April Fools

Beej said:

Que?

I've been on youtube looking at...err...videos for an hour now and have yet to notice any April fool's pranks.

School me...

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GrimmJeeper said:

:roflmao:


got BOTH my kids with the cup of water over the door trick within 5 mins of eachother this morning now wait till my wife opens the coffe can and 5 of those snakes jump out :gag:

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woot.com said:

C’mon, you didn’t think we’d make you endure all those battery packs and then make the BOC sales fake, didja? Actually, that sounds exactly like something we’d do. But not today, friend. Not today. If you manage to get an order in, and we accept it, and you don’t do anything foolish like move house or die in the next few weeks, crap shall be yours. We haven’t figured out if that makes you one of the lucky ones or one of the unlucky ones.
If you missed out, play the Random Crap Home Game: have the lady at the dollar store blindfold you, spin you around, and sell you the first three things you stumble into. She’ll probably give you a bag, too.
EYES THISWISE, PLEASE, FOR THIS ADVISORY OF CRUCIAL IMPORT TO AMERICA’S FUTURE:
1. WHEN YOU ORDER THIS ITEM, YOU’LL GET ONE BAG WITH (up to) THREE CRAPS IN IT.
2. YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR SELECTING THE QUANTITY THREE WHEN YOU ORDER.
3. YOU WILL WASTE FREIGHT IF YOU ORDER FEWER THAN THREE.
All we’re promising is some kind of bag and some quantity of crap. Ancillary benefits may or may not include packing materials, packing labels, air, forum bragging rights, exotic insect pests hiding in the packing, and deep feelings of betrayal and regret.
THE HOLY CRAP COMMANDMENTS:
01. Thou shalt not expect thy crap to be especially nice. The only permissible exception: non-native English speakers who have recently learned to speak the language and may be unfamiliar with the word “crap”.
02. Thou shalt not whine and complain when some people’s crap turns out to be nicer than yours. Nothing personal, dirty. We say “random” and “random” we mean. It’s not our fault if the gods, in their wisdom, have deemed you inferior. Take it up with Zeus, Ra, Huitzilopochtli, or whoever.
03. Thou shalt take a moment to consider whether you might be better off just not buying this crap. In fact, this is a good general rule for living.
04. Thou shalt not order just one crap and blame it on our server. Our server’s taken just about enough abuse from you this past week. Don’t antagonize a machine that possesses your credit card number and a means to disseminate it to hundreds of thousands of people.
05. To paraphrase Stephen Stills, if you don’t get the crap you want, want the crap you get.

THE HOLY CRAP COMMANDMENTS v2.0:
I. Thou shalt expect nothing beyond one bag of some kind and your chosen quantity of crappy items (which should be THREE).
II. Thou shalt not whine and complain when some people’s crap turns out to be nicer than yours.
III. Thou shalt take a moment to consider whether you might be better off just not buying this crap.
IV. Thou shalt not order just one crap and blame it on anything but your own inattention.
V. To paraphrase Stephen Stills, shalt thou not get the crap you want, want the crap you get.

• The crap will be shipped via SmartPost, the crappiest shipping method available to us.

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streetpirate said:

another one, rubber band on the sprayer on the kitchen sink. I knew about that one and still managed to get myself 3 times with it yesterday.

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spudly said:

Son of a Bitch, I've been Rickrolled!

I'm so getting one of those Betamax to HD-DVD converters! Now I can watch all my Betamax porn the way it was meant to be seen!

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