5-90
NAXJA Forum User
- Location
- Hammerspace
To think I'm a "store and forward" server - but (rarely!) I get something from time to time that I think should be shared. I've probably shared two or three items in the last couple of years (out of the thousands that I get. Gawd - my "public" email address probably gets 200-400 messages a day that make it through the SPAM filters!) but here's another that I found humourous enough to share with everyone else.
I don't think it's a repost, and my apologies in advance if you've seen it before.
----- SNIP -----
Dear Senator xxxxx,
As a native xxxxan and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you. My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S.Citizen to illegal alien stems from the bill which was recently passed by the. Senate and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill's provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last five years. I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it out.
Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.
Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost $10,000 a year. Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications, as well as "in-state" tuition rates for many colleges throughout the United States for my son. Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden of renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome car. insurance premiums. This is very important to me given that I still have college age children driving my car.
If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be most appreciative. Thank you for your assistance.
Your Loyal Constituent,
----- SNIP -----
Names have been obscured to protect the guilty (frankly, I've come of the opinion that all of our elected lawmakers are "guilty until proven innocent." If they don't like it, they can change the way they do things. If they don't, I might - and they will not like it!)
"Humour is a test of truth - if it's funny, it's probably true." Jokes like this usually get a snicker - at least! - which tells me they ring true with people. Think back ten seconds to when you finished reading the cut-and-paste - didn't you at least smirk?
As far as tax reform, forget "revenue neutral" reform. I'd like to see less of the government funded by us - I don't mind helping to pull the wagon when I don't have to hear so much bitching about how fast it's going - from the people in it! www.fairtax.org (I think) has got the right idea, but I find 23% excessive (it's excessive now!) I'd like to see a NRST administered the same way as state sales taxes (nothing on staple foodstuffs or medical necessities, applied to everything else when first sold,) but I'd also like to see it not more than 10%.
If this means we can't fund illegals, they'll just have to go elsewhere. If that means we can't fund government functionaries who don't actually do or produce anything, they'll just have to go find jobs.
And, we can stop paying our elected officials entirely, as far as I'm concerned. If we can't stop paying them, then how about a 25% flat income tax, and pay rises can only be approved by a supermajority of the constituency?
But, I digress... I've been in these discussions before - and I've got ideas that would work, save one salient point - they make sense to us, not them. So be it.
I don't think it's a repost, and my apologies in advance if you've seen it before.
----- SNIP -----
Dear Senator xxxxx,
As a native xxxxan and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you. My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S.Citizen to illegal alien stems from the bill which was recently passed by the. Senate and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill's provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last five years. I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it out.
Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.
Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost $10,000 a year. Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications, as well as "in-state" tuition rates for many colleges throughout the United States for my son. Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden of renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome car. insurance premiums. This is very important to me given that I still have college age children driving my car.
If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be most appreciative. Thank you for your assistance.
Your Loyal Constituent,
----- SNIP -----
Names have been obscured to protect the guilty (frankly, I've come of the opinion that all of our elected lawmakers are "guilty until proven innocent." If they don't like it, they can change the way they do things. If they don't, I might - and they will not like it!)
"Humour is a test of truth - if it's funny, it's probably true." Jokes like this usually get a snicker - at least! - which tells me they ring true with people. Think back ten seconds to when you finished reading the cut-and-paste - didn't you at least smirk?
As far as tax reform, forget "revenue neutral" reform. I'd like to see less of the government funded by us - I don't mind helping to pull the wagon when I don't have to hear so much bitching about how fast it's going - from the people in it! www.fairtax.org (I think) has got the right idea, but I find 23% excessive (it's excessive now!) I'd like to see a NRST administered the same way as state sales taxes (nothing on staple foodstuffs or medical necessities, applied to everything else when first sold,) but I'd also like to see it not more than 10%.
If this means we can't fund illegals, they'll just have to go elsewhere. If that means we can't fund government functionaries who don't actually do or produce anything, they'll just have to go find jobs.
And, we can stop paying our elected officials entirely, as far as I'm concerned. If we can't stop paying them, then how about a 25% flat income tax, and pay rises can only be approved by a supermajority of the constituency?
But, I digress... I've been in these discussions before - and I've got ideas that would work, save one salient point - they make sense to us, not them. So be it.
