ourselves. We got a bag of sandblasting sand and hooked up into the intake and started the car. We had to hold the gas so it
would run. He wanted to let the engine suck in the sand through the intake so it would port it out and then push it out the ehxaust so it would port the exhaust manifold.

I was worried that it might cause problems but he figured it'd be OK as long as we didn't make boost and it get sucked in the turbo. After running the car and letting it suck in sand we got about half way through a 25 lb bag. The check engine light was on and the engine was bucking and kicking and sounding really weird. We stopped and hooked the car back up normal and took off the sand supply. We tried to start it again and it was really hard. Once started it couldn't idle and kept making weird noises. We took it out and drove it and it started to make scraping and knocking noises.
Help! Can anyone tell me what to do! My buddy only does Hondas so he doesn't know much about Audis.

Sounds like this guy's buddy doesn't know much about Hondas, either. With friends like this, who needs enemies?
 
I believe you.

Someone would have to be much more imaginative than I am to think up something that stupid.

Sometimes reality is stranger than fiction.
 
Yes this was posted long before April 1st and no I don't think it is true. How long do you think the turbo or the cylinder walls would hold up to a bag of sand? I would give it a cup of sand before she stops completely. I think it was a very good practical joke to get the smart people to say dumbass and the dumb people to try it.
 
They call that 'extrude-honing' IIRC, but it usually works best when the abrasive is in 'paste' form and the parts are off the engine. Bless their heart for good ole yankee enginuity tho! Keep in mind these kids will have real jobs one day. Be very afraid!

My rich neighbor spent a new Ariens snowblower engine using it as a leafpile mover...funny how snowblowers didn't have good air filters on them back in the day. I bet they put lotsa warning stickers on em now :) Anyway that engine was a great cutaway prop for a 6th grade science-fair project on internal combustion engines.

I watched a guy feed a pair of GI mechanix coveralls into the intake of a runaway 6V71 Detroit in a M113. (The quill shaft let go, and the sucker was on the fast-track to Armageddon anyway)

We tried flopping a clipboard over the intake, but it kept on, so SGT "Superdave" Fields shed his coveralls and fed the beast. It worked LOL! I dunno if I ever laughed so hard. It was the 1st Brigade CO's APC, HQ66, and I bet Superdave went down in infamy once 3rd shop pulled that pack apart.
 
We used to put rocks and various things down the carbs of the vehicles that were in impound too long that we knew wouldn't sell. It's surprising what will and won't stop an engine, but a whole cup (8 oz.) of sand will stop one up PDQ.

We had a Pinto that wouldn't die for a few hours........we were throwing rocks down it that would barely fit down the throttle bores.




We weren't the brightest kids......
 
So that's what happened to my Pinto!! You fricken kids! If I get my hand on you I'm gonna shove sausages down your throat and stick starving dogs up your azz!!
 
JnJ said:
So that's what happened to my Pinto!! You fricken kids! If I get my hand on you I'm gonna shove sausages down your throat and stick starving dogs up your azz!!


It was an impounded vehicle that was processed through the impound yard. Title was transferred to the state of Utah and then transfered to the impound yard to relinquish all fees for towing and storage. :D



I'm sure I could find you another Pinto......kind of a long drive from San Antonio.....
 
Given what they're (not) teaching in schools these days, I'd be only mildly surprised if this was an actual tale of idiocy. I work week-ends at an outdoor range, and I see things every week-end that make me cringe and begin wishing for some sort of eugenics programme...

I recently found out that there is pretty much NO trades-related education (read: "shop class") in the California public school system anymore? I know that this is where Tech really got started, but someone has to keep the yuppiewagons going, you know. Besides, these fools screw up coffee - what makes anyone think they can actually do something important?

5-90
 
I can tell you about tech classes, in 1997 the most advanced computer class at South Torrance High School was Programming in Basic (on an Apple IIe!). The only auto shop was Auto Shop I, there was Wood I, that was it. Not enough budget to afford the expertise, equipment, and insurance.
 
GSequoia said:
Not enough budget to afford the expertise, equipment, and insurance.


The mandate to have teachers with full education credential's killed the Industrial Arts classes in California. Most shop teachers only obtained a Vocational Teaching Credential, and failed to pass the CBEST or other education testing and college level teaching classwork. The result is the pool of these "hands on" teachers was eliminated through the drive for miniminum standards for teachers.

I don't know about you, but I did not need my shop teacher to be able to quote literature, act as a child psychologist, and identify the different types of student learning disabilities -- to be able to effectively teach shop class. I can find teachers (and student teachers) who can do these functions at any University, but try to find one who can freehand an elevation and plan view of a part, set up a table saw for a dovetail joint, or layout a toolbox or clothing pattern from scratch?

This should be a warning for other states when they start demanding minimum teaching credentials, because it may also eliminate the majority of vocational education skills from the classroom.
 
TOO LATE!

We have similar minimum standards in Connecticut, and all it results in is a bunch or sheeple with "book larnin' " but no street smarts, and no marketable skills. I am currently enrolled in an adult ed course in Spanish, taught by a member of the regular junior high faculty. She's a Spanish teacher, and she admits that she is not fluent in Spanish. I wouldn't even want to think who (or what) is teaching "power mechanics" (we can't call it "auto shop" any more), or how much they don't know.
 
I always considered that I would enjoy teaching Vocational Arts, but never considered that I would be underqualified. The criteria is waived if you have a Masters Degree (and what does that prove).

Talking with the local Middle School Principle leads me to believe my BSME will be enough to gain an emergency teaching credential, but things may change before I am ready to try.

Eagle, have you ever thought about teaching?
 
Ed A. Stevens said:
Eagle, have you ever thought about teaching?

Yes, I have. The thought recurs from time to time, but its easily cured by spending a few minutes in moderate proximity to a few high school age kids. Being in Mickey D's at lunch time on a Saturday, for example, provides sufficient exposure to high school kids to last me for months.

I must be an alien, because I don't think ALL of them could be aliens, but we obviously are not from the same planet.
 
Interesting - I'm tossing around the idea of trying for a TA spot at De Anza (a college here, undergrad) in either Auto Tech or Manufacturing Tech. I figure I should be able to teach the lower courses while I take the upper classes for the two-year in both programmes, after challenging the base stuff. 20+ years of swinging wrenches and a few years of making ultralight airplane parts with lathe and mill should knock out the first year or so...

It's not that I have an issue with ejamacashun, it's just that I feel the teacher should have something to teach me, not the other way 'round. I figure someone actually credentialed in trades should have something to offer to fill in the holes, but I've run across "grads" here and found out that they know less than I do, and I have become convinced that the California Academic System has become little more than a diploma mill. I will reserve higher academic education for when I DEROS from this place - I'm feeling more and more like I'm overseas...

5-90
 
Well, after 15 years my wife went back to school for her elementary education teaching degree, took 4 years, full time and she graduated last June. I saw what she went thru, praxis tests, certs, etc. I don't have the time or attitude for that any more. I was looking at a job with the computer support group that handles NE PA, looked really good too. It took me two weeks to fill out the forms, get the two clearances back for not being a purve or molester and two written letters of recommendation from 'reputable people', I was tempted to get one from a parole officer I know in NJ's SAG :) but my wife gave me 'The LOOK'. I'm still waiting on the second clearance. Meanwhile I see what my wife deals with on a day by day basis just as a substitute. I think I might start looking at NYC and commuting again. Meanwhile I have two teenagers that can run cable in the nastiest jobs, do punch downs, termintate fiber run my TDR and scanner and bring up a network including basic config of DNS, NIS, LDAP, win2k, Solaris, AIX, linux. In one form or another I've been a teacher since I got my first stripe and was formally trained as an instructor by both the Navy and the Army. I Guess I'd be a lousy public school teacher, which is too bad, because people like me have alot to offer and I actually like teaching kids worthwhile stuff. Most teens are OK, even some of the weird ones, you just have to 'out weird' them to get their respect :)
 
I tried it.

I spent 6 months in a teachers ed program for college graduates. I have an ACS BSChem and 3 years in chemical engineering grad school. I like teaching people, I taught unit operations lab in grad school along with research. I liked teaching people kitchen skills throughout my career as a Chef and food service director.
I didn't enjoy the public school system. We spent much of our time student teaching and observing during the 6 months in the program. I had a 6th grader threaten me(I'm not small), kids that couldn't write in script, none of them could do math without a calculator, and this was in chem classes which are usually the upper tier. I was taught to teach the child, not the subject. I understand the concept, but by the time they are in high school chemistry, they need to have learned how to learn and they need to learn the subject. A chemist should teach chemistry, period. What pissed me off the most was watching a class in advanced placement chemistry. It was rigourous, but all that was taught was how to pass the advanced placement test, rather than attempting to instill an understanding of the subject that would enable a good student to pass any test. The excuse was that this is what the parents wanted, but the reality was the teacher didn't want the hassle of trying to make the lazy twits learn something. Than there is my son's 3rd grade teacher who teaches the kids to do well on the CSAP test, because that is how the state grades the performance of each school and it's teachers.
It's a tough job. While it's filled with many people my age with no talent or ability that are coasting toward retirement, there are many quite dedicated people who work quite a bit harder than your average government bureaucrat, or corporate middle exec.
One reason I didn't go on in the program was that I wasn't sure I could teach well enough to do the kids justice.
Fred
 
I think you all are 100% right. I am a teacher out here in the not-so-great state of California and I tell you what, a college degree doesn't mean crap. There are some really great teachers out here, but is has nothing to do with education. There are some highly educated people who I wouldnt let near a kid. You all sound like reasonable people, and that is what we need out here. I deal with far too many people living somewhere out in fantasy land. The credential programs are cranking out socialist puppets to fill the schools on a yearly basis, and they are going unchecked. No one seems to care that not every kid will be going to Harvard. Tech classes are almost a novelty out here. No one seems to realize that if we don't give these students some kind of skill, they'll be out boosting stereos or cooking meth (ok, maybe it'll be the science class kids cooking meth, but still) I talk to kids on a daily basis that have no idea that things like welding or cabinetry are actual jobs. Wow, this rant surprised me. I guess I just daw this thread and had to chime in. Thanks for listening.

Karlm
 
Fred writes: "kids that couldn't write in script"

Working in civil engineering...the last think I want to see when I open up an old field note book to see what the last guy did on a drainage system, or to audit 'for pay' quantities is someone's grade-school wannabe cursive writing and faulty arithmetic. NICE BLOCK LETTERS ARE FINE and calculators are OK too if the sums check correctly upon audit :) I don't think I've tried to write in cursive since 6th grade... a useless skill for a technical type. Block print makes for a clumsy love-letter though.

What pisses me off is teaching kids towards a test. It's the theory behind a subject that is important IMHO, even if a kid is a marginal C>D student...if the lightbulb at least gets lit as to the 'why' some folks obsess on this or that subject, it at least gives the student an inkling. They may decide then that being an astronaut or physisist isn't for them, but MAY decide that something else DOES suit them. Affording kids opportunities to explore the possibilities is a big challenge for educators, and unfortunately many don't bother with them. That meth-cooking HS kid could repent & become an 18D Special Forces Demo Sergeant in just a few clean years...and be helluva lot more 'wise' once he gets on an A Team from his early lab & street experiences than some boy scout beta-club chump.

KarlM writes of his experiences as a teacher, and I'd concur with (and pity) the fact that the 'goal' for secondary ed is getting them out of there. The fact that matriculating students have no marketable skills and marginal education to go with a generally self-centered attitude seems lost on most in the education 'business.' It might "take a village" to raise a child, but it takes a freakin inquisitive & motivated brain within that child for it to be more than just a PITA and a drain on the rest of society in it's future.

It isn't cool that the corrections 'business' picks up a lot of clients from the education 'business' scraps though. Maybe it has & will always be that way... it just seems like a waste of our resources to me.

I can't talk alot of crap, as I was a HS dropout (not academically) that passed up a free ticket to Harvard or MIT (maybe) for a tour in the service, where I passed up a trip to West Point Prep to rise from E1 to E6 in 4 years - with a quick trip back from E4 to E3 once :dunno: because I simply wanted to be an NCO...a leader of Men. Once that got boring with no wars to go off to, I got out and decided to try other things.

I count a lot of my successes from the great primary education I received K-6, but also for having learned patience and a willingness to learn, plus the ability to be taught or learn from experience. Without a background from where learning was cool, who knows?

I have a lot of respect for educators, and if I could share one trait universally with them, it would be patience...I'd counsel them not to squander their talents on just the talented, but at least attempt to share it with the challenged and try to get a spark lit up there too. Our society won't suffer if enough educators try harder. It WILL suffer if they all submit to status quo or just give up.

Woody
 
Anyone can motivate a winner. It takes work to motivate a loser. When I looked for men, I got them from the Stockade and showed them someone gave a damn.

Of course, there were some brains there to work with, or I'd not have bothered. The principal reason I considered teaching a trade in college is the simple fact that you don't have to go to college (under the law) like high school, so it's a fair shot that at least half of the people in the room WANT to be there, and are at least marginally interested.

Woody - what happened, did you get bored? The only thing that kept me from dropping out of HS was my old man - I hated working for him more than I hated school.

KarlM, I see you're in Chico. Are the kids there as bad as here in the South Bay? I'm just curious - I've not been to Chico in a while, and the last few times I've been by I kept going (farther destination in mind - 2500 mile driving trip.) Maybe we can bounce around backchannel and see how far this mental infection is spreading.

The biggest problem with education these days - apart from the lack of literati in the teaching profession - is this disturbing trend toward specialisation. I'm not a specialist, I'm a generalist. I need to get back in practise welding, but I can probably walk up to a lathe and get started (and it's been YEARS,) I can fire up a torch and do damn near anything with it, I can do plumbing, woodwork, metalwork, mechanics, mechanical design, fabrication, cook, clean, fight, assemble and repair computers and networks, make furniture (simple stuff,) cast metal, cast plastics, load ammunition, use ammunition, repair firearms, drive VERY well - nearly anything, and a whole slew of other things. Problem is, most of this stuff is a little dated (everyone wants CNC machinists now, f'r instance,) or I learned all this informally, and there's no experience of school that fits well on a resume. I'm the guy in the back that can do pretty much anything, overqualified and undereducated. For some strange reason, they pick the fool with 16 years of school instead of the fool (me) with 12 years of school and years and YEARS of practical experience. Hell, most of the time I see a degree requirement on a job posting it doesn't even call for education in a related discipline. Did I miss something?

Oh - read job postings sometime. I think I'm finally beginning to understand the term "functionally illiterate" - I previously thought it an impossibility...

Math without calculators? A few years ago, I had to drop $100 on a calculator for her youngest for a math class. It was REQUIRED! When I took math in high school, having a calculator in class would get you tossed with a failing grade. I spent the money, tho, and the calculator is now on my desk (it's programmable, which saves room in my head.) I did get quite proficient with an abacus.

Most kids to-day don't even know how to read a clock face - and I can't wear digital. Funny watching them try to puzzle out the time on my watch, and I don't tell them. Soon, I will be ordering a watch with a 24-hr dial (I've wanted one for the longest) and that should be even more fun! Besides, I can find North in the woods with my old analog, try that with a digital!

It's a plain fact - America is getting dumber. I wonder if we've had to adjust the IQ scales yet, before someone's "self-esteem" gets damaged when they find out they suffer from idiocy... I guess that will kick mine up a few notches, tho, so it can't be all bad... I wonder if I have those test results files somewhere....

5-90
 
I was a Coach at a private school for a cycling team last year. i didn't get paid so I did it all for fun and it was for awhile. I had a hard time getting the kids to do what they needed to do and then I found out that they weren't really interested in improving themselves, they just needed a PE credit. I did it for three months taking a couple hours off work every week to do it and then I decided that it wasn't worth my time anymore and the students didn't want to compete at a higher level. So I quit and that was that. I still love to coach and would do it again if I had the chance.
 
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