Adoption

Hey guys, I'll keep this as short as possible. I'm not very active on this board. I mostly just lurk around for knowledge and drool over builds

That being said, my wife and I need a hand. Over the last couple years we have experienced 5 miscarriages. Had every test possible, only to have them all come back perfectly normal. No answers.

That brought us to adoption. We always wanted to later on in life. All of this has made us realize there is no sense in waiting.

So here we are. Paperwork is being finished. Home study is done. The insane amount of money is all that's left we've cut out everywhere we can. Eating cheap, cut the cable off, we don't have any insane debts or anything.

We are doing a couple local fundraisers: spaghetti dinner, silent auction, etc..but it is still a very slow trickle coming in. So I'm reaching out any way I can to make this happen.

Below is our youcaring page. I know everyone is in a tight spot. But, If any of you would like to help out, it would really mean a lot to us.


If this isn't the place for this or If it needs to be deleted or moved, feel free to do so. I understand completely.

Thanks for reading!

https://www.youcaring.com/lukeandrachelwilfong-746944


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I wish you the best of luck. Our now 2 year old was adopted as a newborn so we know all about the funding needed to do so.
1. If you want to talk to a random stranger who has been in your shoes, PM me and I'll gladly answer any questions I can or just let you vent when it gets hard.
2. Make sure you keep an eye on the federal tax adoption credit/deduction. It seems to change pretty often and I know folks are fighting for legislation that will make it a real credit but right now it's based on your tax liability. One year, we got 100% of our taxes refunded to us and a good portion the next year. Can't claim it till finalization but when you can, do it.
3. Check out Resolve. They are a national organization that has tons of resources for infertility awareness but also have support groups but it doesn't appear there is one near you.

That's awesome man. Luckily we have a family friend that does our taxes. He has also been through the adoption process. So I will be sure to remind him of that. I've not heard of resolve. I'll definitely look into them.


I'm not normally a very open person. But all of this has taught me that you need people in your life to help you along the way. My wife and I are constantly reaching out and offering a shoulder to people that have been in similar shoes. So I definitely appreciate the offer. I might take you up on that as the process continues.


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First Good Luck. Having twins I've never been in the shoes of someone trying to adopt. Is this for a child here or overseas? Is the expense lawyers? If I'm asking too personal stuff just ignore me..... and again Good Luck.

No you're fine. We are working with an agency that primarily works with domestic adoptions and with newborns. The expense is the adoption agency costs. The average cost is around 35k. Not including home study, consultant fees and everything else. My wife and I have already spent about 5k and haven't even gotten into the "adoption" fee yet.

When you break down that 35k it goes towards taxes, attorneys, birth mom expenses, etc...

The 18k that is our goal on our page is an approx halfway point for us. Once you are "matched" with a child you owe 50%. Once you officially have the child in your custody you owe the other half. The time span between those two could be 7-8 months or it could be 5 hours... totally depends on the situation.


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Just talked to a couple that had the same issue with miscarriages. Ended up being because of low progesterone levels. (Hormone that causes morning sickness) I will ask them again but the doctor gave her something for the hormone and they where able to conceive. They saw a few doctors before it was figured out so might be worth looking into.

Yeah, writing a $10k+ check to the agency while you're in the hospital so you can take your newborn is a nerve-wracking experience.

I appreciate the info and you looking out. Sadly we have been down the progesterone route, clotting factors, test this, test that, and about everything in between. We've been to three specialists and tried every thing we can. We've had friends offer to surrogate. But it's more expensive than adopting( unless we were to use my stuff only). The wife and I have talked long and hard about that and decided if it can't be both of us, we would rather just adopt.

And to be honest, We both can't wait to adopt. My sister has 2 bio kids and 2 adopted. I don't play favorites. But those adopted kids are something special.

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dan1977p said:

Yeah, writing a $10k+ check to the agency while you're in the hospital so you can take your newborn is a nerve-wracking experience.

Click to expand...

I'm excited and terrified of that day. Lol


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Sitting at dinner last night we saw a guy making one of these at the bar. My father in law went over to talk to him about it and somehow ended up talking about the silent auction we are doing for our adoption. About ten minutes later he went out to his car and donated this one for us. With a quick "hang loose" we was out. People are pretty incredible.


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We had a HUGE yardsale this weekend to raise money. Totally overwhelmed with all the support. Ended up bringing in $2963.91 in a day and a half!

Next up is our silent auction and spaghetti dinner on April 22!

Hmm, wonder why the major costs? It's a shame that businesses need to charge so much and make it so difficult for someone to help out a kid. Is that normal across the country? My in-laws just adopted two boys a couple years ago. I'm about 98% certain that they didn't spend much of anything.

Then again, they weren't newborn. They were 4 and 7.

Going through the state is pretty darn cheap but private agencies are generally expensive. We like the agency, one, for the option of newborn since we like the idea of preventing abortions, and two, there is an option for contact between biological mother and OUR son in the future, but that can be controlled through the agency. With the state, is more of a catch and release and they want nothing to do with anyone after you take legal custody.

That's very true. Those are basically the same reasons we are going that route. Through the state can be much cheaper. But there are a lot of pros and cons to all routes. The way we have felt pushed by God is to go the agency route for a new born. Not to mention, selfishly, we want a baby. I think that eventually we will look into adopting an older child. But that will be a ways down the road.

Anybody that may be interested/available to come, my wife and I are having a spaghetti dinner and silent auction in College Grove,TN on April 22. We have all kinds of great stuff that will be in the auction. I am still scrambling around working with venders for some last minute stuff. To give you a preview we will have a smittybilt hi lift, Kicks Brooks autographed wine from Arrington vineyards, custom built furniture, end zone titans tickets, etc...

Details are on our Facebook page. Feel free to join, share or do whatever. Hope y'all can make it. Any questions, just ask.

https://www.facebook.com/events/111126832758229??ti=ia

Well, it happened!!! We have officially been matched with a baby boy in Utah. He's due July 16th. His brother came early, so it's very probable the he will too. Money is sent! We're sitting here with our bags packed, staring at our phones. It's only a matter of time!

That being said, anybody have the hookup on an air bnb in the SLC/West Jordan area? We're going to need to be out there for a minimum of 10 days and between, hotel, rental car and everything else money is going to be super tight. Surely we've got some members our that way

The Luke said:

Well, it happened!!! We have officially been matched with a baby boy in Utah. He's due July 16th. His brother came early, so it's very probable the he will too. Money is sent! We're sitting here with our bags packed, staring at our phones. It's only a matter of time!

That being said, anybody have the hookup on an air bnb in the SLC/West Jordan area? We're going to need to be out there for a minimum of 10 days and between, hotel, rental car and everything else money is going to be super tight. Surely we've got some members our that way

Click to expand...

Pm Macgyvr he was the club president for a while and is planning the big Moab event he might have some contacts.

Perfect. Thank you sir

I'll check as well to see if I know anyone who can help out. I know some folks in that area and my wife co-founded UIRC and they may have some folks who would happily host folks coming in for an adoption.